Intraracial Relationships

[AZN MAN]

I'm on a roll today.

Here's a personal situation that may be familiar with a lot of the peeps here. Lately my parents are becoming more concerned with my single life, hinting that perhaps it's time for me to find a permanent female companion. I'm the last in line for this; both of my siblings are married with children yet I feel no sense of urgency to settle down ... I like being single.

Here's the deal: Without specifically stating it, my parents are moving toward choosing the type of woman for me. No, it's not the arranged marriage thing and I highly doubt that would happen. But lately my Mother has been making a habit of asking me who I'm hanging out with, and what ethnicity she is. Today she called and posed the same question. I told her in the last week there was a Viet, a Chinese Indonesian, and a Half J/Half K lady. While remaining polite, she mentioned cultural tidbits on her experiences with Viet, Chinese, and Korean women.

Previously I’d let this roll off my back, however she's now dropping hints that I should restrict my dating to Japanese women. While I was in Japan, my Dad was chiding me whenever I’d come into contact with a Japanese lady that he felt was physically appealing. Yeah Mom, yeah Dad, I’m now getting the hint.

Last month my Dad mentioned to me that he and my Mother were contemplating the idea of moving back to Japan permanently. My Dad then proceeded to give me lectures on what I needed to do in order to move there. It dawned on me later that what he really meant is that if they do move back to the old country, they’d want one of the children there with them. Being that I’m the single one, of course I’d be that child. To them, I suspect that me hooking up with a Japanese woman would be kind of like a cultural homecoming for them. I can hear them saying it now, “You’ll be speaking your language and becoming fluent again, you’ll enjoy being with your people, etc.”

My take was simply that I currently live in LA, and the Japanese population here is dwindling so I’ll date whoever, Asians and Non-Asians, it makes no difference to me. As soon as this came out of my mouth I knew what the response would be … go back to Japan, you’ll have your pick … yeah yeah yeah, OK enough please! This wasn’t a big deal before but why is it now? Damn! (Of course, I'd like to make it clear that I've met some cool Japanese women but that's not the point).

I’m curious to know how many peeps here have parents that are culturally/ethnically restricting concerning your choice for a marriage partner? Japanese/Japanese, Chinese/Chinese, Korean/Korean, etc. To me my own happiness supercedes someone else’s happiness so I’m not particularly in a caring mood about the strictness right now, but I am wondering why my supposed liberal parents all of a sudden dropped the J-Bomb on me since neither of my siblings had to endure it. I suspect it may be an ethnic pride thing as both my siblings married Whites.

I know I’m not the only one here that’s had to deal with this so please share your thoughts/experiences.

Thanks in advance.

[Heyyu]

AZN Man, you're Japanese? But I agree with you that you should date or marry whomever the hell you want since you're the one that has to live with the person.

However, with that said... J-girls aren't a bad way to go in terms of Asian girls. If your father wants you to meet more pretty Japanese females, I see nothing wrong with that.

[kwak76]

I realize life is too short to worry about the small things. Do what's right for you. I think most Asian parents wants their kids to marry within the same ethnic back ground. I know my family wants that for me and to be honest if I become a father I would want the same for my kids.

It's one thing if your parents have the expectation of you to marry within and another thing that they may want you to move back to the motherland. That's like starting a whole new life. If life is good here for you do what's right if not if I was in your shoes I may consider what they are saying.

[Scowl]

Hey, aren't you half-Japanese and half-Chinese? Or something?

I am wondering why my supposed liberal parents all of a sudden dropped the J-Bomb on me since neither of my siblings had to endure it. I suspect it may be an ethnic pride thing as both my siblings married Whites.

Ouch. I can sympathize. If I were them, of course I'd want my kids to marry who they want and be happy, but still..... gimme at least one!!!

[Candide]

Why don't you frankly ask them those very questions? if you're not interested in their "advices" on your dating life, just tell them so. I did just that, and my parents got the idea eventually. I'm the eldest son in the family and am in a long line of eldest sons in the family tree (i.e my father, grandfather, great-grandfather etc. are/were all eldest sons in the family). None had ever dated or married outside of our ethnicity (Viet) before. Imagine the pressure. ;) Well, I don't pay any attention to it.

[Vahz]

Being an only Asian son, my parents would strongly encourage me to marry Asian. However, they understand that I'm an American and the possibility of marrying a white girl is very high considering that's who I mostly dated since I've been out of high school.

Interestingly enough, I'm Chinese and they would prefer she be Chinese as well but the preference isn't that high at all. They wouldn't mind Asian non-Chinese daughter-in-law. That's good considering 3 of my male cousins married Korean women.

[Ike]

I think you should give it a chance, since you don't already have someone in mind. You might meet someone you really click with, and your parents will be happy that she's Japanese.

Since both your siblings married whites, maybe your parents are looking for a daughter in law that they can communicate with better?

[minbo]

My parents would prefer me to have a relationship with someone from "within the ethnicity/culture" but they value intelligence, education and material success higher. IE, they would rather that I was with a smart, educated successful woman of any ethnicity in a prestigious profession over an average Asian woman in a dead end job. Being rich is a close runner up qualification. Preference for ethnicity falls behind those.

[blockthebox]

AznMan - Unless you fall madly in love with a hot, rich white girl, do yourself and your family a favor by marrying another asian. And hey, if you really wanna stick it to them, go for a Korean girl.

ETA: I just realized your post didn't have anything to do with white girls. Praise Allah. But my advice is still good. Marry someone hot and rich regardless of asian ethnicity. To piss parents off --> marry Korean.

[Scowl]

Personally, no one in my family has ever voiced a strong opinion on who I should marry. The only one who has said anything about it is my mom; she says I need someone who doesn't look too good, who doesn't like to party, and who isn't more intelligent than I am.

[blockthebox]

I’m curious to know how many peeps here have parents that are culturally/ethnically restricting concerning your choice for a marriage partner? Japanese/Japanese, Chinese/Chinese, Korean/Korean, etc. To me my own happiness supercedes someone else’s happiness so I’m not particularly in a caring mood about the strictness right now, but I am wondering why my supposed liberal parents all of a sudden dropped the J-Bomb on me since neither of my siblings had to endure it. I suspect it may be an ethnic pride thing as both my siblings married Whites.

I know I’m not the only one here that’s had to deal with this so please share your thoughts/experiences.

Thanks in advance.

Ok, so in all seriousness and to give you some perspective on the matter, my parents prefer Korean cuz that K-pride is crazy strong for us. After that it's other asian > some type of human person.

[Ike]

Personally, no one in my family has ever voiced a strong opinion on who I should marry. The only one who has said anything about it is my mom; she says I need someone who doesn't look too good, who doesn't like to party, and who isn't more intelligent than I am.

Haha. My mom told me not to marry a handsome guy because then he'll cheat on me.

[AZN MAN]

Thx for the responses!

Hey, aren't you half-Japanese and half-Chinese? Or something?
Mongolians have the memories of elephants? My Dad is a 3rd Gen ABC who went to Japan at the age of 19. Other than his siblings (None speak Canto) and their families who all live in the U.S., he has no ties to China or Chinese speakers. He has no desire to visit or live in China, and has grown weary of the U.S. He really misses living in Aomori where my Mother was born and raised.

Why don't you frankly ask them those very questions? if you're not interested in their "advices" on your dating life, just tell them so.
I tried; my Mother responded by telling me she was tired and hung up the phone ...

Since both your siblings married whites, maybe your parents are looking for a daughter in law that they can communicate with better?I think they want a grandchild that's firstly full Asian blood, and secondly culturally identifies with being Japanese. Now I know my Dad is an ABC, but he seems to identify himself with being Chinese by ethnicity only. He's culturally American first, Japanese second.

My parents would prefer me to have a relationship with someone from "within the ethnicity/culture" but they value intelligence, education and material success higher. IE, they would rather that I was with a smart, educated successful woman of any ethnicity in a prestigious profession over an average Asian woman in a dead end job. Being rich is a close runner up qualification. Preference for ethnicity falls behind those.My parents values those traits as well, but they also want her to be Japanese.

AznMan - Unless you fall madly in love with a hot, rich white girl, do yourself and your family a favor by marrying another asian. And hey, if you really wanna stick it to them, go for a Korean girl.

ETA: I just realized your post didn't have anything to do with white girls. Praise Allah. But my advice is still good. Marry someone hot and rich regardless of asian ethnicity. To piss parents off --> marry Korean.
BTB, you is funny. For good measure, I went out with several K-girls this year.

[Heyyu]

My parents would prefer me to have a relationship with someone from "within the ethnicity/culture" but they value intelligence, education and material success higher. IE, they would rather that I was with a smart, educated successful woman of any ethnicity in a prestigious profession over an average Asian woman in a dead end job. Being rich is a close runner up qualification. Preference for ethnicity falls behind those.

Um... most rich Asian-American women won't marry another Asian man unless he's also rich. In fact, that's the general rule of Asian women: they'll only marry someone as rich as them or richer. Unless they're white... than they can be an average dude.

But if you're a poor Asian man... tough luck pal.

[minbo]

Um... most rich Asian-American women won't marry another Asian man unless he's also rich. In fact, that's the general rule of Asian women: they'll only marry someone as rich as them or richer. Unless they're white... than they can be an average dude.

But if you're a poor Asian man... tough luck pal.

That's most rich women in general, and most rich guys also. Unless the poor sod is super hot, really famous or accomplished enough to be nationally recognized.

While most of them don't compare net worth to the last cent, a lot of rich people do get a ballpark estimation based upon job, lifestyle and social class. If they get hot and heavy, then all sorts of stuff comes up at the pre-nup stage. Not that I'm anywhere near wealthy enough to be concerned with that stuff, nor am I shacking up with anyone that wealthy, but I have seen it in action. All those fantasies of being a gold-digging house husband shall go unfulfilled.

[Scowl]

Haha. My mom told me not to marry a handsome guy because then he'll cheat on me.

So if you find yourself a pretty boy, you'd better cut his face.

Mongolians have the memories of elephants? My Dad is a 3rd Gen ABC who went to Japan at the age of 19. Other than his siblings (None speak Canto) and their families who all live in the U.S., he has no ties to China or Chinese speakers. He has no desire to visit or live in China, and has grown weary of the U.S. He really misses living in Aomori where my Mother was born and raised.

The reason I asked that is because I thought it was a bit weird for your parents to want you to marry Japanese when one of them is ethnically Chinese. But I guess it makes sense if he's got no Chinese ties.

[DijabutiA]

BTB, you is funny. For good measure, I went out with several K-girls this year.

What she really tryin to say is, you needa find you a girl that can COOK

=D

Baking also qualifies

=D x2

[Noodles]

My parents would love it if I married within our race but I’m sure they wouldn’t hate me if I didn’t. Personally, if I had a choice I would choose someone of my own race but in life you never know who you’re going to fall for.

For your situation, I would tell your parents that you’re looking for a Japanese girl but without them knowing you still go about things your usual way. It would ease their minds and possibly they’ll stop stressing you so much. So I wouldn’t disclose who you’re dating to them unless they’re of your parent’s preference. Sometimes withholding information from your parents will make life easier for everyone.

[tokyolovestory]

I think that's a fairly common attitude amongst most families... Though ultimately, it's your own choice. I'm Japanese and my parents generally just didn't like anyone I dated (only child, etc.). But they were probably *okay* with it because I wasn't dating the races that they found... intolerable. (Yes, they're racist, I can't change them, I'm done trying.) Good luck, though! (I have to tell you, though, if you haven't been to Japan recently... if you're used to American/Americanized women... there's a good possibility it might take some adjustment to get used to super-Japanese Japanese girls.)

[Kuroyama]

AZN good luck with that Japanese thing.

If you were inclined to listen to the advice of a Black guy living in Japan, youd want to listen to the part where he advises you try girls from big cities.

Its been my experience that people in the country have a pretty poor view of Asian ethnicities that are non-Japanese. Or maybe they are just more open with their views about it out here.

In any case, I dont mean to infer that the whole nation is "redneck". Clearly my time here hasnt been all bad. But at the same time, Id advise caution against thinking that Japan will be some kind of haven just because its Japan.

But Im probably not saying anything here your family hasnt already told you.

Good luck.

[nskripchun]

AZN good luck with that Japanese thing.

If you were inclined to listen to the advice of a Black guy living in Japan, youd want to listen to the part where he advises you try girls from big cities.

Its been my experience that people in the country have a pretty poor view of Asian ethnicities that are non-Japanese. Or maybe they are just more open with their views about it out here.

In any case, I dont mean to infer that the whole nation is "redneck". Clearly my time here hasnt been all bad. But at the same time, Id advise caution against thinking that Japan will be some kind of haven just because its Japan.

But Im probably not saying anything here your family hasnt already told you.

Good luck.

My 2 cents:

Kansai girls > Kanto girls

;)

[PhoenixRisen]

I totally understand that parents want whats best for thier kids but I think everyone has to think about how ultimately they are going to end up with this person. In most instances parents die before their children and now that your parents have lived their lives and will probably be going to the great beyond before you, you have to live your life. And you shouldn't shortchange yourself by having to live the life someone else wanted for you long after they are gone.

[kwak76]

You should live your own life but I don't see how it could hurt going back to Japan for a year or two. You never know it maybe positive experience for you.

[AZN MAN]

^ Kansai, Kanto, don't matter ...

Interestingly enough, I met a Viet woman and she's dealing with the same situation except her parents are much more extreme than mine. I should feel fortunate but again I'll ultimately do what makes me happy first. I understand that they want to see me happy, but part of it is old Japanese tradition that at times I find smothering, but I understand it. My Mother told me that when I go back to Japan she'll be more than happy to accompany me ... guess where that statement is leading ...


Ike, you mentioned communication; I'm positive that my parents would be overjoyed at having a daughter-in-law who knows the culture and language.


Kuro-San,

Interesting that you'd mention the 'country redneck' view and I can see its parallels to the U.S., however I experienced none of that while I was in small towns. In fact, in my Mother's hometown in Aomori I met a very beautiful woman and she had no problem with me. Also, I spoke with several people in Himeji and they politely inquired as to when I might visit there again.

[AmAznGuy]

Hi

Not sure if it's been explained but if you don't mind what's a 3rd Gen ABC never heard of that?

And also I have a feeling your parents are as you say looking for you to have children who full Japanese/Asian and not really like your siblings.

Ultimately its a matter of whom you'd like to spend the rest of your life with and who will make you happy.

In a way I agree with "Kuroyama" on Japan

Any way good luck...

[Scowl]

Not sure if it's been explained but if you don't mind what's a 3rd Gen ABC never heard of that?

1st generation immigrants = most of our FOB parents who came from Asia
2nd generation = the FOB parents' banana kids who are born in the US
3rd generation = the next wave of twinkies with extra cream filling

ABC = American Born Chinese

[nskripchun]

1st generation immigrants = most of our FOB parents who came from Asia
2nd generation = the FOB parents' banana kids who are born in the US
3rd generation = the next wave of twinkies with extra cream filling

ABC = American Born Chinese

4th generation = twinkie with extra cream filling + frosting

[Vahz]

I've never seen a 3rd generation Asian American before.

[little mixed girl]

I've never seen a 3rd generation Asian American before.

they're like unicorns....

[AmAznGuy]

1st generation immigrants = most of our FOB parents who came from Asia
2nd generation = the FOB parents' banana kids who are born in the US
3rd generation = the next wave of twinkies with extra cream filling

ABC = American Born Chinese

Oh OK Thanks - wasn't sure of the acronym(s) there are way to many to remember...

[AmAznGuy]

I've never seen a 3rd generation Asian American before.

I am as close as it gets to a 3rd GAA :eek:

[nightshade]

I've never seen a 3rd generation Asian American before.

One of my friends dated a fifth generation Chinese American. He kept telling her, "Wow, my grandmother would be so proud of me, dating a Chinese American girl." Yeah, he had some issues even though he was keeping it real.

[jaehwan]

I've never seen a 3rd generation Asian American before.

I'm 4th, but my dad is a 3rd gen.

[AZN MAN]

Recently my Mother told me that she'd introduce me to a Taiwanese woman if I wanted. This came up after countless discussions when I told her that the Japanese population in So CA is dwindling, and the reality is that I meet many more Chinese, Koreans, Filipinos, and lately Vietnamese.

I thought she was softening her stance, but of course she went right back to asking me when I'm going back to Japan ...

(I have to tell you, though, if you haven't been to Japan recently... if you're used to American/Americanized women... there's a good possibility it might take some adjustment to get used to super-Japanese Japanese girls.)
That didn't seem to be a problem.

However, when I go to Japan my family and relatives will expect me to exercise proper conduct; you know - that Japanese tradition of 'face'. An example of this was when my Mother and relatives ordered me not to engage with 'groupies' (At the time I was thinking of moving there to play in a band) because it would reflect very poorly on the family. I'm curious, when you visit Japan, are you expected to conduct yourself accordingly?

[Kuroyama]

AZN

Being Black over here is obviously no picnic. I never expected it to be. Most of that comes form living in the country. Farms. Fisheries. The like. I live reasonably close to "downtown", but every weekend you get peeps coming down from the mountains who have never seen a Black person. Open mouthed stares are common. People tend to be dismissive until they find out I speak the language. At that point I go from being someone you might avoid to being an object of curiosity (this depends on your sex, age, and prior experience with "gaijin").

I dont think there was ever any family expectation made on my behavior here, but I do know that people talk. A lot. Just about any movement I make or any place I go gets relayed somehow back to the family.

As an Asian American over here? Ive got a 3G buddy who came back here a few times. We met in the same Japanese class in college. My Japanese improved, his did not. Ive met his Mom who gave him a hard time about this. Ive also met another 3G guy who (in a shopping mall) busted me out speaking JP on the cell phone. Or, I should say, his Mom busted me. She also gave her son a hard time about it. Hitting him. Though it wasnt said aloud I think the implication was there: "Look! This BLACK guy learned the language! Why cant/dont you??" I dont know if that sentiment would be echoed by family back here (without the Black guy of course).

As far as getting flack for not understanding "traditional customs"... from my experience, and the explanations Ive gotten here, most younger Japanese and some older, dont fully understand them anyway. I think Ive always been my own greatest pressure to learn them. I think because people always flip out over how much I know, it burns me to the core when I mess something up and get a pass because Im not Japanese. Or should say, because I dont LOOK Japanese. If you were AA right or wrong you might catch more flack, because you look the part.

If you do go, itd be great if youd share your experiences.

[Siegfried]

AZN

Being Black over here is obviously no picnic. I never expected it to be. Most of that comes form living in the country. Farms. Fisheries. The like. I live reasonably close to "downtown", but every weekend you get peeps coming down from the mountains who have never seen a Black person. Open mouthed stares are common. People tend to be dismissive until they find out I speak the language. At that point I go from being someone you might avoid to being an object of curiosity (this depends on your sex, age, and prior experience with "gaijin").

I dont think there was ever any family expectation made on my behavior here, but I do know that people talk. A lot. Just about any movement I make or any place I go gets relayed somehow back to the family.

As an Asian American over here? Ive got a 3G buddy who came back here a few times. We met in the same Japanese class in college. My Japanese improved, his did not. Ive met his Mom who gave him a hard time about this. Ive also met another 3G guy who (in a shopping mall) busted me out speaking JP on the cell phone. Or, I should say, his Mom busted me. She also gave her son a hard time about it. Hitting him. Though it wasnt said aloud I think the implication was there: "Look! This BLACK guy learned the language! Why cant/dont you??" I dont know if that sentiment would be echoed by family back here (without the Black guy of course).

As far as getting flack for not understanding "traditional customs"... from my experience, and the explanations Ive gotten here, most younger Japanese and some older, dont fully understand them anyway. I think Ive always been my own greatest pressure to learn them. I think because people always flip out over how much I know, it burns me to the core when I mess something up and get a pass because Im not Japanese. Or should say, because I dont LOOK Japanese. If you were AA right or wrong you might catch more flack, because you look the part.

If you do go, itd be great if youd share your experiences.

Kuroyama, I've been reading your post and been wondering about something.
I hope you don't get offended by this, but you said that you are black. So why is a black man here with a Japanese name on this fourm? And why are you in Japan with a population virtually no black people?
I'm just curious.

[tokyolovestory]

I'm curious, when you visit Japan, are you expected to conduct yourself accordingly?

Yes. But it's second nature to me, because I was raised by a pretty old school Japanese set of parents. :p

[Kuroyama]

Sigfried

Not offended. Ive been speaking Japanese for about 17 years now. If you were to ever meet me and understood what the two words Kuro and Yama meant... youd be hard pressed to find a more appropriate name. Given that Kuroyama works as a single name it also works as a good sign in name. Go to a website and see if you cant use Kuroyama because its already been taken... it likely hasnt.

I come to 44s because although Im not Asian, many racial issues affecting the many Asian races also affect Blacks, and vice versa.

Quid pro quo Sig:

Why is a white man here in a forum that largely discusses issues affecting people of color?

Why is a white man asking a Black man why he would go to a webforum to discuss issues affecting people of color?

No offense intended, of course. I answered your questions... will you answer mine?

[Siegfried]

Take it easy bro, I meant no disrespect. You have the right to here just like me or anyone else. I have no problem with you on this board or any other.

Why am I here? I have a son who is half Asian, and I'm going to do everything in my power to expose him to different Asian point of views so that he can know which to avoid and which to cling to.
One point I have to disagree with you on, Asian and the black experiences are two different animals. Asians don’t have the high drop out rate or murder rate that is predominate in the black community, nor do they have a high unwed parent population. This not to say that blacks aren't successful.
Yes, Asian are people of color but they are also highly successful.

[kwak76]

Sieg,

oh Seig.....I don't know where to start with your last comment. There is some difference between the black American experience and the Asian American experience but..I'm going to keep my mouth shut because I sense a hail storm coming.

[kimtae]

To quote the elephant man, "I am not an animal!" Got that you dumbfuck piece of shit CRACKKKA ASS Sieg Heil mother fucker? Your kid is in for a world of issues with a retard for a daddy like you. I pity him. Now be gone.

[Kuroyama]

Sig

My advice to you is to read more. Understand why exactly it is that such (apparently to you) disparate cultures such as those of an Asian and Black base can have such similar social issues around the world, but particularly in North America.

Before you even look at this child of yours again, or attempt to make further contact with the woman that gave birth to him. Its in everyones best interest, and will help you to understand the forthcoming treatment I anticipate youll be receiving.

Good luck.

[nskripchun]

Take it easy bro, I meant no disrespect. You have the right to here just like me or anyone else. I have no problem with you on this board or any other.

Why am I here? I have a son who is half Asian, and I'm going to do everything in my power to expose him to different Asian point of views so that he can know which to avoid and which to cling to.
One point I have to disagree with you on, Asian and the black experiences are two different animals. Asians don’t have the high drop out rate or murder rate that is predominate in the black community, nor do they have a high unwed parent population. This not to say that blacks aren't successful.
Yes, Asian are people of color but they are also highly successful.

alright, who's smurfing?

[DijabutiA]

Why am I here? I have a son who is half Asian, and I'm going to do everything in my power to expose him to different Asian point of views so that he can know which to avoid and which to cling to.

So, your not Asian but somehow you know what "asian" viewpoints to pick?

One point I have to disagree with you on, Asian and the black experiences are two different animals.

LOL, so you're an expert on black people huh?

Asians don’t have the high drop out rate or murder rate that is predominate in the black community, nor do they have a high unwed parent population.

So which asians? And which black people?

[tokyolovestory]

One point I have to disagree with you on, Asian and the black experiences are two different animals. Asians don’t have the high drop out rate or murder rate that is predominate in the black community, nor do they have a high unwed parent population. This not to say that blacks aren't successful.
Yes, Asian are people of color but they are also highly successful.

Oh boy... Really? Really, Siegfried? Were you rational when you wrote this?

See, these are the social issues that "people of color" face in the U.S. from Caucasians. Stereotypes. Whether they are supposedly "good" or bad, they are still stereotypes and ultimately damage the community. I think that's what Kuroyama was trying to make clear to you. Is it that hard to figure out? You just walked straight into it without even seeing it.

Black people are stereotyped (from your point of view) as uneducated (drop outs) criminals (murderers), and irresponsible (unwed parents, etc.) to boot. Oh, but not necessarily unsuccessful (token platitude to try to dispel the idea that you're racist). Asians are stereotyped as... "colored" BUT still "successful." Oh please. :rolleyes:

[Scowl]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdbWr9XeRP8&feature=related

[AZN MAN]

Wow - an intraracial thread became an interracial one ...

Kuro San (And anybody else who wants to read this),

I'll give you some experiences on my last trip. My flight to Japan was dominated by Japanese Nationals with some Japanese Americans sprinkled in. Because my fashion and hairstyle are more Japanese than American, when I walked through Narita the Nationals openly stared at the Japanese Americans yet I was able to walk through unnoticed.

For the entire duration of the trip, nobody looked at me as a foreigner because of the fashion; I only received the giggles when I spoke. "Oh, you're American; you speak old-fashioned and have an American accent!" Another funny language experience was that I asked several young Japanese if they spoke English; all of them replied that they spoke a little. However, none of them spoke any English after that. I was glad that I could understand them.

Also, I performed at a club in Nagoya while I was there. I played a set of tunes solo and performed a Beatles tune with the house band. This was all impromptu; I had no idea that I'd be playing otherwise I'd have pics ...

[kikiandlala]

Take it easy bro, I meant no disrespect. You have the right to here just like me or anyone else. I have no problem with you on this board or any other.

Why am I here? I have a son who is half Asian, and I'm going to do everything in my power to expose him to different Asian point of views so that he can know which to avoid and which to cling to.
One point I have to disagree with you on, Asian and the black experiences are two different animals. Asians don’t have the high drop out rate or murder rate that is predominate in the black community, nor do they have a high unwed parent population. This not to say that blacks aren't successful.
Yes, Asian are people of color but they are also highly successful.


Man, I wish I saw this earlier, but as my friend said once to an ignorant salesman "Excuse me!! Do you go around calling every black man, your brotha?"

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you're ignorant rather than
malicious. But your own assumptions have made an ASS out of you.

The drop out rate of Blacks is only 11% as of 2001 and high murder rates happen in any community where there are "disorganized" criminal associations contesting power over territory. Chicago of the '20s was an urban warzone and it was a duke-out between Irish and Italian groups, until there was a resolved conflict where winner took all. Crime rates have been consistently dropping in most black communities, but the media takes things out of context and give little mention at the great strides made over 2 decades time. And as for successful Asians, only certain ethnic groups - the Hmong and various Southeast Asian groups are still screwed in the USA and they were US allies during the Vietnam War.

PS: People in Japan are typically WTF when they hear of 26 year old men watching anime.