Interracial dating and interethnic dating

[Ike]

I managed to get a ranking from my family the other day about what races and ethnicities were acceptable for marriage.

1. Chinese
2. White
3. Korean*
4. Vietnamese*
5. Indian*
6. Latino
999. Japanese
1000. Black
*those were pretty close

It was interesting that White ranked above the other Asian ethnicities. Indians were a no until my dad brought up that "they have a lot of money". I'll never forget the disgusted look on my grandmother's face as she discussed Black and Japanese people. And through it all, they kept insisting that the most important thing was my own happiness.

My parents immigrated to the US in their mid-20's. I think this nationalistic mentality could be preventing many pan-Asian relationships. I still don't understand why they would prefer a White son-in-law.

[vsoy]

If you're ethnic Chinese but from Taiwan, then there's the whole Taiwanese vs mainland, north/south etc. You can just drive yourself crazy with all the other requirements for perfect boy to bring home. As for white ranking higher than other Asians, it's all about white males being in control of the world.

My mom wanted multiple picture copies of one my gay AM best friend who was just a mess of tears while on the receiving line after the wedding ceremony to show to her friends. I interpret it as, my daughter is not a complete loser, at least someone is distraught over this. I don't think she realized that my friend was gay, even when we dated briefly in high school and his tears were of joy and emotion.

[Ike]

Yeah, I also asked how they felt about me marrying a Taiwanese nationalist, and they laughed and asked me how I knew about politics and Taiwan. Didn't get a straight answer there.

[DONKEY]

i dont care about my parents ranking. but i would prefer to marry a Chinese.
but whatever happens.. if they dont approve, ill just tell them they can never visit the grandchildren.

[Anansasem]

Hmm, for some reason, I feel as offended by the Japanese part as I did for the 'black.' What of those multiracial?

Also, where does this enmity for the Japanese come from? Was it from your grandparents experiences during and after the Japanese incursion of WWII?

No offense to you, though I find your family unacceptable.

[PhoenixRisen]

that is hilarious. I feel like chanting "We're number 1 thousand, We're number 1 thousand"

But damn I do feel bad for the japanese having to be way down there with us.

[nekohead]

My family would NEVER want me to have married a White man. But, I do have White and all races of friends. I have to go along with my family's thoughts on who to NOT marry. Family does know best in a load of cases. I got rid of a few guys because of them.

[Vahz]

My parents are actually pretty easy going as long as the girl is a nice catch. To prove how easy going they are, they never cared I was dating a black girl at some point.

To be honest though, they would prefer for me to marry an East Asian, then any Asian, then white/Latina/black. It's worthwhile to note that they rank blacks and Latinas on the same level as black which is normally not the case with Asian parents.

It gives off an idea of your spouse is either Asian or they're not.

[Anansasem]

Aside from the Hmong, I feel that same aversion and contempt from most Asians that I do from 'whites.' A few years ago I would get in their faces asking if they had a problem. That'd mostly be the end of it, though they probably left with their stereotypical perceptions reaffirmed.

[Ike]

Hmm, for some reason, I feel as offended by the Japanese part as I did for the 'black.' What of those multiracial?

Also, where does this enmity for the Japanese come from? Was it from your grandparents experiences during and after the Japanese incursion of WWII?

No offense to you, though I find your family unacceptable.

I don't think they'd be all too happy if I brought you home. I was pretty offended by their responses. I don't know exactly what the Japanese did to them, but my grandparents did flee China and go to Taiwan during WWII. I know that Blacks have done nothing to my family, though.

Ana, if you were a girl, you'd be the worst person I could possibly present to my parents as the love of my life. =)

Edit: My family hates gay people as well. We're such great Texans... =(

[misunderstood.]

Hmm, for some reason, I feel as offended by the Japanese part as I did for the 'black.' What of those multiracial?

Also, where does this enmity for the Japanese come from? Was it from your grandparents experiences during and after the Japanese incursion of WWII?

No offense to you, though I find your family unacceptable.

Same here...:(
I'm SO thankful that my family isn't like that...again, no offense to you.

[Candide]

If you ask your family (or any random group of people you know) about who you should marry, you'll always be shocked of or unhappy about the results anyway. Just leave them out of it.

I've never asked my parents that question, although they keep telling me that as long as I'm happy with the person I'm with, they're fine with it. I love my parents, but I don't need (and don't want to know) their opinion on which type I should marry. Whenever they (or other relatives) try to bring the subject up, I shoot it down and change the topic.

[Ike]

Curiosity killed the cat... or at least part of my bubble.

[butterflyring09]

I still don't understand why they would prefer a White son-in-law.

Well, it seems the reasons that most ethnicities would prefer a white son or daughter in law over many other ethnicities is because of a mentality developed from colonialism. If you notice, Europeans have basically colonized the world, spreading their Western ideas and ideals to all of the countries they colonize. The people who have been colonized by these Westerners have tendency to adopt these Western ideas/ideals. Fair skin, blue eyes, blonde hair, straight hair, thin figure, etc... Subconsciously, White/caucasian people are looked at as the ideal figure. The most cleanest and purest anyone could ever be. Why? This can be traced back hundreds of years where Europeans actually ranked their group as the highest of all groups. After that was Asians (but they were judged as smart but docile), and what do you think was last? The very opposite of White. Black (judged as lazy and unintelligent.) This very idea, though not voiced, is still believed by many. Why? How? Media. Mass Communication. Who is mainly controlling this mass communication? Well, you guys should take a look at the people who are in control the mass media and see what ethnicities they are. Things are changing. But, when my Japanese friend tells me, "You're black, you should know how to sing and dance!" I can tell there are still are a lot of things that have not yet changed and there are a lot of minds that need changing.
Of course people from say, a Chinese ethnicity/Japanese etc etc, are going to prefer their own first over foreigners. But if they had to choose someone out of their own ethnicity, would it not usually be White for the reasons stated above?

[Ike]

Butterfly, you're right. I just didn't want to accept that the usual theory applied to my family.

We saw a hobo crossing the street today, and my sister pointed out that the guy was Asian. My mom got all defensive and said, "That guy's black, how could you mistake him for being Asian?" Turns out the guy was Asian.

[DONKEY]

lol ive been through that with my dad before.
"some homeless chinese guy broke into the restaurant."
"he wasn't chinese."
"no he really was.. i saw his name on the police report."
"it's a mistake.. he's korean or vietnamese. not chinese."
"ok...."