Asian Americans shattering stereotypes due to insecurity?

[Vahz]

Are we so concerned with shattering stereotypes because we're so concerned with how whites view us? It just seems that Asian Americans, as a whole, are just a large group of insecure individuals who would rather assimulate and want to be accepted rather than creating our own type of "pen-Asian culture."

Anyone else find this to be true? I know some Asians that keep telling me not to take a martial arts course because it will reinforce stereotypes. They tell me not to speak or make it look like I understand Chinese for fear that others will think we're fobs.

I've also seen this happen to random Asians and their blog postings.

Some girl wrote that she was proud of her brother because he didn't make a single Asian friend in law school since they always hang around with Asians. While I can see the benefit of diversity, I find her tone to be a little hostile. Another girl asked why there were so many Asians on a certain networking site.

Are Asians so concerned with going out of their way to make white friends because they have something to prove? Almost all my friends are non-Asian, not because I don't like hanging out with Asians, it's because almost all my coworkers and people who shared my interests were white and Latino.

I'm going back to college for a career change and I'm going to specifically try to connect to other Asian Americans such as joining their culture clubs so I guess the criticism works in reverse as well. Recently, these same non-Asian friends were critical that I would want to go out of my way to specifically meet Asian people.

Thoughts?

[theme]

The title has nothing to do with your post.

[Heyyu]

Personally I think it's a good thing to NOT only hang around with other Asians.

However, many Asians take that as an excuse to ONLY hang around with whites. Which is even lamer and a failed attempt at so-called "diversity."

Then again, for Asians who grew up in the suburbs and around mostly white people... it's somewhat understandable if they only have white friends. But once they go out to college or into the real world and still only limit themselves to certain groups (i.e. white or Asian), I think they are doing a disservice to themselves.

For instance, my best friend is Hispanic. I also have black friends, Asian friends, Arab friends, and I even know a Native American girl. Then again, I don't want to make it sound like I'm doing it out of tokenism: to know one person from each racial group and then proudly brag about how "diverse" I am. No, we just happened to share the same interests and we get along well, even if we do look like a mini-United Nations.

From what I see, many college campuses tend to self-segregate into their own little cliques and groups. I think it's good to get out and expose yourself to as many different people as possible. Variety is the spice of life. So I disapprove of Asians who ONLY hang around other Asians and Asians who ONLY hang around other whites. And an Asian who hangs around both Asians and whiteys only (the typical twinkie) needs to get more exposure as well. I think people rarely ever step out of their comfort zone and it's a damn shame.

[Tyger Durden]

really good reply ^

I have a similar experience and similar outlook.

[little mixed girl]

i think most minorities in a majority land want to be respected or treated fairly by the majority.

hanging out exclusively with ppl of the same race as yourself seems a waste to me. getting to know people from different backgrounds is great. it gives us a chance to hear things we might not hear in a group of clones.

i say...do what you want?
hang with who you want to hang with. if you focus on whether or not you're falling prey to a stereotype then you're going to be paranoid for life.

just don't smoke, cuz smoking sucks.

[RebelAzn]

You have the right to hang out with whoever you like. If you like only Asian friends, so be it. If you want friends with mixed group of people, so be it. Everyone has the RIGHT to hang out with whoever they want. We should not be judged because we only hang around certain people. PLENTY of white people only hang out with other white people and no one else, why aren't they judged?

I still remember an incident in college where I took my white roommate to an all Asian event. He told me he felt so uncomfortable and out of the place. I turned and said to him "welcome to my world dude". Most white people just don't get it what it is like for minorities in the USA. Also, back east whenever a group of minorities hang out white people think something is up. However, no one would batter an eye when a group of 10 or 20 whites kids hang out because they think that's the normal. This gets back to the discussion about white privilege and how rules are different for minorities.

Bottom line is hang out with whoever you like and fuck everyone else. Like Little Mixed Girl said, if you go around life thinking about stereotypes day in and day out, then you will have a miserable life. In a perfect world, it is not a minority's job only to speak up against racism and stereotypes, everyone (white too) should speak out when he/she witness racism or stereotyping.

[atlasien]

I still remember an incident in college where I took my white roommate to an all Asian event. He told me he felt so uncomfortable and out of the place. I turned and said to him "welcome to my world dude".

Ha, I love it. I've had similar snap-backs. A red mist descends over my eyes when someone (almost always white) points out how brave they are for going to an event for an hour, or walking into an ethnic grocery store for FIVE MINUTES, and EVERYONE ELSE IS A DIFFERENT RACE! OMG! Sorry for failing to extend my deepest admiration and sympathy, but you've just experienced a tiny piece of MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE, which will be my life until the day until I die, unless I move to Hawaii or Kyrgyzstan... and it's not really that scary, you massive whiner!

[Scowl]

Thoughts?

You say a shrimp... a shrimp what? I give you shrimp... okay bitch? Up your ass...!

[howstrange]

^
lol, that response fits perfectly with your current avatar.

Anyways, I completely agree with RebelAzn on this one. This nitpicking about who one hangs around seems quite a bit elitist and overbearing.

[PhoenixRisen]

I still remember an incident in college where I took my white roommate to an all Asian event. He told me he felt so uncomfortable and out of the place. I turned and said to him "welcome to my world dude".

I was recently invited to a praise and worship concert at a church. I was in this store when the two owners gave me a CD and flyer and invited me. When I drove to or should I say by the church and saw the korean writing and nothing but asians in the parking lot I felt uncomfortable. I didn't go in. I would've felt a lot more comfortable if I had an asian friend with me.:cool:
But for some reason when I'm in a situation with all whites or all hispanics I don't feel awkward. I think it's becaue in my experience whites or hispanics are usually used to having different races hanging out with them. I haven't seen as many groups of hispanics or whites hanging out in such exclusive groups as I've seen asians.:rolleyes: That came out funny but try and decipher it anyway.

[Vetrean]

I don't think you should be purposefully making white friends or doing something to 'break' a stereotype unless you really feel like doing that for the sake of doing it(and not for the stereotype issue). Doesn't that just create a new stereotype?

We should demand to be accepted as individuals rather than as a supportive part of a whole. An Asian nerd should just be an Asian nerd rather than as one more example of a stereotype.

I'm not naive enough to think that that's what's going to happen(imagine if, say, all Asians WERE nerds and still demanded to be seen as individuals) without people breaking the stereotypes, but I don't think anyone should feel pressure to break a stereotype for the sake of breaking a stereotype.

[.:hanbox3r]

Certain Asian Americans shatter stereotypes because thousands of years ago, before the silly notion of racial and social classification existed, demographics, climate, luck, migratory patterns and a whole lot of other factors caused a mixing of genetics that caused some of them to, *unbelievably*, gain certain traits that differentiated them from the usual stereotype of submissive, "nerdy", and socially awkward. :O!!

Hard to believe, isn't it?

Seriously, to even think that we shatter stereotypes out of insecurity? We don't want to shatter anything - we act as who we are, and if that happens to shatter the notions that certain people place on us, well then, we're really sorry.

[azhuang]

Of course it's due to insecurity! Personality traits and behaviors are continually being force-fed upon us by media or your 1-gen parents and if we slip a single bit, they'll turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. Our existence lies at the very margin of society and unless constant vigilance is held we will be pushed out or painted over. It's kind of hard to forget about color when that's the first thing people think of when they look at you!

[Ike]

I shatter stereotypes because I suck at math. And I really DO try. Addition is just really hard. =(

[.:hanbox3r]

Of course it's due to insecurity! Personality traits and behaviors are continually being force-fed upon us by media or your 1-gen parents and if we slip a single bit, they'll turn into self-fulfilling prophecies. Our existence lies at the very margin of society and unless constant vigilance is held we will be pushed out or painted over. It's kind of hard to forget about color when that's the first thing people think of when they look at you!

My point is that you shouldn't be breaking stereotypes out of insecurity. You shouldn't be making a conscious effort. You should just be who you really are, and that should be good enough for everyone else, fuck them if they think otherwise. If you break stereotypes by being who you are, well then, all the more power to you.

Breaking stereotypes out of insecurity is almost hypocritical (in my eyes) because you are thereby reinforcing the stereotype of AA being insecure.