Net "etiquette" on social networking sites

[Vahz]

I've posted this question about meeting new people on these types of social sites like MySpace, Facebook, and Xanga but I also value the opinion of users here and would like any input.

I was browsing around my friend's MySpace website and I started browsing through random profiles by way of the "degrees" method. In other words, you click on a link "ad nauseum", until you wind up 8 degrees from where you started.

I happened across the profile of some random girl and after reading her profile, am completely smitten with her. Now, my background has always been the type to have a crush on someone. In high school, it took me almost 3 years to work up the courage to ask a particular girl out. While we dated for a little over a year, it eventually broke up because she went away to college and said that if I asked her sooner, she would have done some research and found a college that specialized in her major nearby.

I was emotionally drained and her words have echoed through my brain for as long as I can remember. In short, he who hesitates, masturbates.

Moving on, this girl is from the same background, is pretty, smart, outgoing, near my location, enjoys many of the same things I do, and most importantly, seems to be single. Many friends warned me to not place any emphasis on her because it's a long shot. They state that I should be focusing on meeting other women in real life and not focus solely on one woman. I have to admit that I've let many girls slip right on by because I've been too focused on one particular girl. I had numerous chances with other girls that passed me by while I was working up the courage to ask that one girl out.

I'm not denying that but I figured I'd try to make friends with her first and see what happens. Who knows? After hearing that I'm going to message her, all my friends think I'm a chump for focusing on this one girl when I could be hooking up with many other women. Are they right? Should I just ignore this girl as a pipe dream?

My question is: What is the net "etiquette" when it comes to trying to establish a connection with someone on these types of sites (MySpace, Facebook, Xanga, etc)? Is it inappropriate to fire off an email or message from a random stranger? Would it creep you out if someone just sent you a message like "Hi, I'm blah." Would it be any differant than meeting someone in a bookstore?

I should add that the reason why I happened across her site is because she's in a profession that I wish to switch to for my career change. Also, I know one of her friends would could both be decent icebreakers.

[RebelAzn]

First of all, you are thinking way too much. It is not how you meet the girl, it is whether if you have the right connection with her or not after you meet her.

3 years? Are you kidding me? It usually takes me about 5-20 mins to hit on a girl if I saw one I like. Of course, assuming I am in her immediate vicinity.

What do you got to lose? Try to get in touch with her. For all you know she might not even like you so you got all worked up for nothing. It is better to find out sooner rather than later. Worst she can say is no. Women are not some mythological creatures you can't approach, they are human beings :). If she says no, you move on to the next. Even if she does have a boyfriend, at least you tried and for all you know she might not get along with her current boyfriend so you attention might be welcoming.

[Scowl]

Is it inappropriate to fire off an email or message from a random stranger? Would it creep you out if someone just sent you a message like "Hi, I'm blah."

Just send her an e-mail, what have you got to lose? Just tell her how hot she looks in her myspace pics, that you'd like to get to know her better, and that you know how to please a woman. People hook up from myspace all the time, just pray to Buddha that she isn't one of those frigid "no sex before marriage" chicks.

[Vahz]

Keep in mind that the 3 year thing was when I was in high school. Long time ago.

[theme]

send an email and a picture and state your intentions. If she doesn't reply, just cut your losses and move on.

[Vahz]

Is anyone actually on MySpace or the other aforementioned networking sites?

I actually wanted to talk to her about her profession and establish a rapport before I do anything else. It's odd because I know one of her friends.

[RebelAzn]

Is anyone actually on MySpace or the other aforementioned networking sites?

I actually wanted to talk to her about her profession and establish a rapport before I do anything else. It's odd because I know one of her friends.

Dude, women don't care about profession and all that shit unless she is attracted to you. Therefore, you got to meet her somehow and see if there is a connection. There is not much of anything unless there is chemistry. Seriously, if I am not attracted to a girl I could care less if she is a doctor or a billionaire. Believe it or not, most women are the same way. Most women make up their mind whether you are fuckable or not within the 1st 5 mins of meeting you.

Also, I would think twice about taking advice from Theme. He sounds like one depressing dude whose outlook in life is nothing but a black hole.

[theme]

Also, I would think twice about taking advice from Theme. He sounds like one depressing dude whose outlook in life is nothing but a black hole.

Yeah, my advice of shooting an email with a picture and straightforward intentions is just really bad advice. That's not something that probably hundreds of thousands of bachelors/bachelorettes do every week or anything. :rolleyes: And it's just so frickin' different from what everyone else suggested that I should be barred from ever giving dating advice ever again.

But then again, I'm talking to the guy who proposed of posting 'beautiful Asian women' because they are our 'mothers, sisters, and lovers'. Geez if only I had some crackers to go with all that cheese you're oozing I'd be happy right now.

LMAO.

[Vahz]

Oy, let's not start a flame thread please.

Rebel, I was merely going to get to know her first through her profession since it's the same one I'm going to be going into. I'd like to start with a friendly rapport first before it goes any further. If anything, being upfront and stating that "she's hot" and sending her a random email with a picture is far more creepy than talking to her about her job.

Don't get me wrong, I still welcome any advice because I'm not sure what the rules are with meeting people online, I mostly meet people in school or real life.

[theme]

That actually is really creepy too Vahz. IMO anyway.

[Vahz]

Any way to say "hi" online *without* it sounding creepy? Since when is "hi" synonymous with "OMG Im lookin' in your window right now!"

Heh.

[Ike]

Hate to say this, but whether or not a girl thinks you're creepy is usually inversely proportional to whether or not she thinks you're hot.

[Vahz]

Finally, a girl's honest opinion.

I think I'll message her in about a month then as it's time to start decreasing the body fat % and show those rippling abs.

[theme]

Hate to say this, but whether or not a girl thinks you're creepy is usually inversely proportional to whether or not she thinks you're hot.

I said:

send an email and a picture and state your intentions. If she doesn't reply, just cut your losses and move on.

And you posted this:
http://www.thefighting44s.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4924

And I had to deal with this crap:

Also, I would think twice about taking advice from Theme. He sounds like one depressing dude whose outlook in life is nothing but a black hole.

Do I have to walk on water to get some recognition or what?

[RebelAzn]

Any way to say "hi" online *without* it sounding creepy? Since when is "hi" synonymous with "OMG Im lookin' in your window right now!"

Heh.


Ok the truth is attractive females who put their pictures online probably gets a lot of unwanted attention. Unfortunately, some women like attention whether it is good or bad but good ones know the difference. If you contact her, you could be one of the many. Maybe you can chat with her sometimes and get to know her a little. Again, without chemistry all that online courting means nothing.

Didn't you say you know one of her friend? I would try to meet her if it is all possible. Like I said, you could get work up for nothing if there is no chemistry. All I got to say is people lie all the time on the Internet. Some might not even look close to their pictures. This is the main reason why I prefer to date females after I see them and know there is some sort of chemistry. Chemistry is something you either got it or you don't. It is that biological form of attraction that you know it is there. Therefore, I would keep things platonic until after you meet her. That being said, it is not how you meet a girl but rather how you end up after you meet her.

[RebelAzn]

I said:


And you posted this:
http://www.thefighting44s.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4924

And I had to deal with this crap:


Do I have to walk on water to get some recognition or what?

Do you want me to bring up all of your responses where you are pretty much negative on just about everything? I don't have that much time on my hand nor do I give a shit. It is easier just not dealing with people with the kind of mentality where they can't see anything positive in anything.

And no, I don't want this thread to turn into another flame fest because of you.

[theme]

Do you want me to bring up all of your responses where you are pretty much negative on just about everything? I don't have that much time on my hand nor do I give a shit. It is easier just not dealing with people with the kind of mentality where they can't see anything positive in anything.

And no, I don't want this thread to turn into another flame fest because of you.

It wouldn't have turned into a flame thread if you didn't single me out. Do you see how that works?

No? Probably not.

Got any more pictures of women who are our moms, sisters, and lovers?

[nskripchun]

Hate to say this, but whether or not a girl thinks you're creepy is usually inversely proportional to whether or not she thinks you're hot.

Hahaha, so true.

My friend's cousin recently broke up with her BF of 4 years, and all of sudden starting dating this "new guy" after only 1 month. The thing is that this "new guy" isn't so new... he's been hanging around her for the past few years, following her to the same college, same major in college, same classes, and now... EVEN THE SAME COMPANY. Pretty stalker-ish if you ask me, but because she thinks he's cute, she just passes it off as "he's a good friend".

Anyways, Vahz...

Just go for it, and let us know how it turns out. Like others have said, just send her a short, friendly e-mail and see where it goes. You got nothing to lose.

[nottyboy]

My question is: What is the net "etiquette" when it comes to trying to establish a connection with someone on these types of sites (MySpace, Facebook, Xanga, etc)? Is it inappropriate to fire off an email or message from a random stranger? Would it creep you out if someone just sent you a message like "Hi, I'm blah." Would it be any differant than meeting someone in a bookstore?


IMHO, it's more or less a number's game. I try to break the ice with something short and interesting. If I can tie it to something in her profile, even better.

She might reply or might not, considering any woman probably gets messages from guys every week, if not every day.

[Noodles]

I would advise not to send an email. If she is attractive then chances are that she’s been emailed many times. I think the email approach has a low chance of a positive response unless you’re very handsome or there’s something else about you that will distinguish you from the rest.

I would try to meet her in person. Since you know one of her friends, maybe they can set up an introduction. You also could try looking on her page to see where she frequents and run into her.

[Vahz]

I know her friend but I don't know him that well. In fact, I don't even know how to contact him either.

Eh, I'll message her in a little awhile from now when I'm able to shed some more body fat and reveal my abs. Only 4 visable so far so almost there.

Also, finding out where she goes and "bumping" into her is stalking. Sending a message and stating my intentions is less likely to come off as stalking.

[Tyger Durden]

...I should add that the reason why I happened across her site is because she's in a profession that I wish to switch to for my career change. Also, I know one of her friends would could both be decent icebreakers.

I would use your buddy to break the ice in real life and then go from there.

[Vahz]

I know her friend but I don't know him that well. In fact, I don't even know how to contact him either.

I already said that I couldn't get in contact with him.

[Tyger Durden]

I already said that I couldn't get in contact with him.

Well, you have to do it one-on-one. It's not "cyber-stalking" to say hello to her on the Internet anymore than saying it to her in Real Life. Either way, you have to break the ice somehow if you wanna talk to this person.

Good luck then.

[RebelAzn]

I already said that I couldn't get in contact with him.

Why don't you write her and tell her you know her friend and see if you can get a response from her. If she likes her friend, chances are she will reply back to you.

Anyway, it is a long shot either way. Like I said before, you need to meet her first to see there is chemistry.

[elliott20]

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who thinks Vahz is thinking about this too much.

Dude, I think you're placing far too much emphasis on what you look like. I've read your posts, you're not exactly an idiot who can't muster up something creative to say. Just say hi, be courteous, try to be funny/interesting, and maybe she'll write back. If not, fuck it. no skin of your nose.

[angi]

Shoot her a quick email that you liked her myspace, layout, content, etc and that you seem to share a similar background. Perhaps connect something from what she said on there to something in your like (example: pets.) Make it innocuous (sp?) and charming. You want to build a chatting relationship in which you can progress to meeting. If you just say, "hey you're hot, let's meet!" she is going to blow you off because it is just creepy as hell. Women want to feel safe and secure and definitely not like a peice of meat.


Chances are nothing will come of it, but you never know. My sister met her current boyfriend through a random myspace message.