I need advice from Asian Men

[Justasweetblackchic]

I'm a 30 year old black woman, slim attractive and working on a Master's degree. I work with this Chinese guy who I'm attracted to. He's really nice and since I'm new on the job he's really helping me a lot to understand the job. I asked him to join me for me for lunch and he agreed. Afterwards I asked him if he wanted to join me for dinner after work but he said because rides a van pool he couldn't but he'd loved to have lunch again. Okay so we have lunch again and I ask him to attend a fair with me but he turns me down again and says he has to work. I'm making every effort that I can to show him I like him. I asked him if I could call him if I had questions about the job and he gave me his phone number and email address. In addition he willingly meets me for lunch on a regular basis but I don't know if he's attracted to me. I know I don't come on strong because I'm too conservative for that and also I'm a virgin. I'm very kind also. I know by this point he knows I'm attracted to him. I guess what I'm trying to find out is am I wasting my time? Are Chinese/Asian men just not attracted to black women at all? I really like him so much because we share a lot of the same family background. His mom and my mom are elderly widows that were housewives all their married lives and both our dads died from heart failure. Both of us are loners at work and don't quite fit in. We're both trying to take care of our widowed mothers. I guess it saddens me that some Asian men can't see past the dark skin. What are your thoughts? Should I be more patient? Should I just move on? Should I just bluntly tell him I like him?

[bluejives]

I'm a 30 year old black woman, slim attractive and working on a Master's degree. I work with this Chinese guy who I'm attracted to. He's really nice and since I'm new on the job he's really helping me a lot to understand the job. I asked him to join me for me for lunch and he agreed. Afterwards I asked him if he wanted to join me for dinner after work but he said because rides a van pool he couldn't but he'd loved to have lunch again. Okay so we have lunch again and I ask him to attend a fair with me but he turns me down again and says he has to work. I'm making every effort that I can to show him I like him. I asked him if I could call him if I had questions about the job and he gave me his phone number and email address. In addition he willingly meets me for lunch on a regular basis but I don't know if he's attracted to me. I know I don't come on strong because I'm too conservative for that and also I'm a virgin. I'm very kind also. I know by this point he knows I'm attracted to him. I guess what I'm trying to find out is am I wasting my time? Are Chinese/Asian men just not attracted to black women at all? I really like him so much because we share a lot of the same family background. His mom and my mom are elderly widows that were housewives all their married lives and both our dads died from heart failure. Both of us are loners at work and don't quite fit in. We're both trying to take care of our widowed mothers. I guess it saddens me that some Asian men can't see past the dark skin. What are your thoughts? Should I be more patient? Should I just move on? Should I just bluntly tell him I like him?

Do you two work in an uptight corporate environment where workplace romance can be a tricky thing?

[kwak76]

You can't generalize that all Asian men don't find black women attractive. I know one guy who will marry a black woman and he is Korean.

Anyway if he can't pick up the cue it maybe just him and he just can't see it.
Is he Westernize or "fobby"? Sometimes the cultural aspect plays the part.

[Justasweetblackchic]

Bluejives,
We work in a very relaxed work place. It's a government job. I have his home email address and he has my home email address so anything I send is through our private emails. I try to be very cautious but not mushy. I'm always telling him to call me anytime and that I enjoy his company and talking with him but so far he's not responding.

Kwak7,
I apologize for stereotyping all Asian men as this was not my intent. This guy doesn't seem fobbish at all. To me he is very Westernized. But then exactly what is Westernized? I'm African American but if you observed my family structure and the way my parents raised my siblings and I, you would think we belonged in the middle east or something.

[Candide]

You two are co-workers. Maybe he's just following the "don't dip your pen in the company's ink" rule.

I think he gets the hint but he's just politely saying no. That may have nothing to do with race.

I'm Asian and there are Asian women that I'm just not attracted to. I date non-Asian women as well but I'm not attracted to ALL of them. Race isn't an issue.

I've got similar hints from women I work with whom I find attractive, but because I take my work seriously and I meet plenty of women outside of work, I never go for it.

Keep your relationship with co-workers professional, take up some hobbies and meet people from outside. There are plenty of Asian men around and many are open to dating black women.

[nekohead]

I say NEVER date someone in your workplace.."
It just causes a ugly mess if you two don't work out..."
I seen so many times. Not with me. I would never want to go through that crap. But, with many couples. It can get ugly. Hell, we even had a girl fired because of it..." Long story. But, if you like him. I say get over it. Their are other MEN outside of the work place that will be better for you.."
Please take my advice.

[Justasweetblackchic]

Thank you for your response. I know you said there are plenty of Asian men around that will date black women but that doesn't seem to be the case here in Georgia. There are many Asian men here however they all seem to go for the white chicks. I see many Asian men with white women but never with black women. Even with online dating sites I see most Asian men only ask for white women but never black women. The same goes for other minority men. I managed to date this one Korean guy but he told me up front he could never marry a black woman...so I asked him what was the purpose of dating me. He said he just wanted to see what it was like. I didn't want to be used like that so I broke it off. It's such a struggle for me as I am an educated black woman and the number of educated black men is very small so I'm opening up my horizons but only to be disappointed. Furthermore, I have a few odds stacked against me as I'm an old fashioned woman. I'm still a virgin and I'd like to get married, have children and be a housewife and most men don't want that. Everybody want cheap thrills these days. Thank you for the advice!

[Justasweetblackchic]

Thank you for the advice. I guess this guy just isn't for me.

[RebelAzn]

Thank you for the advice. I guess this guy just isn't for me.

It is possible he is not the right guy for you. He does not seem to be giving out the right vibes. Oh well, not everyone is a good match for you. While some Asian dudes are totally clueless when it comes to women, but some of them might just think of you as a friend. I would suggest keep looking.

[Golgo13]

All I can say is, rejection is a part of life. Accept it and move on. Look for someone else.

[CJF]

You should stay friends with him though. He may have other Asian male friends that aren't in the work place that you may click with. There's actually quite a few AM/BF relationships in my college.

[ZhuBaJie]

i could be wrong, but i think my trolldar is going off here...

[Senkeh]

i could be wrong, but i think my trolldar is going off here...

You think her crush is a troll?

[Justasweetblackchic]

Zhubajie,

Sorry but I'm not a troll but I can see how you thought that especially with me being new around here. I post on Yahoo Answers a lot and you wouldn't believe the number of trolls on that site! Also I wanted to post on this site because I figured I wanted to hear from real Asians who could give sound advice. I knew if I asked this question on Yahoo Answers, I'd get replies from some smart-mouthed kid or some non-Asian who knows nothing about Asians!

Anyway, moving along.......I just bluntly came out and asked this guy to join me for ice cream at Baskin Robbins or whatever. He turned me down and told me he had ice-cream at home but would love to have lunch at work again. So I said okay to lunch but I stepped it up a notch at lunch and asked him if he wanted to bring his ice-cream over to my place and we could spend the day watching Twilight Zone while eating his ice-cream and he agreed but he said he didn't have a car. I told him I'd have no problem picking him, he said okay. Just think all this time, it was because he didn't have a car. Futhermore, I asked him if would date a black chic and he said yes! :D He also told me he'd never dated before and I told him I'd never dated before. I felt this is what really cleared the smoke. Gosh I'm so super happy. I was a bit sad before but now I'm happy. I can't believe it but I'm still not out of the woods just yet. I'd appreciate any advice or comments and I wanna thank you for your comments. I posted a comment or vent rather, in another discussion and I think I offended some people. Please forgive. I was just a little down.

[Yayagirl]

Zhubajie,

Sorry but I'm not a troll but I can see how you thought that especially with me being new around here. I post on Yahoo Answers a lot and you wouldn't believe the number of trolls on that site! Also I wanted to post on this site because I figured I wanted to hear from real Asians who could give sound advice. I knew if I asked this question on Yahoo Answers, I'd get replies from some smart-mouthed kid or some non-Asian who knows nothing about Asians!

Anyway, moving along.......I just bluntly came out and asked this guy to join me for ice cream at Baskin Robbins or whatever. He turned me down and told me he had ice-cream at home but would love to have lunch at work again. So I said okay to lunch but I stepped it up a notch at lunch and asked him if he wanted to bring his ice-cream over to my place and we could spend the day watching Twilight Zone while eating his ice-cream and he agreed but he said he didn't have a car. I told him I'd have no problem picking him, he said okay. Just think all this time, it was because he didn't have a car. Futhermore, I asked him if would date a black chic and he said yes! :D He also told me he'd never dated before and I told him I'd never dated before. I felt this is what really cleared the smoke. Gosh I'm so super happy. I was a bit sad before but now I'm happy. I can't believe it but I'm still not out of the woods just yet. I'd appreciate any advice or comments and I wanna thank you for your comments. I posted a comment or vent rather, in another discussion and I think I offended some people. Please forgive. I was just a little down.

Aww, well he sounds a bit shy but cute. Probably because he never dated a girl. Keep us posted!

[kimtae]

Jesus Christ, how old are you guys?

[Justasweetblackchic]

Kimtae,

He's 29 and I'm 30. :D

[kimtae]

Kimtae,

He's 29 and I'm 30. :D
You guys have never dated?! Not that there's anything wrong with that but damn! Well, it's a big world out there, enjoy yourselves in it.

[mobbdeep]

There should be lots of educated black folks in Georgia. I been to Atlanta and there is nothing but black folks there.

People in the South are pretty nice.

[Senkeh]

Well, glad it all worked out.

[TheMac]

Awww, AsAm/AfAm lurve.

My heart is warmed.

[Justasweetblackchic]

Well I guess it was too good to be true. I spoke with my Asian crush to confirm our meet up this weekend and he said he couldn't do it cause he had to help his mom and he needed to ask her for permission to go out. Can you believe a 29 year has to get his mom's permission to go out. So at this point I think I'll just move on. I'm really sad though because whenever I meet guys I like, they never like me back. Oh well!:confused:

[justanotherguy]

Wow...a 29 year old who has never dated before and is still living with mom AND needs to ask mom's permission...sorry to say that is a little sad. My friend (lives in NYC like I do but he lives in Manhattan) is 21 and he still has to get back home before 10 or something. I thought that was a little too old for that but at 29??? In that case, I didn't think it would work out for you guys anyway especially if you were to be his first gf and if he's a momma's boy.

You said you're 30. Why don't you go for older men like 35ish men? I suspect there are still quite a number of single 30 year old men out there especially now that people are getting married later or not getting married at all.

You know you shouldn't like a person based on their race. From your posts, it seems like you're trying to establish that you like him because he is Chinese/Asian. Most guys find it a turnoff.

I also read the post you made in another thread complaining about AM not wanting BF. I thought that post was a little immature of you (a highly educated 30 year old woman) to say. First, you're bringing your self-esteem down saying that BF is at the bottom which is not true. Every individual is different and it is up to you (the individual) to make a difference out there. Second, you also kinda insulted WF saying are "ungrateful". Not all white women are like that. Lastly, you should go for whoever has a great personality regardless of whether he is asian, white, black, hispanic, or whatever. Good luck.


*EDIT: OK, I understand he has to take care of his mom but asking permission to go out? That's like asking your friend if you can go to the restroom.

Well I guess it was too good to be true. I spoke with my Asian crush to confirm our meet up this weekend and he said he couldn't do it cause he had to help his mom and he needed to ask her for permission to go out. Can you believe a 29 year has to get his mom's permission to go out. So at this point I think I'll just move on. I'm really sad though because whenever I meet guys I like, they never like me back. Oh well!:confused:

[tokyolovestory]

Jeez, really? 29 years old and still asking permission? That's a red flag right there. Either he's totally not grown up yet or he's lying to you to get out of your... appointment. Either way, time to move on.

[ZhuBaJie]

Wow...a 29 year old who has never dated before and is still living with mom AND needs to ask mom's permission...sorry to say that is a little sad. My friend (lives in NYC like I do but he lives in Manhattan) is 21 and he still has to get back home before 10 or something. I thought that was a little too old for that but at 29??? In that case, I didn't think it would work out for you guys anyway especially if you were to be his first gf and if he's a momma's boy.

that's one reason i still sense troll. but again, i could be wrong.

You said you're 30. Why don't you go for older men like 35ish men? I suspect there are still quite a number of single 30 year old men out there especially now that people are getting married later or not getting married at all.

many single guys in their mid 30s are after girls that are in their early to mid 20s. one of the perks about being a guy is that time is totally on our side. if i become single when i'm 40 or 50, i'm totally going after chicks that are 20 years younger. yes, i will be that perverted old dude.

You know you shouldn't like a person based on their race. From your posts, it seems like you're trying to establish that you like him because he is Chinese/Asian. Most guys find it a turnoff.

i personally don't find it a turnoff. i find it an easy lay.

[Justasweetblackchic]

Justanotherguy,

Thanks for your post but older men aren't attracted to a 30 year virgin who has never been in a relationship. This comes up quite a lot when I've tried to date. You have to realize in this day and time men liked experienced women and that's something I lack and I'm not just trying to sleep with somebody just so I can get some experience. Also, I wasn't attracted to this guy because he was Chinese, how'd you make that assumption? What I liked about him was his personality and I liked it even more that he has not dated or been in a relationship like me! I thought WOW.....finally someone I could relate to. Futhermore he even told me he didn't want a woman that had any sexual experience so of course I was floating on cloud nine! I just could see him and I together and I do stand by my statement that black women are at the bottom of the barrell. Sorry but this is true, black women are the most single women of all races, parents don't want their sons bringing black women home, futhermore, have you read or heard all the complaints by black women not being able to find a date/husband? I have many beautiful, educated, childless, no attitude black female friends in their 30's and you know what???? They can't find men on their levels. I suggest you go to Youtube and type "single black women crisis" or "black women and dating" and you'll see what I'm talking about. Futhermore, check out Yahoo Answers and do a search on "black women and dating" and you'll see the various questions posed by black women asking if people find black women attractive or why don't other races date black women or why can't black women find husbands like everyone else. While you are there, check out the Gender and Women's Studies section and see how the white women rant on and on about how stupid they think men are and how they still don't make the same salary as a man. This is what I mean by white women being ungrateful. They should count their blessings and realize they are on top of the world! :eek:

[Justasweetblackchic]

ZhuBaJie

Sorry no troll here..don't mean to burst your bubble.

You are correct though....men my age are going for the 20 year olds. I get quite a few 60 and 70 year olds trying to talk to me and I find it digusting, especially considering they are usually married and have kids my age....YUCK!!

[Justasweetblackchic]

Tokyolovestory,

Thanks for the advice! :)

[justanotherguy]

Who cares what other people think? Just be yourself and be confident. Try not to let your world be governed by these stupid stereotypes. Again I am only 21 turning 22 soon and may not have as much life experience as you might of have. I realize that people who constantly talks about this stuff are very insecure people...just like AM constantly complaining about why asian girls go for white guys on the internet and not doing anything themselves.

I've seen black women and asian men as well have success in the dating world so you can't generalize on race itself.

Justanotherguy,

Thanks for your post but older men aren't attracted to a 30 year virgin who has never been in a relationship. This comes up quite a lot when I've tried to date. You have to realize in this day and time men liked experienced women and that's something I lack and I'm not just trying to sleep with somebody just so I can get some experience. Also, I wasn't attracted to this guy because he was Chinese, how'd you make that assumption? What I liked about him was his personality and I liked it even more that he has not dated or been in a relationship like me! I thought WOW.....finally someone I could relate to. Futhermore he even told me he didn't want a woman that had any sexual experience so of course I was floating on cloud nine! I just could see him and I together and I do stand by my statement that black women are at the bottom of the barrell. Sorry but this is true, black women are the most single women of all races, parents don't want their sons bringing black women home, futhermore, have you read or heard all the complaints by black women not being able to find a date/husband? I have many beautiful, educated, childless, no attitude black female friends in their 30's and you know what???? They can't find men on their levels. I suggest you go to Youtube and type "single black women crisis" or "black women and dating" and you'll see what I'm talking about. Futhermore, check out Yahoo Answers and do a search on "black women and dating" and you'll see the various questions posed by black women asking if people find black women attractive or why don't other races date black women or why can't black women find husbands like everyone else. While you are there, check out the Gender and Women's Studies section and see how the white women rant on and on about how stupid they think men are and how they still don't make the same salary as a man. This is what I mean by white women being ungrateful. They should count their blessings and realize they are on top of the world! :eek:

[Senkeh]

Well I guess it was too good to be true. I spoke with my Asian crush to confirm our meet up this weekend and he said he couldn't do it cause he had to help his mom and he needed to ask her for permission to go out.

Ewwwww. That's like...ewwww.

[elan_vital]

Just to comment on the asian guy not liking black girls thing.


I'm black, and my boyfriend is Asian. Like someone already said, if you are dating him solely because he is Asian you can not get mad if the reason he's NOT dating you is because you're black. He's just returning the racial favoritism back.

Good luck tho.
If you do exclusively asian guys I'm sure you can find a more open, outgoing, unattached from his parents asian guy. They're out there.

[DONKEY]

i lol'd at the part where she asked him out to baskin robbins and he said no cuz he has his own ice cream at home.
next time someone asks me if i want to go out for drinks and dancing im gonna say "nah i got beer and a stereo at home, cya l8r"

[Candide]

From reading your posts,

I know I don't come on strong because I'm too conservative for that and also I'm a virgin.

I'm a lot more experienced in dating than the Chinese guy you fancy, and I reckon you're coming on strong enough and show your intentions very clearly. For him, you might be way too direct. Most women don't approach and ask a guy out so many times.

I think the reason he isn't getting it and keeps making lame excuses is mainly because he's a dickless wonder mummy's boy. Forget about him. Get out there and you'll meet plenty better guys.

[Candide]

Regarding the AM-BF thing, there are very few BFs where I live, but this weekend I met a few stunning ones at a soul club. One is a singer in the band playing there. I had to get that lovely lady's number. Skin colour? Who cares when you're in awe of that beautiful sexy voice and radiant smile? She's half African, half Indian from Mauritius.

[Justasweetblackchic]

Thanks for your post. No I'm not exclusively attracted to Asian men. I'm not sure how you drew that conclusion. I think someone else did too. I assume it's because I mentioned he was Asian but I had to because I was hoping to get some real good advice from some Asian men because I'm not as familiar with Asian customs and I wasn't sure if I was approaching him the right way. But I have heard many complaints from other black women who exclusively like Asian men that say they have a hard time dating Asian men because Asian men don't seem to like black women.

[aznbutterfly123]

Your tactics are too strong and he can see this. There is a reason why you are not getting the response you hoped for. You have to realize that your idea of "aggressive" and his are on two different cultural levels. It is safe to say many Asian girls (including myself) are not as aggressive as the way you presented yourself to him. I am no in no way trying to harp on your moves, but you must tone it down a bit.
What really puts the icing on the cake is when you asked him out for ice cream and he said he didn't need any because he had some at home. This means quite literally: HE DOES NOT WANT TO GET ICE CREAM WITH YOU. Please do not take this personally but I don't want to see someone so obviously wasting their time. Move on...

[Candide]

You have to realize that your idea of "aggressive" and his are on two different cultural levels.

I disagree. It's just two very inexperienced people in dating miscommunicating due to fears and well, lack of experience. One turns it into clumsiness and extreme shyness and the other becomes a little too aggressive while missing all the obvious cues. Cultures have little to do with it.

[aznbutterfly123]

I disagree. It's just two very inexperienced people in dating miscommunicating due to fears and well, lack of experience. One turns it into clumsiness and extreme shyness and the other becomes a little too aggressive while missing all the obvious cues. Cultures have little to do with it.

I must disagree. Now let's say the guy has a ton of dating experience and the girl does the same. The girls idea of aggressive, when pursuing such as Black men, is a world of difference from when pursuing Asian men. You cannot say the way Black women pursue and Asian women pursue are on the same level. If this were the case we'd be seeing much more AM/BF couples. Of course there are exceptions to the case, but we can't lie to ourselves and say this site is an epidemic.

[King4aDay]

I must disagree. Now let's say the guy has a ton of dating experience and the girl does the same. The girls idea of aggressive, when pursuing such as Black men, is a world of difference from when pursuing Asian men. You cannot say the way Black women pursue and Asian women pursue are on the same level. If this were the case we'd be seeing much more AM/BF couples. Of course there are exceptions to the case, but we can't lie to ourselves and say this site is an epidemic.

As a Black guy, I can tell you that there is no one way that Black girls pursue. But, naturally your point that there are cultural differences stands. But just so you know, the idea that the "Black girl stye" is aggressive isn't true, at least in my own experience.

[Candide]

If we're going to generalise, then most girls don't pursue guys (mainly at the initial stages), full stop. What girls think is aggressive, is nothing comparable to what guys think it should be, or the standards that guys are held up to, when it comes to taking the initiative in dating. Ask the guys (of whatever race). I'm sure most will tell you that the stereotype of certain types of girls aggressively pursuing guys is BS.


You cannot say the way Black women pursue and Asian women pursue are on the same level.


The levels are more gender-specific than cultural.


If this were the case we'd be seeing much more AM/BF couples.


It takes more than just one side pursuing the other to make a couple.


Now let's say the guy has a ton of dating experience and the girl does the same.


If Justasweetblackchic were to pursue me in the same way she did to that Chinese guy, well, it's likely that I'd know she likes me before she even asks me out, and I'd either ask her out first or have a Let's-Just-Be-Friends speech ready instead of "I'd have to ask my mum" or "I have ice-cream at home". And I'm as Asian as the next guy named Nguyen (me: 25 y.o, spent first 18 years in Asia).

[aznbutterfly123]

If we're going to generalise, then most girls don't pursue guys (mainly at the initial stages), full stop. What girls think is aggressive, is nothing comparable to what guys think it should be, or the standards that guys are held up to, when it comes to taking the initiative in dating. Ask the guys (of whatever race). I'm sure most will tell you that the stereotype of certain types of girls aggressively pursuing guys is BS.



The levels are more gender-specific than cultural.



It takes more than just one side pursuing the other to make a couple.



If Justasweetblackchic were to pursue me in the same way she did to that Chinese guy, well, it's likely that I'd know she likes me before she even asks me out, and I'd either ask her out first or have a Let's-Just-Be-Friends speech ready instead of "I'd have to ask my mum" or "I have ice-cream at home". And I'm as Asian as the next guy named Nguyen (me: 25 y.o, spent first 18 years in Asia).

You must have seen a ton of AM/BF couples in Asia because I've lived my entire life in both California/New York and these sites are rare. We can argue back and forth about generalizing but at the end of the day the girl's approach (blackchick) was too aggressive for something the Asian guy (not just him, but many others) are accustomed to. If a girl (BF specific) were to show interest by constantly hounding about "ice cream dates" and "seeing each other again" the first thing coming out of his mouth is: no. You need to stop sugar coating something that needs to be said. SweetblackChick was overaggressive and that scared him and will scare many other AM's if she does not tone down the attitude. There are different attitudes among showing interest and it just so happens (this is not a bad trait) BF's (in my observation) tend to be more aggressive than other females.

But you should know!

[King4aDay]

Above I warned a bit about the general idea that the "Black girl" style of pursuit is aggressive. But, I probably should have put it into context by answering the question, "as compared to what?"

The answer to that would be, "as compared to the overall American style." I think that, as a rule, the overall modern American (Sex and the City) culture is much more aggressive than traditional East Asian cultural norms.

In fact, the most aggressive come-on that I've ever received came from a somewhat tipsy Anglo-American girl last year at a wedding reception. But I suppose that everyone has their own experiences to draw from, I'm sure.

[Candide]

You must have seen a ton of AM/BF couples in Asia because I've lived my entire life in both California/New York and these sites are rare.


I didn't say that AM/BF couples are plenty. Btw, all of my dating experience has been in Australia (I only had 1 GF in high school when I was in Asia).


We can argue back and forth about generalizing but at the end of the day the girl's approach (blackchick) was too aggressive for something the Asian guy (not just him, but many others) are accustomed to. If a girl (BF specific) were to show interest by constantly hounding about "ice cream dates" and "seeing each other again" the first thing coming out of his mouth is: no. You need to stop sugar coating something that needs to be said. SweetblackChick was overaggressive and that scared him and will scare many other AM's if she does not tone down the attitude.


Certainly. She should tone down her aggressive (for a girl) approach if she wants to date Asian guys who act like dickless wonder momma's boys and she can wait until the next century for one of them to find his balls and ask her out. Her directness is fine if she wants to date Asian men. Her approach is the standard expected of men and since I'm all for gender equality, I don't mind at all if women do that.

Now if she's the type who talks about marriage & kids and other serious shit on first dates, I'd agree that it's way too aggressive and shows desperation.

[ZhuBaJie]

i still have a bit of suspicion that she's a troll, but assuming she's not - have any of you ever considered that maybe that Asian guy is just not attracted to her, and that it has nothing to do with her race? i mean, we have no idea what she looks like.

[Tyger Durden]

i still have a bit of suspicion that she's a troll, but assuming she's not - have any of you ever considered that maybe that Asian guy is just not attracted to her, and that it has nothing to do with her race? i mean, we have no idea what she looks like.

Your question certainly cuts to the heart of the matter. "Race" becomes a smokescreen in some contexts, only what lies on the surface of a situation and something easy to focus on.

The Asian guy in question may like Black girls in general, but not this one in particular for whatever reasons.

[RebelAzn]

The Asian guy in question may like Black girls in general, but not this one in particular for whatever reasons.

What a concept. An Asian guy could very well like a black girl, it does not mean he is attracted to every black girl and vice versa. Sometimes it just has everything to do with chemistry vs. race. I had black women asked me point blank if I would date black women. I had older women asked me if I am ok with dating older women. Well, sometimes the direct approach might be the answer. It is very possible this guy might not be attracted to her.