Being in the tunnel

[kwak76]

I guess you could say at least for some of the hardcore militant asian guys they could be deep in the tunnel. You could say that they have tunnel vision with asian issues.
I just like to know how some other people were able to dig themselves out of that tunnel.
Some people mention that they turn to art or music. But to me that sounds like expressing your anger and tunnel vision in a different context.

In other words instead of walking around all day and be pissed off at the world you write songs about being pissed off at the world.

I guess I need to hear steps of how you dig out of the tunnel.

[eskimo]

kwak, I think what you're asking for are ways to effectively deal with the negative energy (chi) that one internalizes throughout one's life.

Everyone comes across both positive and negative energies throughout their daily lives and it's important you know how to effectively manage this in order to be productive. If you let internalized negative energy accumulate, fester, and eat away at your esteem, then you're sending yourself in a downward spiral or into a tunnel as you describe.

The key to dealing with this issue is to assess your current situation and your habits, commit to proactively changing things for the better, manage your negative energy as you experience it, while seeking out sources of positive energy.

Remember, life energy fuels our activities and is the currency of social interaction. If you have positive energy to share, people will cling to you like youíre the messiah; if you are mired in negative energy, they'll avoid you like a leper.

Ask yourself if the things you normally do or people you regularly engage in your daily routine leave you with a negative impression? Are you around friends who are always talking negatively about things or about how their lives are so terrible? Are you living in a neighborhood where you're constantly being harassed and verbally (or physically) assaulted? Do your parents, significant other, or spouse dump on you for all their own frustrations and problems?

If so, then, start by getting yourself out of that environment. Consider breaking off your relationship, making some new friends, or moving to a new part of town. Escape to help yourself start anew. You may feel a sense of loyalty to long-standing friends or relatives but assure yourself and them that youíre not abandoning them, but departing temporarily to change your life for the better. After you do so, you can always return to them and share your newfound life and all your positive energy with them.

Now, in dealing with the negativity. Everyone from all backgrounds is subject to negative energy throughout their lives. The difference among people is how they deal with it. Common ways people deal with negative energy is by drinking, eating, displacing it onto others, shopping, exercising, competitive activities, musical or artistic expression, talking it over with friends, religious devotion.

The first few activities are counterproductive or superficial ìtreatmentsî, especially if you abuse them. I think exercising is the best way to release negative energy, for not only do you release the negative but you also gain aesthetic and psychological benefits which help bolster self-esteem. Some people turn to musical or artistic expression to release their negative energy (or share their positive energy). Others turn to their religious institutions and dump on their imam/minister/monk/priest/rabbi :). To each his own, but I would recommend focusing on the latter activities for the most part.

And when out in public and someone tries to displace their negative energy onto you by verbally assaulting you or making a snide remark, donít accept it and internalize it, but send it back to them. Show them you wonít take delivery of such crappy material and that only their Grade-A stuff is worth your time.

If you adeptly manage the negative energy you come across in your life and seek out and always surround yourself with people, places, and activities that offer positive energy, then youíll ensure you have enough premium fuel (and courage) to drive those actions that are advantageous to you in your life. By doing this, you will have effectively reversed your downward spiral into an upward one and gotten yourself out of that tunnel.

[Dialectic]

Great post, eskimo.

I think the challenge that Kwak (and many others) are facing is twofold:

1) They focus on the negative (and this is not entirely under conscious control)

2) As a result of the fixation, they produce/ emit their own negative, and a vicious cycle ensues.

Kwak, btw, is in very good physical condition, and cares deeply for certain social causes. He is, I believe, at a point where he has all the resources to turn things around and get out of the "tunnel" but is not sure how, because everywhere he looks and everything he sees is dark. There's not a lot more I can say, other than Tojo was there, ZG is there erratically, and I was as well. There is no "turn-it-around, immediate" solution, and exiting takes time and gradual/ massive internal change. Follow eskimo's advice, and simply stay off the negative internally, stay away from it externally until you feel you have balance and experience periodic moments of happiness. When you are balanced, you may then re-examine the negative from a healthier perspective (as complete avoidance of the negative is in itself a negative).

[kwak76]

thanks for the reply

[eskimo]

Anytime, brother. You're welcome to e-mail me if you want to discuss specific situations. Just click on the link below.

[kwak76]

I think one of my problem is my fixation on inter-racial disparity. Dialectic was right. I do dwell on that subject too much. But living in NYC you can't excape it. I mean I spent 5 months in korea to get away and get my head on right. But my experiences is very similar to Justice.
You see it in movies , walking down the streets, porn(american)you name it.Even the girls I dated used me and I was hurt in the past because of this issue.
I gotten better though because I try to purposely avoid it now. I try to block it out. Until I feel alot stronger about myself but than I worry about my community and the sell outs we have. So it is not just myself but my community .
I help myself by helping my community. That helps.

for those of you that are curious I went to another YKAN meeting. I met the guy who created the site asianmediawatch.com
Is a good chinese brother in the blue shirt. That's me (on the left)smiling sitting next to him.
Going to meeting like this and getting involve makes me feel better. But my day could go to crap if I see an asian girl with a white guy.

http://www.ykan.org/gallery/slide.php?sid=167#

[eskimo]

kwak, it's great that you're getting out and immersing yourself in positive events and environments. Seems like it would be a pretty neat experience meeting the founder of AsianMediaWatch. And from the looks of your photo, you actually look kinda... happy.

Hey, you don't need to see or hear things you don't want to. Who says you have to watch movies or TV shows with WM/AF couples? Who says you have to watch mainstream porn? There are enough alternatives to where you can choose to watch things that are pleasing to you.

As an anecdote, a while ago we cancelled our cable TV subscription to reduce cost and as a result we stopped watching TV altogether. But when we visit my mother's home, I'll sometimes flip on the TV but find that I'm not really compelled to watch any of the shows -- there really aren't too many shows on TV that I'm interested in, let alone feel compelled to watch. I can access news (and pretty much anything else) over the internet in an interactive manner and safely avoid all the advertisements. I can visit sites and content that's supportive and encouraging to someone who looks like me and avoid all the negative imagery we get from popular media. And do I miss out on anything of great value by not keeping up to date with TV? Perhaps the latest pop culture lingo. Tragic, but I'm sure I'll survive.

Yeah, I'm pretty happy without my TV and I can always pick and choose which motion pictures or DVDs I'll watch. But in real life I always try to present the best image of Asian men to others to counter some of the stuff on TV/film. And I enjoy doing that. I think you might too. So let's put on a show for them!

[xian]

I think one of my problem is my fixation on inter-racial disparity. Dialectic was right. I do dwell on that subject too much. But living in NYC you can't excape it. I mean I spent 5 months in korea to get away and get my head on right. But my experiences is very similar to Justice.
You see it in movies , walking down the streets, porn(american)you name it.Even the girls I dated used me and I was hurt in the past because of this issue.
I gotten better though because I try to purposely avoid it now. I try to block it out. Until I feel alot stronger about myself but than I worry about my community and the sell outs we have. So it is not just myself but my community .
I help myself by helping my community. That helps.

for those of you that are curious I went to another YKAN meeting. I met the guy who created the site asianmediawatch.com
Is a good chinese brother in the blue shirt. That's me (on the left)smiling sitting next to him.
Going to meeting like this and getting involve makes me feel better. But my day could go to crap if I see an asian girl with a white guy.

http://www.ykan.org/gallery/slide.php?sid=167#

Props to you for getting out and involved.

I think it's important to remember that what makes energy "positive" or "negative" is context. Energy applied in a constructive direction is positive and will elevate you. Energy applied in a destructive or fruitless direction is negative and will consume you.

This is the main disagreement many of us had with the old "kamikazes" here. They thought that the only real anger was destructive anger and called people who applied their anger in constructive ways apologist wusses.

But anger is a good fuel for any action. You use it to provide energy, but you release that energy through constructive causes rather than on other people.

This is what I tend to preach--if you are angry about IRs, use that anger strategically--work to alter media depictions, outreach to misguided members of the community.

Why not direct this anger directly at people ("sellouts, CCBs, etc.)? Because it's not effective. Angry educational outreach makes those you are teaching angry at the injustices and the inequities, but if you direct anger at the people instead, it just makes them embrace the injustices and get angry at you.

So keep on keeping on. Like you said, "help yourself by helping your community". If you do this, you won't have to "block it out". You'll know that the current problems are just outdated notions that you are helping to destroy.

Peace.