My Life...Disoriented: To see or not to see

[jaehwan]

I just saw this on angryasianman.com:

http://mylifedisoriented.com/

It's another production by Eric Byler. On the front page of the site, it says:

The future of the show is hanging in the balance right now, with PBS and a few other networks waiting to see how it does in its broadcast premiere. Our goal is to get the show "picked up" as an on-going Asian Pacific American "high school" TV show.

We are asking folks to contact their local PBS station to ask for more air dates (with better times -- some PBS affiliates are showing it at 3 AM) and to express interest in seeing the show become a series. This will really make a difference as to whether the first Asian American high school show sinks or swims.

Click here to find the contact info for your local PBS station. And we would appreciate it if you cced contact@mylifedisoriented.com on any correspondences with PBS regarding this show.

It's the same old Red Doors style of appealing to the race card. This one has some young Asian male characters, but they're minor. The down and out old father is the same exact character from Red Doors.

You can see clips here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qk57L6LBPY&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jftiJIqIOL8&mode=related&search=

Check out the dialogue on the second clip. It sounds really poorly written. The characters are not convincing at all.

I'm guessing that people are not going to be fighting to see this one. I don't know, it just doesn't look artistically good, and while I support Asian film, I think quality is a prerequisite.

By the way, it's packaged together with another short movie:


http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/shortstack2006/someday.html

I wonder who makes these decisions at PBS...

[Ike]

I'd like to see it even though the dialogue is ZzZzZzzZz. Too bad I'm going to be in Canada for the next week and will conveniently miss the PBS screenings.

[General Grievous]

The girl with the short hair remind me of my sister. Why is there a white guy at the dinner table?
Is the guy with the lip stick going to turn out being gay?
I bet the girls, or one of them, will end up with a white boy. They had white boys staring at them like they were aliens. Especially, the white girl's boyfriend.

Why couldn't they have an Asian male as the main character and not a girl?

[jaehwan]

Ike,

I actually wouldn't mind seeing it either. Don't know if I'd go out of my way to see it (because of the themes), but it's got Tamlyn Tomita, and she's a great actress. She even made the Karate Kid Part II worthwhile.

General Grievous:

The white guy I think is married to Tamlyn Tomita in the movie. I don't know why, but certain filmmakers (Byler included) like to throw that in whenever they can. Byler's last film got a lot of criticism for this, but it looks like things are the same. Maybe he figures he can wear people out if he keeps on producing the same WM/AF thing over and over.

Haha...I hate to say it, but I'm tired of complaining about it, so it must be working on me...

[xian]

Well, Byler's last feature was greatest cinema deconstruction of what obstacles prevent ethnic majority parents from connecting to their kids' identity.

What's wrong with showing the real pitfalls of ignorant IRs? Isn't that something we need more of?

With this show, I'm not sure what to think yet...It doesn't seem like they spent much time capturing authentic dialogue and that's a shame. With the significance of this project, why not be meticulous?

[SamuraiJack]

At first I was going to dismiss this as a cracker's attempt to show his fantasies on-screen, but after digging some more info on this guy...

http://us_asians.tripod.com/articles-eric-byler.html
http://www.asianguy.com/articles/interview-ericbyler.html

...I'll have to support him.

[SamuraiJack]

What's wrong with showing the real pitfalls of ignorant IRs? Isn't that something we need more of?

I think the need for positive non-IR relationships trump the needs to show the pitfalls of ignorant IRs. If I didn't read his interviews, I would've been very skeptical of the outcome.

[xian]

What's wrong with showing the real pitfalls of ignorant IRs? Isn't that something we need more of?

I think the need for positive non-IR relationships trump the needs to show the pitfalls of ignorant IRs. If I didn't read his interviews, I would've been very skeptical of the outcome.

Well, you can say that about anything. The depth of ignorance on mixed relationships is sobering when you consider that we have a huge new generations of kids of color being raised by ethnic majority parents.

But in the end, it doesn't matter. The question is "What are you doing that's constructive?" not "Are you addressing the number one need of random self-absorbed internet posters (myself included)"?

[SamuraiJack]

Well, you can say that about anything. The depth of ignorance on mixed relationships is sobering when you consider that we have a huge new generations of kids of color being raised by ethnic majority parents.

But in the end, it doesn't matter. The question is "What are you doing that's constructive?" not "Are you addressing the number one need of random self-absorbed internet posters (myself included)"?

I can see why you would want it to be all about IR relationships, since you're the product of one. After all, showing Asian men and women in a positive light takes a back seat to teaching people how to understand the relationship of white men with Asian women. I guess you're not "self-absorbed" after all.

[toml]

...not "Are you addressing the number one need of random self-absorbed internet posters (myself included)"?

But it's not just random people. It's an entire group who is "supposed" to be part of his core audience.

Just about all AAMs want to see an AAM in a leading, romantic role.
And just about all AAMs are tired of seeing WM/AAF.
And just about all AAs are tired of seeing white people in a movie/tv-show about the Asian American experience.

Eric has good intentions but sometimes it seems like he doesn't get it.

[jaehwan]

Well, Byler's last feature was greatest cinema deconstruction of what obstacles prevent ethnic majority parents from connecting to their kids' identity.

What's wrong with showing the real pitfalls of ignorant IRs? Isn't that something we need more of?

With this show, I'm not sure what to think yet...It doesn't seem like they spent much time capturing authentic dialogue and that's a shame. With the significance of this project, why not be meticulous?

Oops. My bad, I forgot about "Americanese." For some reason, I was thinking of "Charlotte Sometimes." And I guess it's not technically an IR, but it looked like an IR until I found out that the "white guy" was half-Asian, and visually it seemed to work along the lines of the stereotypes with the passive Asian guy and the hot-blooded white guy. I have a disclaimer too--I actually saw the promos and screenshots, but I didn't actually feel compelled to see the movie. Plus, Eric Byler was saying such ridiculous things in his interviews (I don't remember where they were, but I do remember them being ridiculous--and I think this is what toml is referring to) that I chose not to go out of principal.

I didn't see "Americanese" either. It may have been good, but I really didn't like the original book by Shawn Wong. The book seemed to bring up lots of issues, but it was light on substance.

I actually haven't seen any of Eric Byler's work. He's the only only whose work I haven't seen. I think I've seen everyone else--Greg Pak, Wayne Wang, Curtis Choy, Chris Chan Lee, Justin Lin, etc. Byler's work--at least from the promos I've seen and the interviews he has given--just hasn't appealed to me.

I honestly wouldn't mind seeing My Life...Disoriented. However, I think I will most likely be disappointed by the poor writing, if nothing else.

So maybe the point of this post is that quality should be a prereq for any director who asks for "community support." And, as toml mentions (and as you mentioned on another thread), there needs to be some kind of sensitivity to the needs of the community before asking for support.

In this case, the particular IR that we're discussing may be a minor story in the whole big story. Still, I'm expecting this to disappoint in terms of quality--regardless of whether or not IR is a theme.

I can see why you would want it to be all about IR relationships, since you're the product of one. After all, showing Asian men and women in a positive light takes a back seat to teaching people how to understand the relationship of white men with Asian women. I guess you're not "self-absorbed" after all.

I think you misinterpreted what xian was saying--he wasn't saying that he wanted it to be "all about IR." When he was talking about "self-absorbed internet posters," he even included himself. (And he probably should've included me too.)

I can't really comment on "Americanese" itself since I haven't seen it myself. I don't think xian's biracial identity makes him any less angry at the lopsided number of IR's. But xian himself can answer this for you--that is, if he isn't sick and tired from answering it 1000 times already to every other poster who has questioned it.

[SamuraiJack]

I think you misinterpreted what xian was saying--he wasn't saying that he wanted it to be "all about IR." When he was talking about "self-absorbed internet posters," he even included himself. (And he probably should've included me too.)

He did not include himself. He directed it at me, by putting the "(myself included)" inside the quotes. I'm basically telling him that he's a hypocrite for calling me "self-absorbed".

If he did really mean to include himself, then I apologise. I'm skeptical though...

[xian]

I think you misinterpreted what xian was saying--he wasn't saying that he wanted it to be "all about IR." When he was talking about "self-absorbed internet posters," he even included himself. (And he probably should've included me too.)

He did not include himself. He directed it at me, by putting the "(myself included)" inside the quotes. I'm basically telling him that he's a hypocrite for calling me "self-absorbed".

If he did really mean to include himself, then I apologise. I'm skeptical though...

That's my posting style--I always include myself when I'm talking about being self-absorbed. It was my typo that caused the confusion though, so I apologize.

If I had my choice, I would rather see a AF/AM strong relationship. I think my countless posts on these subject illustrate that. What I am saying it that I don't think it's good for us to rag on someone for doing a great job of deconstructing well-meaning, but ultimately racist WM/AF relationships.

It does the job that many posters are trying to do when they scream "CCB!", only it is FAR more effective.

If you haven't seen the film, the main plot is an older AM courting a younger mixed AF. Kelly Hu plays her best friend who's pretty self-hating and it's made to be obvious. I wonder if casting was poking fun at her.

At first the AF is skeptical to some of what the AM is teaching her about Asian American gender/ethnic politics, but they one day she is listening to her father talking and realizes that he's an aversive racist. It's that key moment when a kid realizes for the first time that their father is not a superhero, but just a sad, flawed old man, only this time with a racial twist.

[tkguy]

What's wrong with showing the real pitfalls of ignorant IRs? Isn't that something we need more of?


Not knocking you xian just analyzing a point you made that I feel many aa have.

There's a theory in psychology that people spend their lives finding things that supports the ideas in their heads. They also look at things from different angles to make them support their ideas. In other words people only see what they want to see.

With that in mind. Showing ignorant IRs will just make the people in them think that the problem exist but it's "out there". We on the outside think the ignorant people will learn from watching this. Everybody goes away thinking like something was resolved when in fact nothing was accomplished.

You can apply this logic to not just showing ignorant IRs but calling out ignorant people or racist situations or whatever.

I am not saying that racism and ignorance should not be pointed out. It should be to show people that aa will not be bullied. But I wouldn't expect anybody's opinion to really change.

[jaehwan]

I think you misinterpreted what xian was saying--he wasn't saying that he wanted it to be "all about IR." When he was talking about "self-absorbed internet posters," he even included himself. (And he probably should've included me too.)

He did not include himself. He directed it at me, by putting the "(myself included)" inside the quotes. I'm basically telling him that he's a hypocrite for calling me "self-absorbed".

If he did really mean to include himself, then I apologise. I'm skeptical though...

That's my posting style--I always include myself when I'm talking about being self-absorbed. It was my typo that caused the confusion though, so I apologize.

Interesting. I totally read it the way xian intended--probably because I'm familiar with his posts--but I can see the way SamuraiJack interpreted it. Funny thing is, I think it's punctuationally correct in both cases (the same way you would include a question mark within the quotes even if the main sentence, not the quote, is a question). Anyway, glad that is cleared up.

xian--

I'm going to have to see "Americanese." Sounds interesting. It's not available on Netflix, so I guess I'll have to wait. Incidentally, this is probably one instance where the movie is better than the book.

tk--

That's a good point. It's called cognitive dissonance. I see this all the time. I don't know if you saw it, but there was this Filipina woman who wrote an article (in the LA Times I think) several months back saying how she hated the fact that people in the Phillipines loved white people. Then she was saying how fortunate she was that her son was half "American" and looked white, and how she hoped he would have a film career in the Phillipines.

I think a lot of people are like this. They say, "Man, look at all those messed up people. Thank goodness I'm not like that." And they are that which they criticize. I knew this one Asian woman who used to complain about how she was stereotyped as easy because so many Asian women date ugly white guys. And her husband was a dorky looking white guy. She would make comments about other Asian women, all the while being part of the same problem that she criticized.

Now I'm not sure, but I think things are different if you focus on the positive. For example, if you were to show an Asian woman dating Tom Cruise, she would probably see herself in that. I never asked my acquaintance her opinion on the Last Samurai, but I imagine it was quite positive. People just seem to have inflated egos and like to distance themselves from criticism.

[dachoi]

getting back to the actual point of this post, I actually did see My Life...Disoriented on PBS as part of Independent Lens. My initial thoughts:

1. You can definitely tell this was a low budget affair. There is barely a soundtrack, the camera and shots are very basic, and for a supposedly large community that Bakersfield (where the show takes place) is supposed to be, its high school, shopping malls are severely lacking in people (probably because they couldn't afford a lot of extras).

2. Given the low budget, the acting/casting suffers from it. Some of these "high schoolers" look WAY too old to be in high school. Hence when you see these post 25 year olds walking around, acting teenagerish, it seems silly and annoying. One actress playing a high school senior is 32! I didn't buy their performances since they just look so out of place. There is a reason why casting actual teenagers to play teenagers makes sense.

3. As pointed out earlier, the writing is pretty bad. As with most teen movies/tv series, its adults trying to write what they think actual teenagers are like. Sometimes it does work but many times it does not. The writing came off as cliched and very non-authentic. It seems the writer chose all the typical high school things to write about (boys, cliques, being popular) but couldn't write more than one line of dialogue about I don't know, colleges, homework, tests, SATs, cars, cell-phones. I am pretty sure somewhere, actual Asian american teenagers at some point talk about that.

Overall, it is a disappointing attempt at what on the surface was an interesting premise. Not for all the reasons mentioned by others, but more for the reason that is just a badly written and produced TV show. If they changed the race to Hispanic, white, or black people, it would still be a crappy show.

[jaehwan]

getting back to the actual point of this post, I actually did see My Life...Disoriented on PBS as part of Independent Lens. My initial thoughts:

1. You can definitely tell this was a low budget affair. There is barely a soundtrack, the camera and shots are very basic, and for a supposedly large community that Bakersfield (where the show takes place) is supposed to be, its high school, shopping malls are severely lacking in people (probably because they couldn't afford a lot of extras).

2. Given the low budget, the acting/casting suffers from it. Some of these "high schoolers" look WAY too old to be in high school. Hence when you see these post 25 year olds walking around, acting teenagerish, it seems silly and annoying. One actress playing a high school senior is 32! I didn't buy their performances since they just look so out of place. There is a reason why casting actual teenagers to play teenagers makes sense.

3. As pointed out earlier, the writing is pretty bad. As with most teen movies/tv series, its adults trying to write what they think actual teenagers are like. Sometimes it does work but many times it does not. The writing came off as cliched and very non-authentic. It seems the writer chose all the typical high school things to write about (boys, cliques, being popular) but couldn't write more than one line of dialogue about I don't know, colleges, homework, tests, SATs, cars, cell-phones. I am pretty sure somewhere, actual Asian american teenagers at some point talk about that.

Overall, it is a disappointing attempt at what on the surface was an interesting premise. Not for all the reasons mentioned by others, but more for the reason that is just a badly written and produced TV show. If they changed the race to Hispanic, white, or black people, it would still be a crappy show.

I saw it too. Oh my....I thought I had seen the worse, but they keep pushing the envelope, don't they? My ears are still bleeding from listening to all that horribly written dialogue. My eyes are hurting from watching those actors in obvious pain. If they're going to have an Asian American regular TV show, I hope this isn't it.

I was actually fine with points one and two. I've seen some decent films made with a low budget. Usually the decent ones have to borrow a bit from plays with more emphasis on dialogue (wouldn't have worked with this script!), but it is possible to do great things with a smaller budget. I'm also okay with having older actors playing high school students. It's usually the norm. That girl with the glasses on 90210 was around 32 when it was filmed, and she was still somewhat convincing. I think all those "kids" on 90210 were much older. It can work, but you need a good script and believable dialogue that can make it work. (I'm not saying that 90210 had a great script, but at least it was somewhat decent).

Now I'm in total agreement with you on point 3. This short movie was ALL about boys and cliques, and absolutely nothing else. The main character came across as whiny and boring. The father came across as a boring wimp. The dialogue was so trite that I almost shed tears out of pity for the actors. Everything was overplayed, and there was no depth to any of the characters.

Some of the lines were just way out from God knows where. I almost cried when that popular white girl says of the other white girl, "She just wanted to hang out with you because you're Asian." What? Does this make...any sense? Her eighth grade science teacher told her that someone had probably had similar experiences, but can you think of a popular white girl saying of another popular white girl that she only wanted to hang out with someone because she is Asian? Does this exist in any universe?

The main love connection was also a non-event. The object of her crush had exactly two lines--"Forget about her," and "Hey New-girl, you forgot something." He was so superficial and underdeveloped that I saw that connection as more of a joke than anything else.

All in all, I can't see how crappy movies can really do anything to change perceptions. The only thing this movie proved to me is that Asians are capable of producing crappy and superficial movies.

[General Grievous]

My sister thinks that this is the best show that she have ever seen in her life. Of course, she likes Save By The Bell reruns and crap like that.

[Catatonic]

My sister thinks that this is the best show that she have ever seen in her life. Of course, she likes Save By The Bell reruns and crap like that.

That's probably b/c she could totally relate to it - an AF hanging out with/dating whites.


One thing that gets me about many Asian-Am film-makers, writers, etc. is that they are often no better than the mass media in perpetuating the AF/AM dichotomy.

During Asian-Am month this year, I happened to watch a couple of AA short films on the local public TV station.

One film was set in Hawaii and it was basically about a group of "queen bees" (pretty, popular Asian girls) who tormented this geeky, dorky AF (who's best friends was a dorky AM). Granted, this theme is one that has been in use for a long time, but one thing I happened to notice was that while the film portrayed the "cool", popular AF clique, there was no corresponding portrayal of the cool, popular AM clique (not even in the background). It's as if AA filmmakers don't seem to think they exist as well.

The other AA short was the typical AF in NYC w/ (no surprise) WM bf. (AF/WM portrayal has definitely become the de facto portrayal of AF relationships. An AF/AM portrayal has become the exception to the "rule.")

[KevMinh]

I don't know if you saw it, but there was this Filipina woman who wrote an article (in the LA Times I think) several months back saying how she hated the fact that people in the Phillipines loved white people. Then she was saying how fortunate she was that her son was half "American" and looked white, and how she hoped he would have a film career in the Phillipines.


Oh, yeah, I think I read her essay in Newsweek under the "My Story" section. Like you described her, she's a living contradiction. Also, her retelling of examples when women would come up to her and praise her son's fare skin tone made me want to gag. But, for me, the most disturbing part of her story is her aspiration for her mixed son to get a TV/film career going simply because of the Caucasian blood flowing through him.

However, I'd bet many would say that she's simply being savvy using her son's appearance to play to a Western audience that goes ga-ga over anything "multicultural".