Dialectic
Dec 19th, 2004, 07:11 AM
ZG's folks came down to visit this weekend, and since we live in a bustling metropolis filled with Asians and good food, they wanted to go out to dinner with their favorite Hulk-like nigh-incomprehensible son. Naturally, I tagged along, as I love Shanghainese food, and really, I'm more of a son to them than he is, given that we can actually understand one another when we speak, and we have sustainable conversations.
[ZG deliberately says some really funny and offensive shit, always in English, when his folks are around 'cause he knows they're only gonna understand a fraction of what he's saying at best, and actually, he wouldn't care if they understood all of it. Also, before going on, I'd like to emphasize that he's physically one the biggest and most built Asians you're likely to meet, is a good-looking guy, is witty, but is, like me, bitter and cynical from a series of small catastrophes and oppressions we experienced in our formative years.]
So this restaurant we go to is really busy, and we wait in the little transitional space between the outer door and the inner door (there's probably a word for this area, but I can't think of it at the moment). He's leaning against the window, facing me, and we're having our usual witty and scintillating conversation, and I'm looking through the window.
There's this cute little kid sitting at a table with her family, and she's staring at me so I start waving and making faces.
[To paraphrase Xanga legend StillADick, I love little kids 'cause they're so damn adorable, and whenever I see them I want to go over and pet them, but I don't because I would be labelled a pedophile.]
[Also, keep in mind that during this conversation, and actually during all conversations he's in, ZG is using a certain ridiculous irreverent/ serious tone to deliver all this lines, which, trust me, most people love. He's like the Fool in all the Shakespeare plays.]
ZG: What are you doing? Who are you waving at?
D: This cute little kid sitting over there.
ZG: Stop it.
D: Turn around, look! That kid is so cute!
ZG: No. Why bother?
D: All right man. [Makes some kind of goofy blowfish expression.]
ZG: That's the last time she'll ever look at me anyway.
D: [Partially registering ZG's mumbles.] Ha ha, y'know, that's the last time she'll probably look at us anyway!
ZG: I know. I just said that.
D: Dude we're like Neverland, man!
ZG: What? Are you making a Peter Pan reference? Don't make a Peter Pan reference.
D: Yeah yeah, we're like Peter Pan and that Lost Boys shit! They can see us when they're young, but when they get older, they can't see us anymore. They don't look at us ever again. And then they forget we ever existed! [Makes goofy bobble-face through the window.]
Whassup Lost Boys. Welcome to Neverland.
[ZG deliberately says some really funny and offensive shit, always in English, when his folks are around 'cause he knows they're only gonna understand a fraction of what he's saying at best, and actually, he wouldn't care if they understood all of it. Also, before going on, I'd like to emphasize that he's physically one the biggest and most built Asians you're likely to meet, is a good-looking guy, is witty, but is, like me, bitter and cynical from a series of small catastrophes and oppressions we experienced in our formative years.]
So this restaurant we go to is really busy, and we wait in the little transitional space between the outer door and the inner door (there's probably a word for this area, but I can't think of it at the moment). He's leaning against the window, facing me, and we're having our usual witty and scintillating conversation, and I'm looking through the window.
There's this cute little kid sitting at a table with her family, and she's staring at me so I start waving and making faces.
[To paraphrase Xanga legend StillADick, I love little kids 'cause they're so damn adorable, and whenever I see them I want to go over and pet them, but I don't because I would be labelled a pedophile.]
[Also, keep in mind that during this conversation, and actually during all conversations he's in, ZG is using a certain ridiculous irreverent/ serious tone to deliver all this lines, which, trust me, most people love. He's like the Fool in all the Shakespeare plays.]
ZG: What are you doing? Who are you waving at?
D: This cute little kid sitting over there.
ZG: Stop it.
D: Turn around, look! That kid is so cute!
ZG: No. Why bother?
D: All right man. [Makes some kind of goofy blowfish expression.]
ZG: That's the last time she'll ever look at me anyway.
D: [Partially registering ZG's mumbles.] Ha ha, y'know, that's the last time she'll probably look at us anyway!
ZG: I know. I just said that.
D: Dude we're like Neverland, man!
ZG: What? Are you making a Peter Pan reference? Don't make a Peter Pan reference.
D: Yeah yeah, we're like Peter Pan and that Lost Boys shit! They can see us when they're young, but when they get older, they can't see us anymore. They don't look at us ever again. And then they forget we ever existed! [Makes goofy bobble-face through the window.]
Whassup Lost Boys. Welcome to Neverland.