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lycheng
Jul 20th, 2007, 02:58 PM
As some of you know, I’m one of the older guys here. Since I’m no longer in the dating pool, I think I have a different perspective on the whole dating scene. Actually, it wasn’t that long ago that I was swimming in the deep end of the dating pool. What I found was that it’s a different experience dating in your 20’s and dating in your 30’s or even your 40’s. For men, age actually makes them more attractive,

After comparing notes with my single older women colleagues, I found that despite decades of feminism, there’s still much room for improvement.

1. Many women find older men more attractive.
Yes, the old adage that older men are seen as “mature”, while older women are “old maids” still exist. Sure the younger man/older women parings are growing, but they are a drop in the bucket when compared to older men/ younger women parings.

Somehow society will forgive a man who gained a few inches around the waist. For Older women, society tells them that have to diet and workout to keep their figure. If you don’t believe me, just do a search on the online dating sites for older women. You’ll see a high percentage of them mention that they "work out three or four times a week" in their profile. Do you think all those women are doing that?

How about lines and wrinkles? On guys, they give them character. On women? No comparison there.

How about the so called “MILF” thing? Those MILF women all look like they are 10 if not 20 years younger. They have to have Botox and cosmetic surgery just to maintain their level of desirability.

2. Having a stable and successful career is a desirable trait.
A successful career means steady income and wealth. I don’t’ think I’m generalizing when I say all women love to have their men bring in the dough. It’s a fact that income can compensate for physical attractiveness. And with older men, there’s a multiplying affect going on. Older men, who are already viewed as desirable, mature guys, also tend to have higher income, which further increases their desirability index.

3. Owning a home is a desirable trait.
With income comes the ability to buy a home. This only adds to the desirability index. If you don’t believe me, think about this simple scenario. A younger woman is dating two guys. One guy is a renter and the other guy is a homeowner. She drives to visit her boyfriend. At the renter boyfriends place, she probably has to find a parking spot. If she’s lucky, the renter boyfriend has a visitors spot. If she’s unlucky, she’ll have to find parking on the street. At the homeowner boyfriends house, she probably parks in his two car garage or his drive way. She might not mind parking on the street, but I’ll bet she prefers parking in a garage.

Which population of guys tends to own their own homes? Yep, older guys.

I didn’t even mention that houses tend to have bigger bedrooms, bigger kitchens, and room for expansion. If you don’t think women care about these things – well think again.

So have patience guys – if you can’t find a date in your twenties, just wait a while. You’re desirability factor will surly increase. Can you say the same for your female friends?

Vahz
Jul 20th, 2007, 03:26 PM
Heh. I already have #2 and #3 and also #1 if 28 is old.

lycheng
Jul 20th, 2007, 03:42 PM
Sorry Vahz, but you gotta be at least 38 for #1 to kick in. Can you wait another 10 years?

lycheng
Jul 20th, 2007, 08:46 PM
Okay, I want to apologize to women who might have been offended at what I wrote. My intent was to satirize another dating disparity that no one seems to bring up. The disparity is the much more prevalent older men/younger women pairings versus older women/younger men pairings.

The fact that older men are perceived as being more attractive as they get older, while older women are not is total bullshit, as far as I'm concerned. The fact that women have to undergo surgery just to satisfy this sexist and patriarchal bias in society still exist bothers me a lot.

I don't know about anyone else, but it seems to me, the reason why Asian men complain more about not finding a date versus older women complains is because of male patriarchy. Men should feel saddened that their female counterparts have to be concerned about their looks as they get older.

I think when I brought this up last year, right after I joined this site, Dirac liked what I wrote. That's why I brought it up again, thinking it would be well received by our women readers.

If the mods think I've ended up perpetuating sexist ideas, then feel free to delete this thread.

lycheng

theme
Jul 20th, 2007, 09:34 PM
The fact that older men are perceived as being more attractive as they get older, while older women are not is total bullshit, as far as I'm concerned. The fact that women have to undergo surgery just to satisfy this sexist and patriarchal bias in society still exist bothers me a lot.

Why is that bullshit? You're hinting that it is the younger women who are choosing the older men. If all younger women wanted older guys then of course there would be a disparty in older women/younger guys. Not many women who actually like guys who are younger than themselves and not many guys want women who are that much older them so the disparity is something of a mutual agreement.

DONKEY
Jul 20th, 2007, 10:37 PM
i think its not really aging that makes older women less attractive, its fashion. seems like some older people start wearing clothes that they would not have worn in their 20's or 30's.
either that or they just go out of style. older women can look great without plastic surgery or crazy workout routines if they keep up with fashion and dress for their size (not wearing stuff that would have fitted them 15 years and 20 lbs ago).

lycheng
Jul 21st, 2007, 03:03 AM
Why is that bullshit? You're hinting that it is the younger women who are choosing the older men. If all younger women wanted older guys then of course there would be a disparty in older women/younger guys. Not many women who actually like guys who are younger than themselves and not many guys want women who are that much older them so the disparity is something of a mutual agreement.
You’re totally missing the point. When you say choose, do you really think the choice is independent of societal values?

If Asian American men get to talk about how their emasculated portrayal in the media affects their dating potential, then why can’t older women point to the patriarchal rules of society that say women must make themselves look younger, while men don’t have to make themselves look younger?

Media representation for older women lead characters is very poor. How many times have you seen an older male actor (Clint Eastwood, Sean Connery, etc) paired up with women half their age? It’s as if older women (40’s, 50’s, 60’s) in Hollywood movies just don’t exist. It’s really just like the WM/AF parings in the media.

i think its not really aging that makes older women less attractive, its fashion. seems like some older people start wearing clothes that they would not have worn in their 20's or 30's.
either that or they just go out of style. older women can look great without plastic surgery or crazy workout routines if they keep up with fashion and dress for their size (not wearing stuff that would have fitted them 15 years and 20 lbs ago).
If aging has nothing to do with older women being perceived as less attractive, then why are there beauty products expressly marketed to make women look younger? Society, specifically male dominated society, seeks a beauty ideal that says young is beautiful, old is ugly. This doesn’t apply to men!

For the record, I totally think society is capable of representing older women in equally as desirable as older men, without having them look young. Age appropriate and fashionable attire certainly plays a role. But much of the problem is changing our perception of what makes a woman attractive.

DONKEY
Jul 21st, 2007, 07:27 PM
OK thats true but sometimes i think people have the wrong priorities when thinking about their attractiveness.
how does pressure to conform to a certain standard manifest?
do they get rude comments from strangers? their mate dumps them? they cant get a date?
i doubt any of these are the case. probably more like they see people in the movies and feel bad because they dont look like them. in that case they should just grow up. its not like ugly people have no place in society. they ARE society because ugly people are the majority.

Ike
Jul 21st, 2007, 10:13 PM
its not like ugly people have no place in society. they ARE society because ugly people are the majority.

Actually, the majority of people I see are more attractive than me.

...Oh damn. =(

lycheng
Jul 22nd, 2007, 03:08 AM
OK thats true but sometimes i think people have the wrong priorities when thinking about their attractiveness.
how does pressure to conform to a certain standard manifest?
do they get rude comments from strangers? their mate dumps them? they cant get a date?
i doubt any of these are the case. probably more like they see people in the movies and feel bad because they dont look like them. in that case they should just grow up. its not like ugly people have no place in society. they ARE society because ugly people are the majority.

Maybe I'm doing a terrible job at explaining my point. Or maybe my comparisons between the older women's dating issues and AM dating issues are completely off base... I don't know. :confused:

What I'm getting at is as men get older, their attractiveness increases. As women get older their attractiveness decreases. Why? Older women just look uglier than older men? Is that really an acceptable answer?

DONKEY
Jul 22nd, 2007, 04:05 AM
oh yeah i mean i get what u were saying.. it all goes back to female attractiveness being about looks and male attractiveness being about money. old dudes got more money and they just become more desirable as they age. and lots of guys like really young girls.
personally tho i dont go for any girl under 25 anymore cuz i dont like babysitting or playing dad.

Candide
Jul 22nd, 2007, 10:28 PM
Men are attracted to women with youth and beauty, women are attracted to men with power and resources. That's dating back to when our ancestors were still grunting and farting in caves and isn't a result of social programming. If anything, it is modern social programming that's making older women more desirable.

Physically, while men reach their height of attractiveness later than women, old men don't become more attractive as they age. As for the standards of physical attractiveness, men and women are physically different (surprise!), hence there are different standards.


How about lines and wrinkles? On guys, they give them character. On women? No comparison there.


Big boobs are attractive on a woman. On a man? No comparison there either, mate.

If you want to blame something for this, blame nature.