Asian Fatness

[kwak76]

There is a cultural standard of difference when it comes to body weight and shape. Typically in Asia what is consider skinny is consider bone thin in Western standard or what is meduim in the West is consider little bit fat in Asia.

The other day I met this Korean American girl for drinks. She came to America when she was 13 years old and can speak fluent Korean. She grew up in Ridgefield , Queens which is predominate black and spainsh neighborhood. She is interested in meeting more Korean people and developing friendship with them. She is also interested in dating a Korean guy.

Most of her current friends are black or spanish and all the past guys she dated were white guys. She said she was never approach by Asian men in the past. As I was walking with her I notice that all the non-Asian guys(mostly Spanish guys) were scoping her out. We met in Flushing , Queens which has allot of Asians but I don't think I saw a single Asian guy even noticing her.

I think part of the reason is that she is built like J-Lo but just add 30 lbs more to you know where and minus her height by 2 inches. She is thick. I'm not saying that Asian men don't find thick women attractive but I don't think it's consider the norm.

I think there are some Asian women who don't fit the ideal look that Asian men are looking for. For some of these Asian women they end up dating /marrying non-Asian men because they are accepted by them. In thinking back a fair portion of Yokojohn I have seen are usually unattractive Asian girls.

To be honest I couldn't picture myself dating her either.

[Ike]

AMs who think they can't get chicks should ask out more fat AFs. CCB problem solved. =)

[Vahz]

Funny you should post this after I just got back from dinner with two friends. We went to a Japanese/Korean place and there were many good looking Asian girls there, both as waitresses and patrons.

I stated "that waitress is pretty damn cute" to which the other two guys I was with stated that she was a bit chubby and proceeded to pick her apart like a rump roast. I'm a "face" person and hers was naturally very good looking and honestly, her body type wasn't chubby, she was normal. Granted, Asian guys aren't all shallow like these friends of mine but I think that many Asian guys want this type of beanpole prissy girl.

I reminded them that Asian women have a serious issue with self-esteem and are constantly plagued with comments about their body size to which they told me that they were tired of my "preaching."

[Ike]

Haha. My little sister is about 5'2" and 120 lbs, and my mom called while we were getting boba tea tonight and started YELLING at her on the phone about how fat she was and how she shouldn't have boba. It's not just shallow guys, it's worried parents too. My mom has this story about how FAT she was in college, and when we calculated out her weight from kilograms to lbs... turns out she was 95 lbs.

My family is NOT NICE when it comes to fatness.

[Vahz]

Ok, that's just mean and wrong.

At any rate, the only thing these two guys were bitching about was that small pouch that many girls have on the abdomen.

If she was toned, they would complain that she's too muscular.

[DijabutiA]

All I gotta say is, girl needa eat something and have some BOOTY.

[angi]

Another female on this site directed me to this thread. She doesn't even want to bother with it. I don't blame her. I don't even want to either. Why should I? This isn't my fight or struggle. But in a way it is because it is a female issue.


You know, I read threads like this and just kind of throw my hands up in the air and figure there is no winning with you guys. This isn't the first thread ripping on Asian women for not being up to "standards."

I'm kind of to the point where I am convinced some of you guys LOVE being single, bitter, hate-filled, have a lot of stock in Nivea and Suave conditioner kind of guys.

Why?

Because I can guarantee that if this so-called thick Asian girl had been with a Black, Hispanic, or White guy who appreciated her thickness, booty bounce, or whatever the hell you want to call it, you all would be calling her a CCB, a sellout whore, etc.

So the girl wants to be "good" by your definition of the game and find an Asian guy...the only problem is that she is now not good enough. So what the hell can this girl do? She is damned either way.

Of course, there is no call for some self-reflection or perhaps a reframing of beauty standards. No, it's the girl's fault for not being a pretty, petite Asian girl (funny, the same standards White boys are derided for desiring in Asian women are the gold standard for Asian men.) So since she doesn't meet your standards, she has to be doomed to sitting at home alone sniffling in her tea or being berated for dating outside of her race because she found someone who appreciates her and her body.


Hmmm.

So much for empathy?


ETA: The other female member and I have a bet riding on this post. I can only hope we lose.

[Pat the Great]

i know plenty of asian american guys who fetishize the same things that white boys do in asian american women, and it's really, really not cool. body size is one of those things.

i'm seeing a girl who has a history of eating disorder these days, and i am always careful to work with her to do whatever it is we have to do (menu research days in advance, careful meal preparation that cuts the oil/butter in half, etc) to help her feel safe with food. it is completely heartbreaking to see someone in distress about that kind of thing.

i will say that the craze for tight jeans doesn't help. all it does is make that little 'muffin top' effect on perfectly normal, healthy women, which only makes them feel bigger, i imagine.

[Ike]

You've made me soooo curious to know what that bet is, so, against my better judgment, I hope you win. =)

[nightshade]

Gee, I just learned from this thread why I'm always single. Fats. Guess I'd better go lose some weight and get under 100 pounds, or I'll forever be a spinster.

[Ike]

You could always date white guys. =P

[Scowl]

Hey kwak, I gotta ask, what was the point of your post? I mean, are you just talking to talk, or are you getting at something?

And who is ripping on anyone here?

[nightshade]

You could always date white guys. =P

I'd rather give up food.

[Dialectic]

I agree with Scowl's assertion.

First, Kwak's post doesn't seem to have a point.

Secondly, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, KWAK ISN'T RIPPING ON ANYONE. He's just saying some depressing shit about, well, everyone.

I'm starting to get kind of irked again (like I did back in the day) at some of the oversensitive shit I'm seeing here. Do we always have to swing on a fucking pendulum back and forth between the oversensitives and crazies?

But y'know what? I've just realized they're kind of the same mindsets, just in different guises.

[JadeDragon]

You know what, Kwak? I'm going to echo what Maogirl said about you before on the boards, and just tell you to take a break from posting here. Enjoy yourself, work, eat, sleep, make time with your girl, and stop wallowing in the IR bullshit and how it gets you down.

You depress people reading your posts and you make all these assertions that piss off the women posting here too. I'm tired of logging on and reading negative threads. You're pissing me off too, which takes A LOT and I've been here since Version 1.0 arguing with the kamikazes.

I want to be supportive, god knows, I have been before. I do care about the AM's problems (after all, my boy has them too), but it's getting hard when all you do is insult Asian women with your remarks.

Just stop posting for a while, until you can say something positive, Kwak.

[evil_FUX]

Well, I think overall it would be healthy for kwak to just stop posting here and not even think about shit like that (working for Tojo right?). But at the same time I think if anything, stuff like this might be the last bit of "craziness" that's fighting to stay alive. I mean you have to admit, he has come a fairly decent way since what, 1.5-2.0? Of course I could be wrong and he's just got way less time to post or I have a shot memory

[JadeDragon]

Yes, I do understand that the militant edge is important for this forum, but seriously now, do you want posters to wallow in that unhealthy atmosphere and basically bring down every discussion into IR battles, or would you prefer that the militant edge be used for something that's productive for each individual?

Constantly saying things like "I saw another IR couple today and that made me sad/Why are Asian women naive whores?" is different from posting "I saw something racist today and I'm going get a campaign started to end this nonsense".

[evil_FUX]

Nah, I'm not disagreeing with that at all. I'm just saying, he appears to be moving forward relative to whatever his pace is. Plus, it could be a lot worse. Dialectic made a good point in that this has been the healthiest these forums have been since they started. This is not to say that the negativity can't or isn't a downer; I mean I've cited him on it before too. But as of late...

[JadeDragon]

Oh, and incidentally, I like my "fat" butt and hips just fine, so all you weird guys who want skinny chicks can suck my metaphorical dick.

[PhoenixRisen]

QUESTION:

So waht are the asian women who are considered fat and appreciate themsleves the way they are supposed to do? Constantly turn down the non asian men it's easier for them to get or stay lonely and chase after an asian man?

This is a touchy subject for me because as an intelligent,non-ghetto,proper english speaking, gainfully empolyed Black woman I have been called out for dating non-black men (mind you black women support black men way more than they support us). But I simply got tired of having to pick through the do-rag wearing,gold tooth sporting, baggy pants wearing, wannabe thug types that are so prevelant in the black community. Finding love is hard enough and having such a small pool of qualified men to pick from pissed me off. These women are going to have a hard enough time finding love but to be further hindered by your own body type basically forces these women to open up the search to non asian men.

[kwak76]

woah ..woah..
didn't know it would come out like this.
I think I wrote this piece as more of an observation and not to put down people and that was not my intention or to be negative.
I guess I didn't explain it well enough. This was not an attack on fat people or trying to get jadedragon piss or be negative.

My observation was that when I was with her most of the non-Asian guys were scoping her out where as the Asian guys were not. I do have a girl friend and when I am with her usually it is the Asian men checking her out because she has more of the look that Asian guys go for. Never notice that difference until that night.

Dialectic and Jadedragon,
I think the purpose of my post is that Asian men ( including myself) are hypocritical at times. I met Asian guys who have such high standard in the Asian girl that they are looking for turn away asian women who end dating non-Asian guys. I think as Asian men we have to check ourselves. And I don't see how this post was being negative and to put people down. More of an observation.

Scowl,
Would I walk the walk ? Maybe if we get to know each other better.

[Scowl]

Scowl,
Would I walk the walk ? Maybe if we get to know each other better.

I was just asking what the point of your post was.

I think the purpose of my post is that Asian men ( including myself) are hypocritical at times. I met Asian guys who have such high standard in the Asian girl that they are looking for turn away asian women who end dating non-Asian guys. I think as Asian men we have to check ourselves.

Haha, do you know how much easier everything would have been if you had just added this part to the original post?

[kwak76]

PhoenixRisen,


"So waht are the asian women who are considered fat and appreciate themsleves the way they are supposed to do? Constantly turn down the non asian men it's easier for them to get or stay lonely and chase after an asian man?"


I imagine in Asian cirlces there are Asian men that go for the big look. I don't see why not but what is so wrong with improving yourself?

I mean let say a geeky looking Asian guy posted here. Some of us will tell him to improve himself by going to the gym, dress better, get a better job and work on his self esteem.

[Vahz]

Though it does make me laugh when others are told to seek out these qualitities they need to change as if it was as easy as going to the corner store and picking up some cereal.

[nightshade]

I imagine in Asian cirlces there are Asian men that go for the big look. I don't see why not but what is so wrong with improving yourself?



This assumes, again, that thin is better. And that a thin Asian girl is better, more correct, somehow more Asian and desirable.

[Scowl]

This assumes, again, that thin is better. And that a thin Asian girl is better, more correct, somehow more Asian and desirable.

Yes, it does. It's certainly a fucked up perception that has existed for a long time. Would you say that this is true for all women across the board, or if there is some other factor at work when it comes to Asian women in particular?

[nightshade]

Yes, it does. It's certainly a fucked up perception that has existed for a long time. Would you say that this is true for all women across the board, or if there is some other factor at work when it comes to Asian women in particular?

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking. Could you elaborate?

[Scowl]

Would you say that, compared to non-Asian women, Asian women have a more harmful/oppressive standard imposed on them?

[Ike]

I would say that Asian women have a thinner standard imposed upon them.

[Vahz]

I agree with Ike.

At least when it comes to Asian guys, I find that what would constitute "normal" for a white girl would be "fat" for an Asian girl. I try to speak up as much as possible when they do stupid shit like this but I get drowned out as being the "militant" Asian guy.

There is no winning at all.

[Dialectic]

woah ..woah..
didn't know it would come out like this.
I think I wrote this piece as more of an observation and not to put down people and that was not my intention or to be negative.
I guess I didn't explain it well enough. This was not an attack on fat people or trying to get jadedragon piss or be negative.

I knew that's what you meant, Kwak. Some other people here took it as insulting, and I know it's hard 'cause it's apparent in your post that you weren't insulting anyone and you weren't intending to.

In my opinion, I think a lot of issues that you have on this board (not actual "issues," like emotional issues or whatever) is that your writing isn't as coherent as some would like, and that leads to mix-ups and big miscommunications, especially with this sort of subject matter.

[kwak76]

Hey D,

I'm really impress with your features and the direaction your trying with this site. Granted I'm not a great writer like you or even the absent SB1. Because of work I can't really sit down and write great articles.

I try to be bit more coherrent in what I want to get across.

[Makulita]

Hey Vahz, question: Are those friends who spout out their manboy foolishness at all ripped? Or, maybe not ripped but at least toned? As a dude, can you at least admit they look attractive?

Because if not you can go ahead and tell them to shut the fuck up, sit down and lern themselves a book because the chicks they want wouldn't look their way in the first place lanky-ass, muscle-less motherfuckers. So there.

And I'm gonna say that its mostly the East Asian dudes that have problems with the womanly fatness chicks like me and apparently Ate Jade have. (Notice 19 words ago I used MOSTLY, so suck it.)

Southeast Asian guys, especially the Filipino dudes in my area seem to be digging that puto-plump, suman-squishy physique a majority of us have down here. I dunno about South Asian guys, but I recall seeing that it was considered "sexy" and "womanly" to have a little bit of a muffin top peeking out of your sari.

The other part that I didn't bother to see if anyone addressed yet is that the fat chicks guys seem to not notice are those sloppily fat chicks. Otherwise known as the chicks who're fat all over the place, instead of those chicks who seem to retain a semblance of their figure despite the fats.

---

As for myself and my womanly fatnesses, I'm never gonna back away from Asian men, even when I do find white, black, latino dudes hot it usually looks like they got some rice in their blood anyway. And to shove it to the naysayers, I still ninja check some dudes looking at me, even some Korean guys who've been infiltrating my local mall with their Against All Odds jackets, colorful pumas and perfectly quaffed hair.

I realized long time ago when I was in those awkward teenage-foolishness stages that I wasn't ever gonna achieve that sort of shapeless-skinny that would've worked best with the outfits I tried to rock. So instead I bucked up and learned to rock my fats instead, and its okay. I'm also a little biased because from what I've been told I got that sweet face aunties and uncles love to pinch and go "Akala ko 16 na lang!" and I use that like a fucking sledgehammer to your kneecaps. The fats just encourage this sort of thinking looks like.

EDIT: Sidenote: I miss Kuya sb1.

[kwak76]

There are some female posters that got offended by this piece. That was not my intention. Nor was my piece about being negative or just complaining.

I guess I wrote this piece because I never really paid attention to it until I hunged out with my new friend. I always saw it from an Asian guy perspective but not from an Asian woman perspective.

There are some Asian women who are interested in dating Asian guys but because some Asian men have this high superficial standard some Asian women lose out. Some of these Asian women end up dating/marrying non-Asian men because they get more appreciation from them. Who's fault is this? Asian men for being too superficial.

Now before people misjudge me again I'm not saying ALL Asian men are like this but it is typical in the Asian circles that we do have this really retarded standard of beauty. I don't think this is female bashing but more for Asian men to check themselves.

I have one friend who is really picky with the girls he goes out with. His Chinese American and is only 5'5 with average built but wants Ms. Chinese Universe by his side. His still single to this day. He thinks there is something wrong with the girls but in reality he has himself to blame for being single and too superficial. But if you really think about we all do it to a degree.

[theme]

I think it takes a lot to piss off the Asian female members Kwak. I can't speak for them but I think it's your general attitude and the incessant posts that passive-aggressively deride them. If I thought it was this singular thread that set them off I would say they were over-reacting but I think it's more of your attitude than anything else.

[Ike]

The Chinese American guys who are in my (extended) circle of friends are all into really skinny chicks. The guys themselves are not too bad looking - some are on the skinny side, but they all seem to work out and care about their appearances.

The thing that creeps me out, though, is that they all seem like clones of each other. The girls do their hair and makeup the exact same way and dress in clothes from the same three stores. They're very Stepford-wives-type pretty. And the guys all share the same taste in girls.

I blame it on upper-middle-class suburbia.

[nightshade]

Would you say that, compared to non-Asian women, Asian women have a more harmful/oppressive standard imposed on them?

I don't think so. Shit is fucked up across the board when it comes to how a woman looks.

I've always been lucky to have rad parents, so maybe this is why I don't feel fazed when it comes to beauty standards--granted, my mom spent most of her time telling me that being pretty was a useless thing and getting an education was much more important. Thank god, or I might have done something retarded like compete to be Miss Hong Kong. Unfortunately, this means that I've become a professional student.

[Scowl]

I've always been lucky to have rad parents, so maybe this is why I don't feel fazed when it comes to beauty standards--granted, my mom spent most of her time telling me that being pretty was a useless thing and getting an education was much more important.

If you don't mind me asking, are your parents first generation immigrants?

[DONKEY]

this isnt really about obesity or weight issues. its the same old beauty issue that exists in every culture. because society demands that males provide material things and security, males demand that females provide beauty. so lots of guys will think they can criticize any woman for being too fat, too skinny, too whatever no matter how their own body looks. really i think male beauty is a new concept to a lot of people still. its generally not expected that guys will work on their looks unless they are being groomed for sex acts for older or more powerful men.
yeah it sucks for women and theres not much that can be done about it, except for maybe more women to criticize men on their looks.

but with the fat stuff.. ive never met a heavy girl in america who couldnt get a date. i think a woman has to have a really bad personality to repel males here. but even then it's usually not enough to keep some away.
im ambivalent about the "fat positive" stuff going around because i think there should be a line drawn between "ok this is normal and not really unhealthy" and "this is a danger to peoples health and will result in pain, misery, and death no matter how much society accepts it"

[Dialectic]

To bring things back to kwak's original post and hopefully try to clear things up, this is how I interpret what he said:

Title:
"Asian Fatness"

Yeah, that's not an attractive title and sounds kinda distasteful. It is, however, the subject matter. Obesity in Asians. We also know Kwak's written English is not the best, and he does not know how to convey tone.

"There is a cultural standard of difference when it comes to body weight and shape. Typically in Asia what is consider skinny is consider bone thin in Western standard or what is meduim in the West is consider little bit fat in Asia."

An observation, and a true one.

"The other day I met this Korean American girl for drinks. She came to America when she was 13 years old and can speak fluent Korean. She grew up in Ridgefield , Queens which is predominate black and spainsh neighborhood. She is interested in meeting more Korean people and developing friendship with them. She is also interested in dating a Korean guy."

Observations on this woman. Nothing offensive here.

"Most of her current friends are black or spanish and all the past guys she dated were white guys. She said she was never approach by Asian men in the past. As I was walking with her I notice that all the non-Asian guys(mostly Spanish guys) were scoping her out. We met in Flushing , Queens which has allot of Asians but I don't think I saw a single Asian guy even noticing her."

Observations again. A mildly critical tone toward ASIAN GUYS.

"I think part of the reason is that she is built like J-Lo but just add 30 lbs more to you know where and minus her height by 2 inches. She is thick. I'm not saying that Asian men don't find thick women attractive but I don't think it's consider the norm."

Again, not the best written, but what's he saying? He's saying she's "thicker" than the Asian norm. I'm sorry, but I don't see a rip. My sister knows she's "thicker" than the Asian norm. My sister also knows that lots of Black guys hit on her and not that many Asians. And this is without my insidious influence or observations; she's told this to me, with no prompting from me.

And again, he's making an observation on the tastes of Asian men. These seem to be generally true.

"I think there are some Asian women who don't fit the ideal look that Asian men are looking for. For some of these Asian women they end up dating /marrying non-Asian men because they are accepted by them. In thinking back a fair portion of Yokojohn I have seen are usually unattractive Asian girls.

"To be honest I couldn't picture myself dating her either."

Again, not the best written, and I don't like the term "Yokojohn," but hey, Yoko Ono and John Lennon were a famous WM/AF couple. And he's saying he hasn't been attracted to these women, and he understands the "plight" or whatever word you want to use, these women have, even though he's said the stuff in a not so great way.

What I see is mostly a criticism of Asian men for being closed-minded toward beauty and body types, and lamenting the position of Asian woman who are hurt by that closed-mindedness, and saying that he himself is not immune to these patterns.

I think that's a fair interpretation.

Is this all that different from telling an Asian male that an Asian woman can't help it, she's just not attracted to us, and to accept her as she is?

I understand why women could be upset with this post, and I don't judge or dictate feelings. If someone feels hurt or betrayed, then s/he feels hurt or betrayed.

But I don't think attacking him, accusing him of ripping on Asian women, and then saying that that false projected image (that he's ripping on women) is a reflection of the forum, as some have suggested to me, I don't think that's fair.

Hey, Kwak's pissed me off, too, for reasons described by people above. But to assign a malicious intent to him? That's not fair at all.

[PhoenixRisen]

You all make excellent points. When my cousins and I would walk through the mall and they would see a black guy with a white girl they would say he needs a tylenol cause' he's got a fever. Jungle fever. That annoyed me to no end because usually when I would ask them if they were jealous their reply was Hell no. Well shut the hell up because he's finally found someone who wanted him. Same for these women. This may not make sense to some or even be that politically correct but hell i say "get in where you fit in".
In high school I knew twin brothers, black, and one one all urban and the other was a totaly dude skateboarder type. He hung out with a bunch of white boys and sounded just like one of them. We didn't give him any flack because he wasn't into the same things as us anyway. It's not like we didn't like him but It would've totally screwed up of us to give him crap for finding a group that did want him.

[nightshade]

If you don't mind me asking, are your parents first generation immigrants?

Is it that obvious?

[maogirl]

this isnt really about obesity or weight issues. its the same old beauty issue that exists in every culture. because society demands that males provide material things and security, males demand that females provide beauty. so lots of guys will think they can criticize any woman for being too fat, too skinny, too whatever no matter how their own body looks. really i think male beauty is a new concept to a lot of people still. its generally not expected that guys will work on their looks unless they are being groomed for sex acts for older or more powerful men.
yeah it sucks for women and theres not much that can be done about it, except for maybe more women to criticize men on their looks.

i agree with this.

i just wanted to say that i'm not upset by kwak's post although i generally find his attitude very tiring and depressing. i mean, the post made me roll my eyes 'cause it's so OBVIOUS but hey, if he learned something new, then good for him.

as for fatness, y'all know where i stand on that. but i'll be honest: i've always been harder on women's bodies (including my own) than the men around me have. as tough as the skinny standard is in hk, i still see a lot of chubby chicks with boyfriends, and i think chicks like myself contribute more to the "you're a fat bitch" mentality than straight men.

mind you, though, i realize that my own standards for fats is probably different from you american-born people. just to clarify, this chick is borderline fat:

http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/6392/scan7723143151nz0.jpg

and i'm not saying that to be mean, i'm pretty close to that as well, but you know, she's fat but she's a model in a japanese fashion magazine. when are you ever gonna see that in an american one?

i have no idea why i posted this, this is so random, and i'm not even drunk.

[Scowl]

Is it that obvious?

Yes and no.

[Vahz]

God, I'd think that girl was perfectly fine.

[Ike]

In my opinion, that girl is a little on the skinny side.

[minbo]

In my opinion the Vintage McCoy Zap shortboard is hot. What was that thing propped up next to it on the wall? Oh a girl or something?

[nightshade]

Yes and no.

Why yes and no?

As for the picture of the Japanese model: The only two times I've ever seen regular sized people on the cover of an American fashion magazine: Oprah and Jennifer Hudson on the cover of Vogue. And Oprah was told she had to lose weight before it had to happen because "Miss Anna don't like fat people."

I guess what I've been circling around is that to say that Asian women are held to some higher standard is, for me, like saying that Asian culture is somehow more misogynist or punishing when it comes to female beauty, when it's not. Yeah, Asian women are expected to be thinner, but there's equally harsh expectations for women in other cultures, like DONKEY and maogirl have pointed out.

[Candide]

In my opinion, that girl is a little on the skinny side.

She's fine, but she can put on a few extra kgs and she'll be super-fine. :)

I don't understand the pressure to be thin for AFs. My female cousins are obsessed with keeping thin to look like their favourite AF celebrities despite pretty much everyone in the family (mainly women) telling/begging/demanding them to do the opposite. Most of their fav AF celebs look like teenaged boys.

The majority of my AM friends prefer "thicker", womanly looking AFs. Usually it's the females who are really harsh on themselves and other females. They create their own pressure.

[theme]

The majority of my AM friends prefer "thicker", womanly looking AFs. Usually it's the females who are really harsh on themselves and other females. They create their own pressure.

Oh come on, that's BS. Society as a whole puts pressure on women to stay thin.

[Ike]

The majority of my AM friends prefer "thicker", womanly looking AFs. Usually it's the females who are really harsh on themselves and other females. They create their own pressure.

Introduce me! XD

I have a whole Chinatown of AMs to introduce your cousins to in return.

[Scowl]

Why yes and no?

Well, they sounded pretty typical, but the way you spoke of them suggested otherwise. But this is just based on one short paragraph.

I guess what I've been circling around is that to say that Asian women are held to some higher standard is, for me, like saying that Asian culture is somehow more misogynist or punishing when it comes to female beauty, when it's not.

I agree. That sort of talk always makes me wary because, in my experience, it inevitably leads to how backwards and oppressive Asian cultures are in comparison to Western cultures.

Yeah, Asian women are expected to be thinner, but there's equally harsh expectations for women in other cultures, like DONKEY and maogirl have pointed out.

As for Asian women being thinner, well, this is a total guess, but is it easier to be thinner in Asia due to different food/lifestyles? For the most part, aren't Asians in Asia just thinner, in general?

What I'm thinking is that maybe those Asian standards carry over to the US, where it would be much harder to maintain that same standard because of all the things that make Americans the fattest people in the world.

This is just something that I started thinking of, lately.

[nskripchun]

mind you, though, i realize that my own standards for fats is probably different from you american-born people. just to clarify, this chick is borderline fat:

http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/6392/scan7723143151nz0.jpg


I know i'm late to the party, but that's FAT? I'm so confused. O_o

I guess this is where I can go on record by saying that I definitely think a lil' bit of thickness in an Asian girl is a good thing given how too skinny most Asian girls are.

Or as my fellow Seattleite Sir Mixalot once said in "Baby Got Back":

So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her

On a side note, I do believe Asian parents can be pretty mean to their daughters... I'm always reminding my mom to lighten up on my sister (who's pretty normal sized and actually is in better shape than I am since she runs every other day and has done a few marathons).

[Ike]

My friend finally convinced me to try on some clothes at Abercrombie & Fitch yesterday. Ironically, I have never been so happy with my (excess) weight. The kind of girl who could fit in those clothes must be built like a 10-year-old boy, and I'm rather happy that I'm not.

... Now to find a nice Asian boy who agrees... D'oh!

[maogirl]

I know i'm late to the party, but that's FAT? I'm so confused. O_o

i said BORDERLINE fat!! and it's not really a criticism of that young lady, i think she's cute, it's just a fact of life here in hk. some chick just told me a while ago how cool it was that i was comfortable enough with my fats to wear short skirts, and i'm (slightly) leaner than the chick in the pic.


On a side note, I do believe Asian parents can be pretty mean to their daughters... I'm always reminding my mom to lighten up on my sister (who's pretty normal sized and actually is in better shape than I am since she runs every other day and has done a few marathons).

i guess i'm pretty lucky 'cause my parents want me to get fatter. i think they've been living too long in the philippines.

[Heli]

Personally even though I am a face person, I like girls with some curves and muscles.

I really don't get why a lot of Asian girls go on diets to make their breast smaller and further allow their muscles to entropy until all they get for a body is something like four sticks connected to a rectangular box.


BTW that girl is definitely on the thin side.

If that chick is borderline fat then I must the equivalent of a 300 pound man when I go to China! Do they have any concept of waist/chest ratio or muscle versus fat over there or is it just all about being starvation-level skinny?

[Kuroyama]

During my time hanging out with my Japanese friends from college, the "booty" line pretty much decided for us who was gonna chase which girl. We even commented on how convenient it was that no one ever got upset because the other guy was going after "his girl". In 6 years of hanging out, my friend Koichi and I went after the same girl ONCE, as in ONE TIME in 6 years of chasing women. She had a very athletic figure that drove both of us crazy. She, of course turned both of us down flatly. A perfect result.

[nightshade]

i said BORDERLINE fat!! and it's not really a criticism of that young lady, i think she's cute, it's just a fact of life here in hk. some chick just told me a while ago how cool it was that i was comfortable enough with my fats to wear short skirts, and i'm (slightly) leaner than the chick in the pic.


Heh, maybe that's why people kept staring at me when I was in Hong Kong. It wasn't that my clothes were hookerish, but they were all thinking, "Damn, fatty's sure comfortable with herself." Or, "Should a pregnant woman really dress like that?"

[maogirl]

Personally even though I am a face person, I like girls with some curves and muscles.

I really don't get why a lot of Asian girls go on diets to make their breast smaller and further allow their muscles to entropy until all they get for a body is something like four sticks connected to a rectangular box.


BTW that girl is definitely on the thin side.

If that chick is borderline fat then I must the equivalent of a 300 pound man when I go to China! Do they have any concept of waist/chest ratio or muscle versus fat over there or is it just all about being starvation-level skinny?

you're assuming that chicks want to be skinny to hook boys. as a matter of fact, i find that most chicks here care more about what other chicks say and what media depictions of the ideal female body is.

as i've said before, in hk, most chicks don't aspire to sexiness, they aspire to look chic or cute, which means having a very youthful-looking, adolescent body. nightshade and i were talking about how the chick magazines here hardly ever show female models being "sexy" but if you look at the magazines for men, all the male models are usually showing off their incredible bodies like this:

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/3113/00ul9.jpg


and the people in china are fat. and yeah, you're probably fat, too.

Heh, maybe that's why people kept staring at me when I was in Hong Kong. It wasn't that my clothes were hookerish, but they were all thinking, "Damn, fatty's sure comfortable with herself." Or, "Should a pregnant woman really dress like that?"

naw, they just thought you were a fat, pregnant hooker.

[Vahz]

That's the type of body I'm looking to achieve actually...

Hopefully in about 5 months.

[minbo]

Heh, I was hanging out with this Hispanic chick in my building at work and she commented on a bod that was very similar to the one you posted. Her opinion was that the kidney roll made that bod look fat! The kicker is that she was not exactly svelte herself, more along the lines of boruca. It can cut both ways, though it is not nearly as bad for guys yet.

[nightshade]

naw, they just thought you were a fat, pregnant hooker.

Haha, they thought I was a twelve-year-old fat, pregnant hooker.

[Ike]

Haha, they thought I was a twelve-year-old fat, pregnant hooker.

Is that more or less expensive than your average hooker?

[nightshade]

Is that more or less expensive than your average hooker?

More expensive of course. Fresh meat. Though I guess the pregnancy part might be slightly off putting to some.

[maogirl]

Her opinion was that the kidney roll made that bod look fat!

you mean the adonis belt??? i LOVE that in men! it's so lovely to run your hands over it.

unfortunately, i've got it, too, but i don't love it as much.

More expensive of course. Fresh meat. Though I guess the pregnancy part might be slightly off putting to some.

tsk, you can't be fresh meat if you've already been pregnant or had vaginoplasty.

[Vahz]

you mean the adonis belt???

So, that's what it's called. Thanks. I've been seeing it when I do sidebends. It looks a bit...odd.

[SamuraiJack]

I think all men, not just Asian men, are obsessed with skinny types.

This is similar to the way that Caucasian features have been glorified in the media - in this case, it's the skinny model that's been glorified.

I admit, I have a preference for the skinny type, but not too skinny - I assume the media has artificially brainwashed my opinion as well, just like how many people are brainwashed to adulate Caucasian facial features.

There are probably as many "fat" Asian guys as there are "fat" Asian girls, so I'm sure the Asian guys will go after girls of around the same body type. After all, if they don't, then they're being hypocrites.

[Ike]

There are probably as many "fat" Asian guys as there are "fat" Asian girls, so I'm sure the Asian guys will go after girls of around the same body type. After all, if they don't, then they're being hypocrites.

I'm not fat, I'm "muscular". =)

[nightshade]

tsk, you can't be fresh meat if you've already been pregnant or had vaginoplasty.

Heh, no wonder no one approached me. So I can't point to a corner on Bute Street and say, "And there, I was mistaken for a pregnant twelve-year-old fatty prostitute."

[DijabutiA]

Introduce me! XD

Whaaaaaaaaaaat??? Where's the love?

Whatever, the only true love for me is Kim Sam Soon.

i said BORDERLINE fat!! and it's not really a criticism of that young lady, i think she's cute, it's just a fact of life here in hk. some chick just told me a while ago how cool it was that i was comfortable enough with my fats to wear short skirts, and i'm (slightly) leaner than the chick in the pic.

LOL, this coming from the girl who surfs the ass matrix... HAHA!

[maogirl]

Whaaaaaaaaaaat??? Where's the love?

Whatever, the only true love for me is Kim Sam Soon.

you know, you and i have about the same age difference as kim sun ah and hyun bin and my friend is planning to open a bakery and i said i'd help out (not really sure as what, though, i mean, i obviously have no customer service skills. bouncer?). so? how about it, hm?

btw, a friend of mine who works in korean film production met hyun bin and lent him her hand cream, and every time they see each other, he thanks her profusely for the hand cream which he apparently uses every day. so cute!


LOL, this coming from the girl who surfs the ass matrix... HAHA!

the site is down!! probably due to haters like you! >:(

[DijabutiA]

the site is down!! probably due to haters like you! >:(

Since when was I a hater of the ass matrix?

[Kuroyama]

No one can tell you what the ass matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

[DijabutiA]

No one can tell you what the ass matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

That is one HELL of an understatement!

[Ike]

That's what the ass matrix says about itself.

[nightshade]

The ass matrix makes me wish I had an ass.

[Senkeh]

My friend Thuy is one of the most beautiful women I know. She's thicker than I am (and I'm a decently thick young black woman) with bigger jugs. So naturally, she's had a long string of black boyfriends, and tends to gravitate towards them.

I used to wonder why; Thuy isn't a self-hating Asian-American woman. She's fluently bilingual, loves her culture, and cares a lot for her family. She's an extremely wonderful person and I always wondered why a girl who loved her people so well wasn't already happily married to a fellow Asian; she would've made him very happy. When I first mentioned my own attraction to Asian men, I noticed her bitter reaction. She muttered something about "too traditional." She'd say the names of Asian men we both knew with the utmost venom, but wouldn't divulge details.

Thanks to you all, however, I think I'm beginning to see.

[Vahz]

Maybe you should get some more information.

If the Asian men she knows are sexist or domineering, fine; it's the constant stereotyping that all Asian men are like that. I've dated a Korean girl once and she even stated she was surprised. Her other Korean friend said that she would never be picked up by an Asian guy for marriage because she doesn't know how to cook.

[Senkeh]

Maybe you should get some more information.

If the Asian men she knows are sexist or domineering, fine; it's the constant stereotyping that all Asian men are like that. I've dated a Korean girl once and she even stated she was surprised. Her other Korean friend said that she would never be picked up by an Asian guy for marriage because she doesn't know how to cook.

I think the guys told her she was too fat, sweetheart. She's never voiced complaints of sexism or domination, but I believe weight might be the issue here.

And thing is, this girl is so beautiful.

[RebelAzn]

http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/6392/scan7723143151nz0.jpg

.

This chic definitely is not fat. She looks rather nice actually. I think it is ridicules some Asian men want skinny ass chicks. I personally like my woman athletic built and not skinny. I was never into skinny woman. "More cushion for the pushing" can definitely be true it is better to have something to grab on than bones. BTW, I also know plenty of Asian women who are not into big muscular guys either. When I was pretty good size, some of the girls I was dating kept telling to lose weight. I had to explain to them it took hours of pumping iron and proper diet to get to where I am. What the hell is wrong with all that muscle anyway. This behavior is not limited to men only.

As you get older, it is easy to put on weight. It is nice to grow older with your wife and grow fat together. I think it is much more important to be health than just skinny. Skinny does not always equal health so having decent weight is not such a bad thing.

I also noticed most women in general tend to be overly conscious with their weight not just for men, but for other women. The competition thing also drives many of these "I want to be skinny" behaviors.

To all Asian women that have a little meat on, there are Asian men who do appreciate the meat.

[DONKEY]

in some circles being thin is unattractive. what is the point of complaining that many Asian men have a preference? everybody has a preference. that's why there's like a million different kinds of porno. fat porn, hairy porn, gay porn, clown porn etc...
also, it is arguably easier to change your body than it is to change your personality. so are people who are picky about personality actually more shallow or judgmental than those who are picky about looks?