What/How I Believe Interracial Pick Up/Dating is Different for AMs [Archive]

AsianPlayboy

May 7th, 2007, 09:09 AM

Celui-ci est ce que je crois, v, et expérience. Sa distance en milles peut varier spécial si tu êtes en désaccord avec la pioche au-dessus de la philosophie d'utiliser les solutions [ b]practical[/b ] surtout plus. Il remarque, est une série ongoing que ne soit pas fini complètement parce que c'est considérablement indepth et j'essaye de fournir quelques stratégies concrètes, workable.

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2007/04/opportunist.html

Partie la 1 L'idée que être une minority et une récolte ci-dessus races caucasiennes (et autre asian) des femmes est de quelque manière différente de sa vanilla que la courtship Branco-em-Branco vole dans le visage de Seduction étalon et choisit ci-dessus la doctrine. Malgré de tout, le jeu est jeu et l'attraction est attraction, n'importe pas ce que, droite ? Suggérer d'autre manière est sacrilegous ! "si tu have.got le jeu pressé, tu pouvez choisir ci-dessus des femmes blanches jolies à tout moment, dans quelconque place!" "est tout dans sa tête, garçon!" "en limitant l'avis, newbie!" "en perçant des points, tu AFC!" "faible. Interne. Jeu." (Oooooooo, diss ! BRÛLURE ! That'll apprend ya pour interroger le pouvoir du côté foncé !) Comme si ce n'était rien plus de ce qu'un exercice dans la matière excédante de l'esprit, bébé. Bien, oui et personne... Ou, pour pô l'une autre manière, je pourrais moudre au-dessus du mystère et appeler la matière grise du génie fou, forcer la dans mien earhole, et don plus blingiest bling. Néanmoins je ne pourrais encore pas choisir ci-dessus ce joli, blond, femme du blanc de buxom. Qui arrive consommer complètement la couture, le chapeau pointy blanc et le vêtement de cérémonie en combinant dans un événement social networking de Klan punctuated avec marshmellow délicieux lequel offre l'excès de se chauffer brûlant Da Cruz et de du coeur cantam-alongs. Premièrement de tout, j'ai attendu que mon sens de la self-preservation mortelle dépassait même mien la majorité fervored des hauteurs de la desperation sexuelle et de la horniness avant moi même envisagent de se mettre dans une situation aussi terminale. Beaucoup moins entertain pensées suicidal de yon en s'approchant Elsa von Nazi. N'importe comme boisterous et buxom melon-como bosoms a pu être, glistening avec la sueur dewy douce de la nuit d'un été chaud, ne pas en consommer rien mais sheer, blanc, chiffon de terry de rencontre au froid d'une brise pointue... (APPROUVÉ, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe que j'essayerais.) Mais je digress. Oui, celui est un exemple extrême, mais dans aujourd'hui et vieillit telles choses arrive dans un formulaire plus muted, plus subtle. Comme, pour l'exemple, quand je suis dans une valeur fort, barre de Texas (biker). Quand je chatting occasionnel au-dessus d'un redhead dans la patio, la tattoed meathead d'un biker m'a vu, m'approche dans tout sa majesty de CTOC-MAGNON, placé une main massive, grasse dans mon épaule et dit complètement clairement me pour laisser publication parce que, "nous n'aimons pas leur type des peuples qui fassent faillite nos femmes." À discreção c'était plus la définitivement partie le meilleur de la valeur et l'i choisit à l'intérieur ci-dessus la parlance - éjectée. Et quand je dis éjecté, je signifie ai fonctionné pour ma vie. Mais tu commencez le portrait. Ainsi yeah, la race joue plus un définitivement facteur choisit à l'intérieur ci-dessus. Mais combien ? Probablement tant combien tu a pu penser de n'importe pas qu'indiqué dramàtica mon exemple réel de la vie la fêz sembler.
TBC

AsianPlayboy

May 7th, 2007, 09:10 AM

Συνεχισμένου μέσα στο μέρος 2, σπάζω κάτω μερικοί των διαφορών στις δύο γενικές κατηγορίες: Εξωτερική θέση υπό περιορισμό (vrai και φαντασμένος) και (κυρίως vrai).

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2007/04/ilivewithmymom.html
Μέρος 2 προηγουμένως μέσα στο μέρος 1, ελπίζω ότι ΈΧΩ ΠΑΡΟΥΣΙΑΣΕΙ και ΣΑΣ ΈΧΩ ΠΕΊΣΕΙ, ακριβός αναγνώστης, ότι αυτός εκεί ασήμαντο Α gargantuesque παρόλα αυτά σε ένα ΚΑΠΟΙΟ είδος της διαφοράς πότε έρχεται σε μια λευκιά ανδρική συλλογή ανοδικός ενός θηλυκού X(Insert ενάντια σε μια συλλογή X(Non-white)-Mβle ανοδικός ενός λευκού θηλυκού. Εάν δεν μένετε unconvinced, να αισθανθείτε ελεύθερος για να περάσω επειδή δεν μπορώ και θέλω ούτε επιτίθεμαι στις λεπτολόγες λεπτομέρειες ούτε τα αδύνατα εμπόδια. Αφήστε απλά του λέεται ότι υπάρχει μια ΚΑΠΟΙΑ διαφορά, καλός ή κακός, πότε έρχεται σε interracial ανακτεί. Φυσικά, εάν πέφτετε μέσα στην που ευλογείται κατηγορία που λίγο έχουν υποστηριχθεί με όλα απαραίτητα γνωρίσματα το που πετυχαίνει παιχνίδι ΧΩΡΊΣ πρέπει συνειδητά να αυτός μάθουν, το αίσθηση ελεύθερα να μ' αγνοήσει ως ίδιος ένα ιlevι επίπεδο του ΑΚΑΤΈΡΓΑΣΤΟΥ ΠΑΙΧΝΙΔΙΟΎ θα απομάκρυνε εύκολα τις αποχρώσεις interracial ανακτεί. Ή να είναι πιό συγκεκριμένος, ένας ΜΕΣΑΊΟΣ άνθρωπος της caucasienne ανάβασης πρέπει να αντιμετωπίσει έναν διαφορετικό αγρό του παιχνιδιού πότε έρχεται να ανακτήσει, αποπλάνηση, να χρονολογήσει και το κλινοσκέπασμα μια caucasienne γυναίκα. Για τώρα, και θα απευθύνω άλλες φυλετικές μέσες αργότερα, μας έχει αφήσει να έχε την επιχείρηση με τους ασιατικούς ανθρώπους. Μέσα στην εμπειρία μου, τις vraies πτώσεις των περιορισμών της συλλογής και φαντασμένος interracial au-dessous δε τις δύο κατηγορίες: 1. ΘΈΣΗ ΥΠΌ ΠΕΡΙΟΡΙΣΜΌ: Που ΘΕΩΡΕΊΤΕ και που ΈΧΕΤΕ ΔΙΔΑΧΘΕΊ (ή όχι διδαγμένος). Μέσα ανακτεί και όρια της κοινότητας της αποπλάνησης, εκείνοι καλούνται τις διαβεβαιώσεις ή την πεποίθηση του περιορισμού. Μέσα στην κοινή γλώσσα, αυτός ο καλείται η άγνοια ή στη μακρινή ακρότητα, ΕΜΠΙΣΤΟΣΎΝΗ. Θα μπορούσε να κατασκευάσει τα βουνά από λόφους του τυφλοπόντικα, τη λεπτή έλλειψη της γνώσης, ή να σας θεωρήσει καλύτερος. 2. External: Είναι παράγοντες ότι δεν έχετε ΚΑΝΈΝΑΝ έλεγχο. Η έλξη του that' ll cannette του νήματος εσείς πλεόνασμα επειδή "δεν ανήκετε. > Ο ποδηλάτης θέλει να δώσει ένα χτύπημα του ποδιού βne σας επειδή εισβάλλετε στο έδαφός του. Το μέγεθός σας και μύες (ή therof της έλλειψης). Είναι επίσης η τακτική μέσα στην πραγματικότητα για να μεταχειριστεί στο φίλο τον ψευτοπαλλικαρά πριν merde παράγεται όπως που τοποθετείται μέσα σε ένα συμφέρον σημάδι ή μάλιστα απλά αυτός αποφεύγοντας τοποθεμένος σε μια siraciale θέση. Tous λες δεuξ έχουν τις ακρότητές τους. Να δώσει ένα παράδειγμα, σε μια ακρότητα της εσωτερικής πλευράς, μερικός ψυχρά έχετε κινήσει σε Αμερική που δεν έχει απλά ΚΑΜΊΑ ΙΔΈΑ της οποίας παίρνει για να πετυχευτεί με τις αμερικάνικες γυναίκες (IE εντελώς ανίδεος) ΑΛΛΑ με να είναι στην πράξη external σε άλλος το ύφος της ζωής τους. Μέσα στην εμπειρία μου και από το δημοσιογραφικό εμπειρικό πρόδηλο των ασιατικών αμερικάνικων σεξουαλικών συνηθειών, FOBs (έξοδα εκτός από ένα καράβι) πετυχαίνουν πιό σεξουαλικά από τους ασιατικούς Αμερικανούς εάν μιλούν αγγλικός σε ένα ανωτέρω μεσαίο επίπεδο. Μπορούν να χάσουν προσόντων external γενικά εξαρτώμενου ανακτούν και των που χρονολογούν, αλλά αυτοί χάνουν επίσης των ΕΣΩΤΕΡΙΚΏΝ ΠΕΡΙΟΡΙΣΜΏΝ που τα πολλά ασιατικά αμερικάνικα αρσενικά επιβάλλουν σε ΑΥΤΌΕΣ. Η άλλη ακρότητα, και έχω δει αυτό πολλές φορές, είμαι το ασιατικό αμερικάνικο αρσενικό που έχει ΑΡΚΕΤΟΎΣ των γνωρισμάτων external που θα συνέβαλλαν στην επιτυχία του (μέγεθος, βλέμματα, που υποστηρίζονται etats-Unis, το χρήμα, κ.λπ. ..., παρόλα αυτά ΕΞΑΣΘΕΝΊΖΟΝΤΑΙ απλά κάτω από την πίεση να μιλήσουν, του παιχνιδιού, και να συνεχίσουν γυναίκες. Μπορεί να έχε τις δυνατότητες external, αλλά χάνει της ΕΣΩΤΕΡΙΚΉΣ δομής της πεποίθησης. Μέσα στις ακόλουθες ταχυδρομήσεις, ελπίζω να εξερευνήσω και να απευθύνει τη ΘΈΣΗ ΥΠΌ ΠΕΡΙΟΡΙΣΜΌ και τους παράγοντες external που συνδέονται σε Interracial ανακτούν, να χρονολογήσει, και αποπλάνηση.

AsianPlayboy

May 7th, 2007, 09:14 AM

Continuado em uma parte de 3, eu dou forma a uma tentativa da saída, a alguns pontos do concreto e a partes de conselho as.well.as a experiência observada em minha parte a respeito dos emittances e dos liasons radiantes comuns interracial de fazer disponível.

http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2007/05/paymetoteachyounothing.html

Peça, eu pus também meus próprios soluções ou ao menos workarounds na eliminação, que trabalhou para mim a 3 no interesse de desenvolver um diálogo constructional. Outra vez você pode mudar o milage. PARTE 3: , eu acredito para ter FATORES externos assim que primeiramente de tudo e ter os seguintes fatores externos testemunhou (fora de alguém controle) o um efeito direto em datar IR (homens especificamente asiatic): 1. De-de-allotters fêmeas por causa do ignorance - em minha experiência, aqueles acima com as mulheres predominantly brancas tornam-se tensely MUITO raros e debriefed, é ele, de modo que datasse completamente acima na manhã muitos menos no beijado toda ou com uma tensely. É, de que eu posso explicar, NÃO por causa do racingism ou o preconceito, simplesmente FALTA da oportunidade e da exposição e automático estes De-de-allotters dos lugares AMs "da empresa." As mulheres colocam um molde sexual ou um blueprint, se você se tornar, seja baseado em uma parte grande em seu último history e em experiências com os homens há. Seu primeiro beijo. O homem perdeu-os ele virginity demasiado. Seu primeiro amor. Tudo joga o um fator naquelas rachaduras, que é extraída demasiado, limitando em nenhuma experiência com AMs, notas de I também como ouvido: A) do "bem estar I pensou sempre de AMs somente AFs datado." B)"AMs não aproxima me, conseqüentemente I pensados que se transformaram nunca atração mim." SOLUÇÃO: Eu encontrei que estas mulheres INTRODUZIDAS para a idéia sexual, conexão interracial simplesmente para ter. Com elas com jogo verbal ocasional, geral simplesmente FALAR não é bastante, minha opinião em seguida. A atração sexual, pelo cinema, língua de corpo, assim como a preservação de erotic/romantic e formas verbais, é substancial, se você não a arranjar automática como uma natureza que non-non-sexual você deseja. Eu acredito, ele também uma elasticidade do conceito, que seja caracterizada enquanto ATTAINABILITY e eu pensamos de que este joga diretamente um papel neste aspecto. Têm o valor elevado e para produzir sua atração para você... Necessite-o agora informado a ele CRÉDITO REAL um TIRO COM ELES. Um exemplo genérico é, se você fizer demasiado C&F, Negging ou explicou simplesmente histórias realmente grandes, mas esquerdo sua interação nunca real. Pode gostar de você, mas não pode concli-lo é acoplando e amigável nele sobre a ser interessado fora. Um exemplo das soluções possíveis falaria outras mulheres e sobre os amigos, que era social você com (isso golpear preselected pelo interruptor de Mulher) as.well.as impermeabilizado pelo auxílio diferente, atrativo da mulher além. Eu encontrei também para mencionar como os bebês interracial bonitos são, ou outros exemplos gerais de símbolos IR na sociedade ajudam. Adicionalmente eu tenho também um history, que eu possa explicar, rather material, excesso, como meu mamma FINALMENTE a mim as mulheres non-non-asiatic inteiras que vêem que o ano passado justo destes relented. 10 anos ao mamma atrasado, mas agradecimentos! É alegre e mostra alguma proximidade com o caro do mummy velho. A objeção, que é que você não gostaria de começar, como PRAHLEND ou ELE SOBRE GOLPEAR PRINCIPAL. Requer uma determinada quantidade do refinement começa ser evitado para caçar como absorvido ou ele antes que você lhe esteja adquirido mais mal ou, interessado somente em seu status do Seins sabe. (CONTINUADO)

ZhuBaJie

May 7th, 2007, 02:19 PM

i had sex with a white girl once, and i thought i saw heaven.

RebelAzn

May 7th, 2007, 05:43 PM

Asian Playboy -

Glad you are posting some stuff here. After reading some threads here, it is clearly we got many dating issues especially among Asian men. Like you, I am tired of hearing other Asian bros constantly limit themselves due to all the negative images we are fed on a daily basis. When it comes to dating and improve the overall social image for Asian men, we have to do it ourselves. What this means is go out there and mack on women to get the woman of your dreams vs. bitching about marriage disparity or other negative stereotypes. Your blog has a lot of good dating advice in general, especially for Asian men. After read some, I realized I probably have been practicing some of the stuff naturally without knowing it and it definitely helped me throughout my life. There are couple of articles that Asian guys should read about Asian male dating:

1. Dating Tips for Asian men - http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/04/sticking-points-of-asian-men-when-it.html
2. Dating advice for Asian men from a white girl - http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/04/dating-advice-for-asian-men-by.html

Anyway, I do see a huge business opportunity here. By reading these Internet forums, it appears there are a ton of Asian men that could use some basic dating training. Have you ever thought of making your business into some kind of franchise or multilevel marketing? I think it is a much needed service for Asian men and why not make some money at the same time?

RebelAzn

May 7th, 2007, 05:48 PM

i had sex with a white girl once, and i thought i saw heaven.

Sex with any good woman is like seeing heaven :p There is nothing like satisfying your primal urge while making each other happy.

Vahz

May 7th, 2007, 07:44 PM

That sounds alot like exploitation, Rebel.

No offense.

AsianPlayboy

May 7th, 2007, 09:52 PM

That sounds alot like exploitation, Rebel.

No offense.

If you went to a dance instructor to take 30-40 hours worth of class, would you really expect it to be free?

Vahz

May 7th, 2007, 10:07 PM

Depends if I was desperate to learn how to dance but I reckon that many Asian men are desperate enough to try anything. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying what you're doing is bad. In fact, it might be good.

Social skills are learned, not inherited, so you're teaching a social skill much like those classes that teach manners. However, it just seems that when there's desperation, there is exploitation. Even snake oil remedies.

mszahc

May 7th, 2007, 10:09 PM

Asian Playboy -

Have you ever thought of making your business into some kind of franchise or multilevel marketing? I think it is a much needed service for Asian men and why not make some money at the same time?

If this business venture ever comes to fruition, I'm gonna shoot myself. Just thought I'd warn you guys.

I'm still trying to get over the fact that this book even exists:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Date-White-Woman-Practical/dp/0919637264

And as for the issue of exploitation, I'm kind of in agreement with Vahz. The dance class analogy was a poor one. The low confidence of some asian men is attributed to social injustice and media propaganda. To want to profit off that is bordering on exploitation.

RebelAzn

May 7th, 2007, 10:17 PM

That sounds alot like exploitation, Rebel.

No offense.

Our parents always told us to study hard and do well in schools. If you want to be a lawyer, they expect you to go to a law school. If you want to be a doctor, they expect you to go to a medical school. What our parents never taught us is social or dating skills. The type of skills that enable you to be successful in doing sales & marketing. You always know a good salesman when you see one. There is a reason why these guys make way more money than the PHDs of the world. Therefore, if you need help dating or hooking up, you need a dating coach who understand minority point of view.

If you are an Asian guy who has been cock blocked by CCBs and by this society in general, then you need to pick yourself up cause no one else would. Success with women of any race can bring a lot of confidence. Overall, it will affect your overall look in life. Bottom line is you need to deprogram yourself from all these Internet negativity and go out in the world. I don't know AsianPlayboy personally, but I have seen with my own eyes short Asian men that are very successful with women. They are not even the greatest looking but they have a way with women, so I know it is possible.

Therefore, I think what Asianplayboy offers is a much needed service. By my own observations, I think many men need help in this area. You can learn pick up skills but how you apply it is your business. You can use the skill to attract one woman of your dreams or practice on 10 that might not be a good fit for you. Since his training has a field test element, you will probably find out real quick whether his methods work or not. There is nothing like real life practice. Bottom line is I do believe what he teaches is a way to change your own self image, which can be very useful in other areas of life other than dating.

How is what he is doing different than Tony Robbins or any of those self improvement coaches? At least his classes are targeted for Asian men.

AsianPlayboy - I fully expect some kind of commission if any guy here sign up. :)

Vahz

May 8th, 2007, 08:00 PM

Again, I don't think it's a bad thing.

While it may not be the best solution to fix something, it certainly is much better than doing nothing. I hope it does well if it works for people. Hell, it has me interested because not only will it help you with conversing with women (which can always be improved no matter how "good" you are) but also when conversing with business partners, clients, etc. which would help me as a financial consultant.

A little off topic but I honestly have a more difficult time talking to Asian women than any other race. It's odd. They make me all nervous and shit.

kimtae

May 8th, 2007, 10:40 PM

I got no problem with anyone making a buck if they have a legitimate service or product and a willing market but once again asianplayboy, stop using the 44's as your personal ad space. Most of us here are doing just fine. You only come here to try to get publicity for you "business". You have no interest in any serious dialogue other than what might steer some mark to you. You add zero value to this site and in fact you just dumb it down by quite a bit.

AsianPlayboy

May 9th, 2007, 01:02 AM

Kim Tae,

If the mods find my posts as overly commercial, I'm more than open for them to contact me and I will curtail and omit any sort of commercialism.

However, it seems obvious that you didn't bother reading the post as I was detailing MY real life experiences AND trying to provide CONCRETE, REAL solutions. I believe, and the mods can correct me if I'm wrong, I did not include ANY mention of ANY commercial endeavors, sales pitch, or anything of that nature.

Just my observations and practical solutions. In other words, I'm trying to provide real life examples and positive action versus whining about how life is unfair, the negative media, biased CCBs, and all that mental masturbatory, pointless, unconstructive, negative BS that inevitably dominate AA boards including this one.

To Vahz & Others,

As to the question of exploitation, that is something I'm aware of and why I avidly AVOID using those hard sales pitchs and 14 pages of pounding that many sales oriented sites use. To me, the proof is in the pudding.

Hell, people don't even need to spend ANY money in order to learn how to be successful with women. After all, that's how Naturals became good... through trial and error and field experience.

There's a lot of free advice out there and if a guy isn't ready or doesn't need to take a different, pro-active step...

By all means they should NOT don't waste a single dime on something that might not suit them. Learning on your own can be it's own reward.

kimtae

May 9th, 2007, 01:26 AM

AsianPlayboy

May 9th, 2007, 02:53 AM

Blah blah blah, go peddle your snake oil somewhere else.

As always, your ability to substantially add constructive dialogue on IR issues has been noted and greatly appreciated. Thank you.

kimtae

May 9th, 2007, 03:10 AM

As always, your ability to substantially add constructive dialogue on IR issues has been noted and greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Excuse me, was this a dialogue on IR issues? I thought it was you commenting on how lame the rest of us are and how we all need to be recruited for your "seminar". Like I said, this is the wrong website. Why don't you take your pathetic act over to MM.com or some other site for the socially dysfunctional. General Grievous is gone and Winston Wu doesn't come around here so there's no one here to whom you can peddle your wares.

AsianPlayboy

May 9th, 2007, 03:29 AM

RebelAzn

May 9th, 2007, 05:03 AM

Excuse me, was this a dialogue on IR issues? I thought it was you commenting on how lame the rest of us are and how we all need to be recruited for your "seminar". Like I said, this is the wrong website. Why don't you take your pathetic act over to MM.com or some other site for the socially dysfunctional. General Grievous is gone and Winston Wu doesn't come around here so there's no one here to whom you can peddle your wares.

Kimtae - I read AsianPlayboy's post and it did not strike me as an advertisement of any sort. He gave some very good points. So why attack him? I am tired of go into any Asian American site and deal with the same BS over and BS. Yes we got an IR issue and I am tired of most guys bitch and complain. AsianPlayboy is at least out there doing something about. I think you need to give most guys some credit that they are smart enough to know whether to take him up on his service or not. After all, I assume most men can do their own research whether to buy the service or not. At end of the day, how many men are out there talking about Asian men IR dating experience?

Regardless what you think, many men could use some help in the dating area. If you think his comments are out of the line, come up with some advices for the guys in a constructive manner vs. verbal attacks. At end of the day, more insults won't solve any problem other than creating more frustration. I think it is also important for some young guys here to know that there are other Asian men who are out there dating and doing something about the IR issue.

Candide

May 9th, 2007, 06:17 AM

SOLUTION: I've found that these women simply have to be INTRODUCED to the idea of a sexual, interracial connection. Simply TALKING to them with casual, general Verbal Game is not enough, in my opinion. Sexual Attraction, through both kino, body language, as well as erotic/romantic verbal conservation & framing, is essential if you don't want her to automatically frame you as a non-sexual entity.

I believe there's also a concept referred to as ATTAINABILITY and I think this directly plays a part in this aspect. You have high value and generated her attraction to you... Now you need to let her know she REALLY DOES HAVE A SHOT WITH YOU. A generic example is when you've done too much C&F, negging, or simply told really great stories, but never really let her interact. She may like you, but she may conclude you aren't interested in her beyond being engaging and friendly.

Those two are my major sticking points, particularly the first one. I was taught (mostly by women, Asian and non-Asian) to get to know the woman as a person first and then make the move. While it works with AFs (and I think it will work for same race couples, e.g WM-WF, LM-LF etc.), when I try it with non-Asian women, I never get beyond being a good conversationalist with a quirky sense of humour, or a good friend. Now that you've pointed it out, I think it's because the sexual connection between same race couples automatically exists whereas between interracial couples it has to be made more obvious and up front. I'm working on it and looking forward to the BC in Melbourne this August. :)

kimtae

May 9th, 2007, 11:34 PM

What our parents never taught us is social or dating skills.You should be happy your parents never taught you dating skills. I shudder at the thought of my dad talking me through the fine art of picking up. And in any case, do you think White guys or Black guys or any other guys are learning dating skills from their parents?

kimtae

May 9th, 2007, 11:49 PM

Kimtae - I read AsianPlayboy's post and it did not strike me as an advertisement of any sort. He gave some very good points. So why attack him? I am tired of go into any Asian American site and deal with the same BS over and BS. Yes we got an IR issue and I am tired of most guys bitch and complain. AsianPlayboy is at least out there doing something about. I think you need to give most guys some credit that they are smart enough to know whether to take him up on his service or not.

Whether you think he made some good points or not, I for one am tired of his sel-promoting and opportunistic postings. He comes here not to discuss any issues though he may bring them up, but rather to sell a service, and I for one am not in the market for the kind of herpes he sports on his face. His one size fits all cures for lonely AM's are, like any miracle cures, full of shit. Yes, he might get a few "lucky" fellas laid, but how does that address the deeper issue of the bottom position of AM's in Western society in general? You think getting a little pussy is going to solve that? Shhheeeeiiit, I'd be the AM Spartacus if that wre true.
You think he's some kind of Dr. Phil for the lonely Am? He's nothing but a scam artist out to take dollars from the weak of will and soft of mind. He's only here to mine for marks, Think I'm wrong? How many other discussions does he join in? On what issues does he leave any of his wisdom or advice? None. He's just here to drum up business for his Snake oil.
http://www.quizwiz.biz/biz/samquiz/QQpics/snake-oil.jpg

Scowl

May 10th, 2007, 12:16 AM

Damn. I've got to use the name "Dr. Shmoo" for something.

kimtae

May 10th, 2007, 12:51 AM

Old Dr. Shmoo. The "Old" lends the name a certain gravitas.

DONKEY

May 10th, 2007, 01:46 AM

hey ladies and gentlemen, i just made $2 MILLION last year and it was EASY.
i just got back from vacation and i feel GREAT. you can feel GREAT too!
in fact, you can do ANYTHING, EVERYDAY
let me show you how!!
http://www.glug.com/getrich/pyramid.jpg
IT'S THAT EASY!!!!!!

Candide

May 10th, 2007, 03:02 AM

Yes, he might get a few "lucky" fellas laid, but how does that address the deeper issue of the bottom position of AM's in Western society in general?

You cannot tackle such issues with a big bang move. You have to take it one small step at a time, and everyone contributes a little bit. For all the goods that F44 has done, this forum and its members as a whole have not seriously tackled any deep issue that affects the AA community either. You lot don't even have a voice nor a significant reputation in the community (let alone North America or the Anglosphere), as much as I like the folks here. So don't throw stones in the glass house.

You also misunderstood this whole PUA thing that APB teaches. If you had bother to look through his materials, you'd realise that it's not about learning a few tricks to get laid. It is about self-development to become the best version of yourself. While obviously the theme of his site is dating and getting laid, the steps one needs to go through bring much bigger benefits than that.

At least he's out there doing something for AMs and he's proven himself. Whether you like his posting and his business or not, it is YOU who have not done shit for the image of AMs, so don't point the finger.

AsianPlayboy

May 10th, 2007, 03:24 AM

Yes, he might get a few "lucky" fellas laid, but how does that address the deeper issue of the bottom position of AM's in Western society in general?

I sleep easy at night knowing that in one year I've done more positive constructive work for AMs than you will in an entire lifetime.

ZhuBaJie

May 10th, 2007, 03:34 AM

I sleep easy at night knowing that in one year I've done more positive constructive work for AMs than you will in an entire lifetime.

yeah i know what you mean. when i think about how my dating tips are helping Asian men get laid, i get a hard-on and i start jerking off.

jaehwan

May 10th, 2007, 03:35 AM

You also misunderstood this whole PUA thing that APB teaches. If you had bother to look through his materials, you'd realise that it's not about learning a few tricks to get laid. It is about self-development to become the best version of yourself. While obviously the theme of his site is dating and getting laid, the steps one needs to go through bring much bigger benefits than that.

If it's about becoming the "best version of yourself," why doesn't this dork post anything other than his "tricks to get laid?"

If it smells like snake oil, and it's slimy like snake oil...it's probably snake oil...

I sleep easy at night knowing that in one year I've done more positive constructive work for AMs than you will in an entire lifetime.

*yawn*

AsianPlayboy

May 10th, 2007, 03:47 AM

If it's about becoming the "best version of yourself," why doesn't this dork post anything other than his "tricks to get laid?"

That's part of the Internal portion of this series which discusses the negative limiting beliefs that commonly hold many AMs back from successful IR dating.

JadeDragon

May 10th, 2007, 05:00 AM

You cannot tackle such issues with a big bang move. You have to take it one small step at a time, and everyone contributes a little bit. For all the goods that F44 has done, this forum and its members as a whole have not seriously tackled any deep issue that affects the AA community either. You lot don't even have a voice nor a significant reputation in the community (let alone North America or the Anglosphere), as much as I like the folks here. So don't throw stones in the glass house.

You also misunderstood this whole PUA thing that APB teaches. If you had bother to look through his materials, you'd realise that it's not about learning a few tricks to get laid. It is about self-development to become the best version of yourself. While obviously the theme of his site is dating and getting laid, the steps one needs to go through bring much bigger benefits than that.

At least he's out there doing something for AMs and he's proven himself. Whether you like his posting and his business or not, it is YOU who have not done shit for the image of AMs, so don't point the finger.

You know, Candide, I used to think you were okay. But seriously, all this support from you for something distasteful has changed my mind.

Do you even know what the PUA industry is like? It's like Amway; shills trying to make a quick buck on material that they steal off each other.
-Ross Jeffries proclaims himself the original PUA because he uses NLP in his stuff. Has now been driven out of Straightforward Inc by "Yates Canipe", who sells crap like "Martial Mastery" DVDs by Andrew Scott (a white dude who looks like a creep).
-David DeAngelo, former student of Jeffries, uses the lousy "cocky-but-funny" tactic, which can translate to "treat them mean, keep them keen".
-Mystery, crazy loon using "magick" for stupid David Blaine-loving women, who's into threesomes and breaks down because he needs to be loved.
-Neil Strauss (Style) already broke up with the so-called "love of his life", even though she knew about him being a PUA, because she went after Marilyn Manson.
-Loverboy? Had to be pwned by a white chick before he decided to go in PUA and is still working out his angsty frustration on club chicks.
-David Shade, who writes more about sexually pleasing women than actual PUA, is the only guy I can sort of semi-understand. There's still hypnosis involved in his methods, but there's still a respect for women, albeit twisted.

Seriously, if you want to look at this stuff, use P2P networks and torrents to download them. No point paying for stuff that's worthless and cliched, and won't help you form lasting relationships with women you would LIKE, because all you'd be attracting is insecure, unhappy chicks.

evil_FUX

May 10th, 2007, 05:21 AM

^true dat Jade, true dat.

RebelAzn

May 10th, 2007, 05:37 AM

evil_FUX

May 10th, 2007, 06:01 AM

Lum

May 10th, 2007, 06:26 AM

This "industry" is killing the dating scene for honest, non-objectifying men.

JadeDragon

May 10th, 2007, 06:40 AM

I didn't even know what the hell is a PUA until I read AsianPlayboy's blog a few weeks ago. If you actually read his blog on dating tips for Asian men, it is actually very in depth. Think about it, why was the last time someone actually took the time to write something just for Asian men in America? Stuff out there written for white men don't exactly apply to Asian men 100%.

I think what he teaches is just another way to break out of your shell and go talk to the girl. Sure there are bunch of steps designed to get you laid, but it is up to you how to use it. I am sure the same skill applies whether you are trying to hook up with a girl of your dreams or trying for a quickie. Even if he is selling stuff, I am sure each guy can make his own decision on this. I assume it is just like going to a Tony Robbins seminar or something.

I think for the most part most Asian American men are just too damn nice, that's why white media think we are easy target. If all the Asian men are out there getting laid, I am sure it would be hard to pin that asexual stereotype on us.

I realize most people love to criticize. Seriously, if you are going to criticize someone you better show us a better way. If you don't, then you contributed nothing to the topic.

I understand your concern for your fellow Asian men, and really, I would support such a venture if it were honestly aiming to help men and women get together, but it's not.

PUA circles and forums are crowded with men who want nothing more than to find women to fuck, as a validation of their male egos. These are the sorts of people you would not want to be friends with in real life. Most of them are white, and it's not surprising that they use PUA tactics to score Asian chicks to assuage their fetish. APB acts like he wants to help Asian men, but he looks down on those who truly need the help, unless they give him money. If you were already good with the ladies, you would be an AMOG/competition to him, and that's not really in the spirit of so-called Asian solidarity. And notice how many of the chicks he meets are from clubs? What are the chances of one of them being the kind of girl you can be with in a long-term relationship? (If you're looking for sex, I guess you could just follow Atlasien's advice about lowering your standards in the first place.)

AZN Man (another 44s poster) has more sensible advice for meeting women if you ask him, and guess what? He gives it for free. That's someone who truly cares about helping, and isn't out to make a quick buck.

Vahz

May 10th, 2007, 10:45 AM

Good points, Jade.

Just another reason for me to be wary of clubs and bars though the ones populated by Asians seem to be fine. I tend to find that Asian-man-hating Asian women hang out in "white bars."

I've never understood the appeal of sleeping around with random women. If that's your bag, by all means but it just seems a bit odd for me personally.

At any rate, where *is* AZN MAN? It's been awhile since I've seen him around.

Candide

May 10th, 2007, 12:24 PM

<blah>

I don't know much about other PUAs nor the industry. I've only read what AsianPlayboy has posted on his blog. If you have any criticism of his materials, post it here and I'll pay attention.

As for the men that you criticize, I don't think you or I know them personally, but it sounds like you're criticizing them for being human and you're making a lot of assumptions.

APB acts like he wants to help Asian men, but he looks down on those who truly need the help, unless they give him money. If you were already good with the ladies, you would be an AMOG/competition to him, and that's not really in the spirit of so-called Asian solidarity.

....

AZN Man (another 44s poster) has more sensible advice for meeting women if you ask him, and guess what? He gives it for free. That's someone who truly cares about helping, and isn't out to make a quick buck.

Have you actually seen APB's blogs? He gives a lot of advices for free. I don't know who AZN Man is, but are his advices proven to work? Nope. APB's advices are.

And notice how many of the chicks he meets are from clubs? What are the chances of one of them being the kind of girl you can be with in a long-term relationship? (If you're looking for sex, I guess you could just follow Atlasien's advice about lowering your standards in the first place.)

He teaches skills. They can be applied in any environment. If clubs aren't your thing, there are other places. As for your "lowering your standards" comment, get real.

This "industry" is killing the dating scene for honest, non-objectifying men.

I wouldn't say all, but many in this "industry" are honest and non-objectifying men. Seriously you have a very wrong idea about those who are learning to be better with women. They are taught some skills. Whether they use them for "good" or "evil", one-nighters or relationship, is up to them. Your so-called "honest and non-objectifying" men don't happen to be also known as sore losers, do they?

I'm done discussing with closed-minded folks. I'll just quote RebelAzn here:

I realize most people love to criticize. Seriously, if you are going to criticize someone you better show us a better way. If you don't, then you contributed nothing to the topic.

Lum

May 10th, 2007, 01:39 PM

I wouldn't say all, but many in this "industry" are honest and non-objectifying men. Seriously you have a very wrong idea about those who are learning to be better with women. They are taught some skills. Whether they use them for "good" or "evil", one-nighters or relationship, is up to them. Your so-called "honest and non-objectifying" men don't happen to be also known as sore losers, do they?

Actually I was referring to the single women who are now aware that these predatorial horn-dogs walk among them. It would be one thing if these techniques were passed down in coded whispers and secret handshakes, but instead we have scores of women who are walking around at DEFCON 1 expecting to be ambushed by anything with a penis. These men are building something and it's not male empowerment. They're building lesbian factories.

Scowl

May 10th, 2007, 01:48 PM

They're building lesbian factories.

If I were to ever start a girl-power chick band, I would name it "Lesbian Factory."

jaehwan

May 10th, 2007, 03:08 PM

Rebel,

You've been pretty nice to everyone since you've been here, and I think you're being genuine. So I'm going to post at least this one serious response. No guarantees after this though.

First, let me say this: you and Candide are saying that Asian Wannabe has something of value and that he has proven himself. I disagree with the statement that his "product" has any value, and he hasn't proven anything to me one way or another, so we're coming from different perspectives.

Here's my perspective:

I'm in sales. It's what I do for a living, and it's what I've done for most of my ten years in business. I don't know if sales are a metaphor for picking up women--probably a loose metaphor at best since choosing a life partner is a much more crucial decision than selling a service or product--but the parallels are there: you need to put yourself out there, call, and establish relationships. You need to think of creative ways of getting in the door. Most prospects will slam the door on your face, but you have to keep going day after day.

In sales, we have our sales trainers. There are people who make money off motivating and teaching others how to sell. I see nothing wrong with this. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my own coaches in the business when I was first getting started. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my own (unpaid) mentors now who still keep my attitude up when I face setbacks. However, in sales training, there are good products and there are bad products. A guy like Tony Robbins teaches you life skills; some might find it useful, some might not. I personally don't find Robbins to be all that useful in my life, but I'll admit that he teaches good life skills and ethics. It's not all that deep, but it attempts to be, and it attempts to help people live a good life, and so I don't criticize Robbins.

Asian Wannabe's products, on the other hand, teach scamming. I don't like it for the same reason I don't like the average used car salesman. It's tacky, and if you're not a natural scammer, it's dishonest. Plus it looks down on the people whom you are trying to "sell" to. If his clients think that women are dumb enough to fall for the crap that APB publishes, they've got other issues. The average used car salesman is similar to Asian Wannabe--he just wants to make a sale. He doesn't care whether or not it's the product the customer (or the woman, in Wannabe's case) needs, nor does he care about realtionships; he just wants to get something out of it.

How can you respect that?

If you think this is respectable, ask yourself this: would you tell everyone if you were his client? Most likely, you'd be ashamed. Or you'd keep it a secret. How can it be empowering if you have to keep it in the dark?

Even if he is selling stuff, I am sure each guy can make his own decision on this. I assume it is just like going to a Tony Robbins seminar or something.

That's not the point. Just the same way people hate spam, people also hate it when spam finds its way to message boards. I know I do.

I realize most people love to criticize. Seriously, if you are going to criticize someone you better show us a better way. If you don't, then you contributed nothing to the topic.

Just be yourself. It's what kimtae and others are doing, and I'm sure it carries to the people around them (and no, I can't personally vouch for this, but neither can I vouch for Wannabe's activities). It's a better way.

JadeDragon

May 10th, 2007, 03:25 PM

Actually I was referring to the single women who are now aware that these predatorial horn-dogs walk among them. It would be one thing if these techniques were passed down in coded whispers and secret handshakes, but instead we have scores of women who are walking around at DEFCON 1 expecting to be ambushed by anything with a penis. These men are building something and it's not male empowerment. They're building lesbian factories.

Ambushed by a penis, you say?

http://modblog.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/200611161759-pix1.jpg

Click here for the uncensored version. =P
http://modblog.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/200611161759-pix2.jpg

Vahz

May 10th, 2007, 04:13 PM

Know what else is pretty useful?

Those self help books on how to better communicate with people.

evil_FUX

May 10th, 2007, 06:04 PM

^Exactly why I posted that For Dummies link. Now where's my $300?

RebelAzn

May 10th, 2007, 08:20 PM

Rebel,

You've been pretty nice to everyone since you've been here, and I think you're being genuine. So I'm going to post at least this one serious response. No guarantees after this though.

First, let me say this: you and Candide are saying that Asian Wannabe has something of value and that he has proven himself. I disagree with the statement that his "product" has any value, and he hasn't proven anything to me one way or another, so we're coming from different perspectives.

Here's my perspective:

I'm in sales. It's what I do for a living, and it's what I've done for most of my ten years in business. I don't know if sales are a metaphor for picking up women--probably a loose metaphor at best since choosing a life partner is a much more crucial decision than selling a service or product--but the parallels are there: you need to put yourself out there, call, and establish relationships. You need to think of creative ways of getting in the door. Most prospects will slam the door on your face, but you have to keep going day after day.

In sales, we have our sales trainers. There are people who make money off motivating and teaching others how to sell. I see nothing wrong with this. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my own coaches in the business when I was first getting started. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have my own (unpaid) mentors now who still keep my attitude up when I face setbacks. However, in sales training, there are good products and there are bad products. A guy like Tony Robbins teaches you life skills; some might find it useful, some might not. I personally don't find Robbins to be all that useful in my life, but I'll admit that he teaches good life skills and ethics. It's not all that deep, but it attempts to be, and it attempts to help people live a good life, and so I don't criticize Robbins.

Asian Wannabe's products, on the other hand, teach scamming. I don't like it for the same reason I don't like the average used car salesman. It's tacky, and if you're not a natural scammer, it's dishonest. Plus it looks down on the people whom you are trying to "sell" to. If his clients think that women are dumb enough to fall for the crap that APB publishes, they've got other issues. The average used car salesman is similar to Asian Wannabe--he just wants to make a sale. He doesn't care whether or not it's the product the customer (or the woman, in Wannabe's case) needs, nor does he care about realtionships; he just wants to get something out of it.

How can you respect that?

If you think this is respectable, ask yourself this: would you tell everyone if you were his client? Most likely, you'd be ashamed. Or you'd keep it a secret. How can it be empowering if you have to keep it in the dark?

Jaehwan -Appreciate your input. I think we have to take the training as just training. It basically teaches you how to approach women. Now if your intention to use these methods to take advantage of women, then that's on your own conscious. If you approach this as a way to improve your ability to talk to women in general and hopefully improve your overall dating life to attract the woman of your dreams, then more power to you. From my own observations, some Asian men do need some help in this area regardless how successful they are in their professional field. I lost count how many times I have heard from white, Latino and black women that told me "I didn't know Asian men are interested in dating women who are non-Asian. I thought they are only interested in Asian women." What does this mean? It means most Asian men don't approach women in general and that include Asian women.

If you actually read APB's blog, you will see he has many good points about dating in general from an Asian man's perspective. Most of the articles there are free and is a good read. Since we are in the dating forum area, he has every right to contribute like other posters.

Also, we need more Asians going into sales & marketing field instead of just being doctors and engineers.

kwak76

May 10th, 2007, 08:33 PM

Even though I don't agree with Asianplayboy ..I kind of have to defend him.

Some people think he is exploiting the situation where as others think he is just beating his own chest .

I think there are some Asian men that do need a "big brother" to help in the dating game. I'm not 100 % sure if Asianplayboy is the one but shit I don't really see anyone else stepping up.

People may disagree with the player lifestyle and may consider it selfish or whatever but I think asianplayboy is trying to show other asian men that if he could do it than so can you.

Even asianplayboy admits that he is only 5'6 and weighs at 140 dripping wet but get girls with skills.

I do admit he does brag allot and I have my own suspicions of him but I think for some asian guys out there. They would rather turn to another asian guy in how to approach girls than a white guy.

Lum

May 10th, 2007, 10:29 PM

Ambushed by a penis, you say?

http://modblog.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/200611161759-pix1.jpg

Click here for the uncensored version. =P
http://modblog.bmezine.com/wp-content/uploads/200611161759-pix2.jpg

LMAO...hey, I know her! j/k.

Hadouken

May 10th, 2007, 11:51 PM

Ambushed by a penis, you say?

Okay, Jade. What were you doing with this picture? ;)

Hadouken

May 11th, 2007, 12:25 AM

Jaehwan -Appreciate your input. I think we have to take the training as just training. It basically teaches you how to approach women. Now if your intention to use these methods to take advantage of women, then that's on your own conscious. If you approach this as a way to improve your ability to talk to women in general and hopefully improve your overall dating life to attract the woman of your dreams, then more power to you. From my own observations, some Asian men do need some help in this area regardless how successful they are in their professional field. I lost count how many times I have heard from white, Latino and black women that told me "I didn't know Asian men are interested in dating women who are non-Asian. I thought they are only interested in Asian women." What does this mean? It means most Asian men don't approach women in general and that include Asian women.

If you actually read APB's blog, you will see he has many good points about dating in general from an Asian man's perspective. Most of the articles there are free and is a good read. Since we are in the dating forum area, he has every right to contribute like other posters.

Also, we need more Asians going into sales & marketing field instead of just being doctors and engineers.

Problem is, AM will need to have an interest in interracial relationships to begin with (and I don't mean with just WF). There are still too many barriers caused by racists stereotypes that these PUA techniques do not even bother to address. In fact, I think it's made worse by further dehumanizing social interaction. Mutual sharing of interests and ideas no longer come into play. Instead, it's all about who can tell the better lie, or who has the better "game". The rush for short-term instant gratification replaces the long-term discovery and understanding that's supposed to bridge the difference between two strangers and develop deeper relationships. The whole deal is just very cynical and shortsighted. You're merely replacing a shy, racist AM with a brash, arrogant racist AM.

Yes, there are plenty of people out there who do not care for relationships. But, like Lum said, get too caught up in the game and you risk harming somebody who's seeking a more meaningful experience, and no, I don't think most PUAs give a damn. IMO, this "collateral" damage is hardly worth the quest for cheap sex, especially if you worry about the larger issues of racism. There's already too damn few open-minded women out there willing to give AM a fair chance without these PUAs making us seem cheap and shallow on top of all the other negative stereotypes.

RebelAzn

May 11th, 2007, 07:54 AM

Problem is, AM will need to have an interest in interracial relationships to begin with (and I don't mean with just WF). There are still too many barriers caused by racists stereotypes that these PUA techniques do not even bother to address. In fact, I think it's made worse by further dehumanizing social interaction. Mutual sharing of interests and ideas no longer come into play. Instead, it's all about who can tell the better lie, or who has the better "game". The rush for short-term instant gratification replaces the long-term discovery and understanding that's supposed to bridge the difference between two strangers and develop deeper relationships. The whole deal is just very cynical and shortsighted. You're merely replacing a shy, racist AM with a brash, arrogant racist AM.

Yes, there are plenty of people out there who do not care for relationships. But, like Lum said, get too caught up in the game and you risk harming somebody who's seeking a more meaningful experience, and no, I don't think most PUAs give a damn. IMO, this "collateral" damage is hardly worth the quest for cheap sex, especially if you worry about the larger issues of racism. There's already too damn few open-minded women out there willing to give AM a fair chance without these PUAs making us seem cheap and shallow on top of all the other negative stereotypes.

I think this thread is taking an ugly turn. We started discussing how dating is different for AMs due to the environment here and now the thread is turning into attack on PUAs. The whole point for the thread is acknowledging how USA has created a very unfriendly dating environment for AMs purely due to racism and stereotypes. APB just pointed out some of the reasons why and everyone attacked him for being a snake oil salesman.

I want to make it clear I don't condone the behavior of PUAs. I don't believe in playing mind games with women just to get laid. I don't believe PUA tactics can sustain a long term relationship. I doubt the kind of women that fall so easily to those pick up tactics are the type I want to get with anyway. I thought the whole point of the thread is to give some pointers to AMs so they are not damn shy when it comes to approaching women and that include Asian women too.

Once again, this is not a thread about attacking PUAs. It really should be about how Asian men should overcome their mental programming and go out to date like any other normal guy. If a PUA like APB can help you overcome that mental block, then his method works. You as a man need to decide how to use that method to attract the type of the woman you are looking for.

Vahz

May 11th, 2007, 09:12 AM

I want to make it clear I don't condom the behavior of PUAs. I don't believe in playing mind games with women just to get laid. I don't believe PUA tactics can sustain a long term relationship. I doubt the kind of women that fall so easily to those pick up tactics are the type I want to get with anyway. I thought the whole point of the thread is to give some pointers to AMs so they are not damn shy when it comes to approaching women and that include Asian women too.

haha.

I had to read it three times until I realized you meant to say "condone."

At any rate, I think that these PUA tactics can work with both 1-night stand girls or relationship girls because it allows you to break the ice by starting a conversation.

Just because you use their tactics doesn't always mean the woman is going to picture you as a PUA.

I think almost all women can agree that in order for a woman to talk to you, Asian or otherwise, is pretty simple.

Dress well.
Concentrate only on her.
Have a confident and good conversation with her.
Get a good haircut.
Work out.
Smile and laugh.
Let her talk as well; don't just keep focusing on yourself when it comes to talking.
Stop mumbling. Speak up and clearly.
W

The only thing I don't seem to understand is "be confident." It's just so generic a description. What the hell do women mean when they say "he's not confident." WTF does that mean?

I also wanted to point out that everything I've just mentioned goes for all men. Dating woes and social problems aren't just an Asian man's problem, all men seem to suffer when it comes to dating women. The reason why white men don't have as many problems as Asian men is because there are no negative stereotypes, more socially savvy men since they have a larger population size, and very few races will reject advancement from white men (especially Asian women).

Ike

May 11th, 2007, 09:20 AM

The only thing I don't seem to understand is "be confident." It's just so generic a description. What the hell do women mean when they say "he's not confident." WTF does that mean?

When I say it about a guy, I really mean "he's Asian and therefore can't be as good as that fat, mumbling white man over there".

Vahz

May 11th, 2007, 09:22 AM

Though funny, it's a serious question. I really want to know. Heh.

Lum

May 11th, 2007, 11:18 AM

If you're comfortable with yourself around other people, you're confident. If you worry about how they might perceive you, you're not. It's as simple as that.

atlasien

May 11th, 2007, 11:41 AM

Here is some nice free advice:

http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Approachable

It's also free of misogyny and assorted PUA dorkiness.

Lum

May 11th, 2007, 12:45 PM

And a much better approach to male empowerment:

http://www.butler-bowdon.com/ironj.htm

Ike

May 11th, 2007, 01:45 PM

On the same site that atlasien got her advice (I was just clicking around):

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident

Vahz

May 11th, 2007, 02:40 PM

Is that all they mean when they talk about someone being confident? It sounds like all you need to do is smile and be outgoing.

Something I can confirm many Asian men refrain from doing.

cattygurl

May 11th, 2007, 04:49 PM

Confidence carries through in your overall attitude. People that can handle their own baggage (mentally/emotionall speaking) and don't project their insecurities all over the place, for example.

If you're comfortable with yourself around other people, you're confident. If you worry about how they might perceive you, you're not. It's as simple as that.

That's the bottom line.

nskripchun

May 11th, 2007, 07:44 PM

On the same site that atlasien got her advice (I was just clicking around):

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Confident

OT:
I was surprised at how well written this article is... then I found this one:

http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Like-a-Pimp

Hadouken

May 11th, 2007, 10:43 PM

This thread is actually getting way better. One of the things that I seldom see mentioned, but I believe is of great importance is that guys need to have the balls to make mistakes. I'm still having trouble with this myself. Sometimes, I would find myself paralyzed out of fear of saying/doing something wrong or stupid, and let an opportunity slip away. There are also times when I would start a conversation with someone, and have her lose interest moments later. I used to stew all night over this, wondering what I did wrong. Perhaps this falls under confidence, but everyone makes mistakes no matter how confident they are. Guys need to be able to live with their mistakes and move on.

AsianPlayboy

May 15th, 2007, 04:14 AM

To clarify when it comes to manipulation and "type" of girl and all that...

1) I DO NOT TEACH ETHICS - I teach a skill. And that's it. It's picking up women. Included it that are all the LITTLE THINGS that compose the ENTIRETY of CONFIDENCE. Like Body Language, Fashion, Facial Expressions, Smiling, Story Telling, Walking, Sitting, Standing, etc. Oh and WHAT to say when words come out of his mouth and HOW to say it.

While I do not teach GOOD/EVIL, I also do NOT encourage men to lie. A little embellishing or omitting of negative ("I still wet the bed") details is fine. Like Seinfeld joked, "Dating is about sending forth your REPRESENTATIVE." However, if a person CHOOSES to lie, again, that's not something I have control over.

I don't encourage it and I don't discourage it. I let the individual man decide.

2) CLUB GIRLS - Night game is THE best place to PRACTICE approaching, talking, and flirting with women. NOWHERE are you going to find some of the most attractive women CRAMMED into one place for 4 hours.

No mall. No library. No grocery store.

Clubs/bars are, for all intents and purposes, the penultimate place to CHALLENGE oneself when it comes to getting good at approaching TOTAL, ATTRACTIVE STRANGERS.

What a man chooses to do with that, be it one night stands or having the SKILL and CONFIDENCE to approach & talk to the future mother of his child, is up to him. I am neither his mommy, his daddy, nor his marriage counselor.

3) LIFESTYLE - Here's the thing, SEXUAL CONFIDENCE and SOCIAL CONFIDENCE comes from experience. And that's it.

You cannot simply TELL a guy to "Be confident." It has neither practical value nor inherent applications. It's simply a useless platitude thrown out there because one is too lazy to actually address the issue.

As I tell students on the last day, "In order to get the WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS, you need to be the MAN OF HER'S."

Yes, using what I teach can get a guy laid with a really attractive woman. But KEEPING her for a longterm relationship, is an entirely different matter.

And I'm very upfront about this. I teach a skillset that helps in the short and medium term. Each individual man has his own wants, desires, and goals. I neither judge nor try to change his mind. It's his life and his decision to do whatever he will with whatever he learned.

Improving one's life is a long term, permanent endeavor outside of Pick Up. But that's up to each individual man to decide what path to take.

I just teach how an Asian guy can get laid using either training wheels or purely natural- albeit painful- methods. The rest... is up to him.

P.S. Adios for now. I'm off to Iceland, London, Scotland, and Ireland.

Vahz

May 16th, 2007, 07:25 PM

http://www.seacoastonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070511/OPINION04/70511017/-1/OPINION05

Racial preferences in the dating world

By Steve Penner
pennerst@hotmail.com
May 11, 2007 7:32 AM

One of the more delicate areas I dealt with while running a dating service for more than two decades was the issue of race, and more specifically racial stereotyping by prospective members.

Stereotyping in itself is a volatile issue, and at some point during intake interviews, I often repeated the phrase “While there is some truth to all stereotypes, there are certainly many exceptions to every single one.”

However, when one is dealing with a sample of more than 20,000 single, divorced, and widowed men and women, I feel confident and comfortable making certain statements in a column titled The Truth about Dating.

Yet I was still hesitant to write this column, until a reader sent me an article from The New York Times, in which the author, John Tierney, published a story about racial preferences in the dating world.

Moreover, the article cited a study titled Racial Preferences in Dating that documented the preferences of more than 400 participants in speed dating sessions at Columbia University. A quick reading of both the Times article and the Columbia study seemed to support my own anecdotal findings.

(Unfortunately while reading the Columbia study I was overcome by the academic verbiage that authors of such studies feel compelled to use. Do they teach “Boring Writing 101” at Ivy League institutions of higher learning? I found it impossible to read more than a few pages without getting a headache. Here is a sample sentence: “Rates of inter-racial marriages thus capture both preferences and socio-geographic segregation.” Huh?)

Anyway, here is what I found in 23 years of interviewing singles, and I will attempt to communicate in my best “non-academic” language. When we interviewed prospective members, we always asked what their preferences were in terms of meeting people of different races.

Overall, women of most races preferred to meet men of their own race. Most Caucasian women wanted only to meet Caucasian men, the exceptions being women who were more educated and well-traveled, who considered themselves somewhat “worldly.”

Of all the races, African-American women were the most insistent about wanting to meet only African-American men. But most of those women excluded black men who had recently moved to New England from Africa or the Caribbean.

The one major exception to the finding that women wanted to meet men of their own race was Asian women, a vast majority of whom stated that they strongly preferred meeting non-Asian men.

The primary explanation offered by most Asian women was that they wanted to be matched with tall men, and they insisted that practically all of the Asian men they knew were short. But when I would ask if they would be willing to meet an Asian man if he were tall, most would simply shake their head and say they would rather not.

And what about Indian women? To be honest the sample of Indian women who joined my dating service more than 23 years was too small to determine any general statements about them.

As for men, overall they were far more open to meeting women of other races. In fact, and I find this especially interesting, the race of women most in demand were, you guessed it, Asian women. Therefore, almost all of the Asian women in my dating service had a very high Dating Quotient.

When I asked men to explain their preferences for Asian women, many shrugged and admitted they were just extremely attracted to them. But I also believe that many of these men, consciously or subconsciously, wanted to meet women who fit the stereotype of the submissive “Geisha girl,” whose primary purpose is to entertain and please men.

Interestingly enough, though, most of the Asian women we interviewed could not have had personalities more opposite than that passive stereotype. Many had Ph.Ds., M.D.s, or law degrees, and were extremely assertive. (Especially when I tried in vain to persuade them to consider meeting Asian men!)

Unfortunately for African-American women, most of the African-American men who joined stated a strong preference for meeting either white or Asian women. Many expressed the identical view, “I don’t have to join a dating service to meet women of my own race.”

The two groups of men who were the most difficult to match (and therefore had the lowest DQ) were Asian men and Indian men. Like African men, this was especially true of Asian and Indian men who had grown up overseas and relocated to New England, usually to pursue careers either in computer science or medicine. In a few cases I could persuade women to meet men of different races, IF the men were totally “Americanized.”

Of course Asian men were difficult to match because, as I previously stated, the one group of women who did not want to meet men of their own race was Asian women.

As for Indian men, they were the hardest people to match of any group of men or women of any race. And, with so many Indian men moving into the Boston area for jobs in high tech, rarely a week passed without several inquiries from men from India or Pakistan.

One reason they were difficult to match is that only a handful of Indian women joined over the decades, compared to hundreds of Indian or Pakistani men. But another is that many women, even the self-described “worldly” ones, expressed the stereotypical belief that Indian men had antiquated views of women.

To some extent, these women were correct. For example, of all the men I spoke with who wanted to meet women much younger than themselves, the largest group was, in fact, Indian men. Many told me that it was quite common back “home” for men to date and marry women at least a decade younger than themselves. And they wondered why they could not do the same here … which further lowered their DQ.

So that is the story from my own anecdotal experiences. Again, I am sure there are exceptions to every statement I made in this column. On the other hand, if you want “scientific” proof of what I am stating, just Google and download a copy of Columbia University’s Racial Preferences in Dating study.

But I suggest that if you do, make sure you have a bottle of aspirin nearby.

theme

May 16th, 2007, 07:43 PM

Vahz, practically everyone on this site 'knows' about racial preferences in the article. We've been talking about this for weeks now, and most of us are accustomed to these circumstances in the dating world for probably most of our lives. There's no need to post the same informatin over and over as if we've got chronic amnesia.

Yes, Asian women prefer white looking males.

Yes, White women prefer white males.

This is some serious overkill man.

Most of us here are at the very least in our twenties, we KNOW about the interracial imbalances, we KNOW about the attitudes of Asian women, and there is no need to SHOVE it in our face time and time again. Enough. Talk about something else.

RebelAzn

May 16th, 2007, 08:10 PM

Vahz -

I think you are like the official Asian interracial dating expert. While we get a ton of data, but I hardly ever hear anyone make any suggestions to solve the problem. While it is fine and dandy to show a million data about these issues, but I just don't see anyone with any suggestions. I never been so aware of my Asian-ness since I joined this forum a month ago. Unfortunately, most of the info are pretty negative for Asian men.

While the article was written by a white man I presume, he forgot to mention that Asian women who go to regular American dating services are not there to look for Asian men. Of course, he will get this kind of responses. Most Asian women that want to marry Asian men will most likely get dates through their own social circles or through their parents.

It is too bad some women don't appreciate Asian men's good qualities (well-educated, family oriented, respect the elders etc.) while focusing only on the race and the color of the skin, I am sure these decisions made purely on race will come back and haunt them someday.

Anyway, I think more importantly people should come up with suggestions on how to solve the problem vs. keep repeat the same old data.

USA is very hostile for Asian American men. If you gonna live here, you gonna have to be real tough. If not, I would suggest go live aboard. There are plenty of places far more friendly than USA.

kwak76

May 16th, 2007, 08:14 PM

theme,

you could back off on Vahz. I know how he feels.
Yes, asian women prefer white guys and white girls prefer white men and nobody likes asian guys.

Believe it or not if you go out in the real world there are people that don't know about this.

Granted we are the educated bunch but I know how vahz feels. I think I know why he is posting this.

You may think it is beating a dead horse but within the Asian community we have this big problem. It is a problem and ignoring is not going to help.

For some of us we are trying to find answers or solution to the problem. I think that is why this topic is always brought up.

Personally I think the Asian community won't last without immigration.

I think Vahz is trying to find some sort of hope out of it or answer by repeating the question.

It's kind of like let say in your community you have drug problem. You tell all your friends and your peers and decide to do something about it. Hopefully eventually the drug problem will go away through community activism.

But with the gender divide and so many Asian women not wanting Asian men..as far as I see I don't know if there is a solution.

For some of us Asian guys we just have a hard time with it.

RebelAzn

May 16th, 2007, 08:36 PM

I agree with Kwak. We got a community issue. It is going to get worst for the Asian community. Like he said, we won't have much of a community anymore if immigration stops tomorrow. While Asian women might think this is not their problem, their sons will go through this again whether they are mixed or not. Information like this will educate people. Hell, I learned more about what's going on with Asian American issues the last month than I probablly did in the last 5 years. If nothing else, at least it will show the ugly racism within our own community. This gender issue is getting pretty bad to say the least. The worst thing is most Asian women are not getting behind on this issue. They rather stay silence and continue to perpetuating the same stereotypes so they won't upset the white majority.

It almost make me feel like I am abnormal. Are other Asian men really not getting any dates? Are they really having that much of a hard time in real life? I can only speak for myself and my brothers. All the women I have dated (and there are many of them with bunch being Asian women) must be the abnormal ones I guess. Most of my brothers are married and I have only one who is out there dating right now. He is in NYC and he said Asian women expect the most from him. He is currently dating 4 women (latest update) and one of them is Asian along with 2 white women and a Latina. My other younger brother was in the military academy who dated mostly white women until he met a nice Asian girl and married her. According to these articles, I guess we are not the typical Asian men if indeed it is as bad as it reads.

Maybe rest of the Asian men here can share their own experiences. Personally, I ran into maybe 2 CCBs in my life while I was dating. Maybe there were more but they did not tell it to my face. The only 2 I heard it from someone else too. Of course I am not naive enough to know they are not out there. I did however have dated a few Asian women who said I was their first Asian boyfriend. Some of them were kind of whitewashed but after dating me, I think some of them did date other Asians after that. Also, I think it is much easier to change for example a white girl's stereotypes of Asians than an Asian woman's. The Asian woman who is overly conscious of being Asian in an all white society is bound to have other identity and self esteem issues than just rejecting Asian men.

theme

May 16th, 2007, 08:54 PM

God, if you guys could only see yourself as most people surely do noone would want to date you either.

Okay then, commence with the status quo.

RebelAzn

May 16th, 2007, 09:03 PM

God, if you guys could only see yourself as most people surely do noone would want to date you either.

Okay then, commence with the status quo.

You know, you got to be one of the most negative person I have ever read. Other than negative comments one after another, I don't see you contributing any as far as solution to the issue. All I see you is bashing other posters while adding almost nil in a positive way to any of the discussion. Did you ever think not all of us are here to discuss this because we can't get a date?

Vahz

May 16th, 2007, 09:09 PM

kwak76

May 16th, 2007, 09:18 PM

theme,

relax buddy...just relax..

How is this thread the cause of the gender divide?

the stuff that vahz post does not maintain the status que. This thread is not about us looking for booty but something that is happening to our community.

theme

May 16th, 2007, 09:20 PM

You know, you got to be one of the most negative person I have ever read. Other than negative comments one after another, I don't see you contributing any as far as solution to the issue. All I see you is bashing other posters while adding almost nil in a positive way to any of the discussion. Did you ever think not all of us are here to discuss this because we can't get a date?

You know, after numerous exchanges with you I'm not entirely sold on your ability to comprehend english. What you call 'negative' and 'bashing' I would rather just call intra-community policing. Asian men HAVE to have a difference of opinions. For every half a dozen whiny Asian men, there has to be ONE that refuses to go that route. Thank GOD I have a brother and a cousin who don't complain about AF/WM day in and day out even though they are caught in the same circumstances as you guys are. There is nothing more unattractive than an Asian guy who whines and whines. Do you have any idea how one dimensional you all are? You're ONE dimensional. And I wonder where the hell that stereotypes come from. Well it's staring me right in the bloody f*cking face.

I am ALL for 'correcting' the situation but this is not the way to do it. I have been on forums for 20 years and it's the same shit OVER and OVER. This is beating a horse LONG after it's been dead. There is absolutely NOTHING that you guys are bringing up that hasn't been addressed millions of times. Enough is Enough.

There are quite a few well adjusted guys on here, but there are also many who are just obviously nothing but a bunch of whiny Asian males. You're one dimensional and whiny and you've got nothing better to offer than the next guy. NOTHING better than the next guy.

If you want to stand out and impress girls go out and be an athlete. Dominate a sport. Make a room laugh. Donate to charity. Write a best selling novel. Save a cat from a tree.

Anything but this internet whiny shit.

[/end rant]

wipe my tushy

May 16th, 2007, 09:26 PM

I agree with Kwak.

I think what Vahz is doing is the right thing. No, its not good to constantly whine about this issue of asian women chasing white guys.
However, its good to organize your thoughts on the matter, size it up, know what you are dealing with.

Personally I think this problem has a lot to do with the media. Asian kids growing up are bombarded with images of white people, and so they become the beautiful, adored people. Even in NYC chinatown, there is a big ass poster of the next oceans 11 movie, the size of a building with the George Clooney and a bunch of other white people's mugs on it.

What other ethnic enclave would they put such a poster up on?
I know a Taiwanese housewife who can barely speak English but is up to date on all the details of American celebs.

I remember when I was in highschool and junior high many years ago, a lot of white girls said that they thought black guys were ugly and they all looked the same. Well, thanks to MTV and the media/hollywood, that has changed a great deal. When will Asian men get some justice? Maybe as China and the rest of the asian countries spread their own influence.

theme

May 16th, 2007, 09:29 PM

Okay I'm done with this topic. There's nothing here that I haven't already covered on other forums.

RebelAzn

May 16th, 2007, 09:47 PM

There is a difference between whining and actually see the real problem for what it is. If you think it is whining when there is obvious racism within the Asian American community, then you are totally out of touch with what's going on.

I realize there are plenty of men who do whine. Well, those guys also have self esteem issues and they believed in the social programming. Due to that, they limited themselves and blame everything on race. Frankly, not all the dating problems are due to race. There are plenty of Asian men who are proving it otherwise and I have number of them within my immediate social circle. Men who blame everything on race got other self esteem issues.

Some of us are already dating/married to beautiful women. However, it does not mean we are not concerned about future of the Asian American community and what our kids will have to deal with when they grow up.

I think there is a lot of ignorance of these issues even within the Asian American community. What Vahz is doing is providing data to educate people. Regardless whether it will change their dating habits, but at least they should know why they do what they do and force maybe some of them to examine their own attitudes. If nothing else, it will examine root cause of the problem in more details than just hash the same old interracial disparity data. The result data is merely the result of years of media brainwashing and stereotypes.

Even for white, black or Latino girls, once they dated an Asian man they would most likely be much more open-minded to date the next one. If nothing else, it will force more Asian men to step out of their own comfort zone and just get out there.

wipe my tushy

May 16th, 2007, 09:56 PM

You know, after numerous exchanges with you I'm not entirely sold on your ability to comprehend english. What you call 'negative' and 'bashing' I would rather just call intra-community policing. Asian men HAVE to have a difference of opinions. For every half a dozen whiny Asian men, there has to be ONE that refuses to go that route. Thank GOD I have a brother and a cousin who don't complain about AF/WM day in and day out even though they are caught in the same circumstances as you guys are. There is nothing more unattractive than an Asian guy who whines and whines. Do you have any idea how one dimensional you all are? You're ONE dimensional. And I wonder where the hell that stereotypes come from. Well it's staring me right in the bloody f*cking face.

I am ALL for 'correcting' the situation but this is not the way to do it. I have been on forums for 20 years and it's the same shit OVER and OVER. This is beating a horse LONG after it's been dead. There is absolutely NOTHING that you guys are bringing up that hasn't been addressed millions of times. Enough is Enough.

There are quite a few well adjusted guys on here, but there are also many who are just obviously nothing but a bunch of whiny Asian males. You're one dimensional and whiny and you've got nothing better to offer than the next guy. NOTHING better than the next guy.

If you want to stand out and impress girls go out and be an athlete. Dominate a sport. Make a room laugh. Donate to charity. Write a best selling novel. Save a cat from a tree.

Anything but this internet whiny shit.

[/end rant]

actually, I consider myself well-adjusted. I have a beautiful girlfriend, soon to be fiance. I also have a very fulfilling career that involves helping people.

However, I am a late bloomer and I just can't forget where I once was, and I feel for guys who are in the situation I felt I was in - depressed, feeling of no hope, no one wants an asian guy, etc
It took me literal proof with a pretty girl falling in love with me for me to see that it was possible. It would have saved me a lot of pain if I had known this my entire life. The mental state of mind is powerful. In this respect, maybe APB has a point.

RebelAzn

May 16th, 2007, 10:17 PM

actually, I consider myself well-adjusted. I have a beautiful girlfriend, soon to be fiance. I also have a very fulfilling career that involves helping people.

However, I am a late bloomer and I just can't forget where I once was, and I feel for guys who are in the situation I felt I was in - depressed, feeling of no hope, no one wants an asian guy, etc
It took me literal proof with a pretty girl falling in love with me for me to see that it was possible. It would have saved me a lot of pain if I had known this my entire life. The mental state of mind is powerful. In this respect, maybe APB has a point.

APB definitely has a point. Many guys here who bash him don't have a clue that 99% of any relationship is the mental game. While many men blame everything on race, it is more the mental state. What the media and racism do to Asian American men is really fucking with their minds and that translate to other issues. Like I have said many times, Asian men from Asia are far more secure with their identities than Asians born here in the USA. Asians born here are pretty fucked in the head and that goes to both men and women. I got training from dating white women since I was young. I was ignorant of all these racial issues and I grew up with mostly white people around me. Thank god I established my own self identity when I was young. If I was reading these forums when I was young, I wonder if I would be self conscious of my race all the time too.

Vahz

May 17th, 2007, 12:55 AM

Just for the record, I never talk about this topic when I'm out so my friends aren't even aware that I'm concerned about this issue.

AZN MAN

May 21st, 2007, 03:41 AM

AZN Man (another 44s poster) has more sensible advice for meeting women if you ask him, and guess what? He gives it for free. That's someone who truly cares about helping, and isn't out to make a quick buck.

Wow! Thanks for the plug Jade.

I invested about 45 minutes of time reading through this thread and APB's website. I found the PUA content and the thread responses quite interesting, so I thought I'd spend some time and offer some of my personal tips and some experiences for discussion. And by no means do I think of myself as a playa or an APB wannabe; I'm just a regular guy like you guys here.

Although some women here may object to this list, in my experience these traits are the general consensus for single/available women:

1. Wealth/Power.
2. Celebrity Status.
3. Model looks/physique.
4. Personality.

In that order. The overwhelming majority of men will never achieve the first 3, so it's absolutely essential that you work on your personality. In my experience, humor is tops. Your goal is to make a woman feel good about herself when she's with you; this way she'll remember you and want to experience that feeling again, and again, and again.

Key Items that I Keep in Mind:
1. I don't have expectations. This develops a positive mindset that is immune to discouragement, and when you convey this mindset to a woman, it helps break down her defensive walls. Basically, you're telling her that you'd like to spend time getting to know her, perhaps be her friend, and let's see what happens from there. It's not about find, fuck, forget.

2. I don't care what other people think of me. I'm going to do what I want, I'm not going to let any criticism stop me from accomplishing a goal. Sometimes it takes a while; be patient but never lose sight of your goal.

3. There is NO available/single woman that is off limits. All this BS that some women are out of your league is just that ... BS.

4. Humor humor humor. I can't emphasize this one enough. Don't try to be funny, naturally be funny. Make a woman laugh with you, not at you.

5. Listen to the woman and watch her body language very closely. I never know what I'm going to say to a woman when I approach her; I read her body language, study her fashion & appearance, and listen very closely to her responses when I speak to her so I know how to proceed.

6. The most successful daters are the men who get turned down the most. Reality!

7. Eye contact. Always look into a woman's eyes when you're talking to her, you'll be surprised at the results. And, don't look at her breasts while you're talking to her if you've just approached her. Smack!

8. Learn how to speak in women's talk. A common mistake for men is that they believe women should be more like men; well they're not because they're women. They have different methods for conveying their points, are generally smarter than men in the dating game, and too many men just don't get it.

I'll give you an example: I know this guy who emailed a woman and asked her if she would be his guest at a film screening. She replied with, "Why don't you ask a couple of your other friends to go with you, I'll just be a backup." Later this guy says to me that she'll go with him if he gets turned down by two other girls. Uh, no you loser; she just tossed you into her limp eternity. Point: Learn to translate women's talk.

One of my personal factors that presents an opportunity is this: When I'm in a public environment and I make eye contact with a woman and we both acknowledge this exchange, it's no big deal. However, in the event that eye contact is made and acknowledged a second time, I'm going in.

One of the biggest fears for men is that they're not good enough in some way for a woman they've identified as their "target". LOSE that mentality, NOW! I played competitive sports and I have to win ... period. I hate losing so I'll do whatever it takes to win, even if I have to cut out my opponent's heart and serve it back to him on a plate. That killer instinct is what drives me; my fave NBA players Kobe Bryant and Tim Duncan have it, Bruce Lee had it - that's the instinct you want to develop. Remember, losing is unacceptable; if a woman turns you down, immediately move on to the next potential woman.

Now for 2 experiences:

I was at a Restaurant with a couple of friends and there were some fine looking ladies in there. Both of my friends are constantly daring me to approach a woman so they can watch; they like to say that they live their lives vicariously through me since they're both married with children and their lives are boring. Whatever.

One friend spotted a pretty Chinese lady and said go. OK. I got up and walked past her, giving her eye contact (This was not one of those instances of 2 acknowledgements of eye contact). She looked at me, looked away, and looked again. The key here is that I never broke my eye contact with her (In the eyes, btw).

She actually spoke before I did. She politely said, "Hi, how are you?" Translation: I'm available to talk. And talk we did. She was very laid back and friendly so I'll see her again. When I returned to my friends, they laughed. Well, just then a HOT Filipina woman walked in the place, accompanied by some white dood.

She was dressed very fashionably but had her arms folded and walked in front of the guy. She also opened the door herself. My analysis: He's just a friend or platonic companion, and there's no way in Hell he's digging into that. Disclaimer: In no way was I thinking that because she's Asian I gotta represent and bring this woman back to the Azn side - relationships just don't work that way.

They got their food and sat outside. When it came time for us to leave, I made a point to tell my friends that I'd join them in a few minutes. One of my friends tried to convince me to go back and talk to the Chinese lady again and not to bother with the Filipina because he sensed she was high maintenance and not good relationship material. Well, I didn't care. I turned around and walked directly to the table where this woman and her companion were sitting. The convo went something like this:

Me: Hi. I have to tell you when I saw you walk in, I noticed that you have a flair for fashion. You know how to pick out clothing that really highlights your physical attributes.

(Translation: That's woman speak. In men speak it's you're hot, and yo' body is rockin')

Her: (Giggles). Oh thank you. (Giggles)

Me: I've never seen you around her before, do you work around here?

Her: I work on the Disney lot. This is my friend.

(I was right. She was just hanging with the guy.)

Me: Well, I'm short of time due to my busy schedule so I don't have time to talk. Do you have an email address?

Her: Oh; I have a boyfriend.

(No hesitation; she's probably telling the truth)

Me: (Smile). Too bad, now you'll never know. (Smile)

Her: (Giggles). Thanks for asking. (Giggles)

Dood's jaw was on the table, and I didn't give a rat's ass what he thought of me. I walk away, she's still giggling. Now the point here is that even though I got turned down (I'll admit I was very aggressive and straight to the point - a result of the body language she gave off), I gave a favorable impression. The key here is that even if you get turned down, always make it a positive experience for both you and the woman.

You guys can meet a woman anywhere quite easily; it doesn't have to be a bar/club. Now to be quite frank, I tend not to spend much $ on the first "date". My reasoning is simple: I don't know her, I don't know if I'll like her, and I can't get to know her while we're chewing.

Another method to meet women is through friends, family, and co-workers. This happens frequently for me; all you have to do is make it known that you're up for meeting a nice, single young lady. Also, you can be funny with every woman; single, elderly, married; doesn't matter. This can be very powerful because at any time one of these women may tell you that they're going to introduce you to a nice young lady that they know. I've met guys who tried to set me up with their sisters. Key Item #3: The power of humor is endless.

One lesson I'd like to convey: If all you ever do is "chase" the hottest women you see, you're going to sit at home a lot. Women of all shapes, sizes, colors, cultures, etc. are all out there waiting for you to approach them, and each one of t