Daughter and Dad

[Dialectic]

I was walking home from the gym today; the sky was sunny and the day was warm. I live next to Chinatown, so it's always bustling in my neighbourhood. There's always people everywhere, lots of shouting, bumping, buying, and eating.

I was taking my time ambling down a quieter side street ('cause I've mapped the most efficient route to the gym, involving a side street and a very key diagonal cut through a park), and there was a pair of people ahead of me: a middle-aged Asian dad, with salt and pepper hair wearing a respectable golf shirt tucked into khakis, and his daughter in a bright pink tank top and white capris, probably in her late teens or early twenties. He walked with a relaxed, slightly-stooped posture, like many chill Asian dads I've seen, and his daughter seemed happy enough to be walking with him, with that routine/ semi-bored/ slightly-amused spring in her step that so many daughters have in the company of their parents.

As they strolled along with a few grocery bags in hand, I noticed the daughter's arm was wrapped around her dad's, and that, for some reason, made me happy. At one point, he must've made a joke or funny comment, and she elbowed him lightly and they kept walking 'til they reached the door of the parking garage. It was a very pretty picture, and I wish I could've taken a photo of it to show you.

[Apollyon]

Are you sure it was his daughter? Maybe it was his fortune that he hooked up with a much younger hot AF. This is not beyond the realm of possibility. I know sometimes when you see Asians together the automatic assumption is that they are related or something like that. It is what I would think too naturally.

[Dialectic]

Ha ha, I'm pretty sure it was his daughter.

[Anarchrist]

Beautiful reflection, Di. Why is it I only notice the darker things in life? So I was in the main plaza of Columbia University, just got out of my Chinese class with two friends. One being a fighter for Gay rights was immediately attracted to a table for, well, gay rights set up in the middle of the plaza. I just stood around waiting for them, I didn't take many of the materials, but did take a "Vote for Kerry" sticker that they were giving out. And during this idle moment, I just decided to absorb the peacefulness of the coming Autumn on the huge column steps of Low Library... The cool, bright marble...The blue blue sky, AND EXACTLY SEVEN FUCKING WM/AF COUPLES sitting right on the fucking steps.
It was like a conspiracy. Or some kind of fucking curse. At that moment, I tried to collect my senses and briefly glanced around to view what other interracial couples there might be...Zilch. No WF/BM, shoot not even a WM/BF. The blatant racism of the scene kind of overtook me. Then I went to class, got something to eat and about four hours later, I came back.

This is what made me wonder... I saw one of the couples left. A skinnier, strong-jawed smiling East Asian Girl, and her Weezer member looking boyfriend..But they had sat there for four hours talking into the coldness of night. At the very least, I couldn't help but admit respect for the genuine. We've got a lot to fight here, but the 44s have helped me aim my bullets in the right direction.

[Dialectic]

Anarchrist, thanks for the props!

The situation you described is a lot like the one me, Lopan, and Sheki were in in the "Etymological" thread. All we wanted was some fine T3 action (and we didn't even get that, really), and we realized we were surrounded on all sides, and there was no way out. Actually, it was like that when we watched Kill Bill II, too.

But hey, it's stuff like that that helped form the Fighting 44s. It comes down to taking all the shit that gets thrown your way, big AND small, and turning it to gold.

[Dialectic]

And that's why Art is so important, AND advocacy, AND business, AND science ....

Take something that works against you, turn it into something that works for you, and use that to create ten more things that work for you. Everything connects, and everything can come together in a powerful and progressive way if you have the insight to see it and the will to do it.

[Makulita]

Is it bad that I wanted to walk up those stairs wearing my "ASIANS HAVE HARDER DICKS" t-shirt?

And as a note...I'm starting to think Anarchrist really IS cursed. Seriously, SEVEN WM/AF and none of them noticed each other?

Eesh.

[Anarchrist]

Is it bad that I wanted to walk up those stairs wearing my "ASIANS HAVE HARDER DICKS" t-shirt?

And as a note...I'm starting to think Anarchrist really IS cursed. Seriously, SEVEN WM/AF and none of them noticed each other?

Eesh.

Seriously Mak, I am fucking cursed. I went to an International Students forum up in the upstate Boondocks, and we had a forum on racism. It was pretty lightweight (that is, everyone was navigating the issue so preciously that the stark reality of racism was hardly even addressed, even when the topic WAS racism) until I brought out the fact that at the univeristy they all attended in the few weeks I've spent here, I've already been called a chink faggot by their "intellectual elite" and have had a professor make a distinction about my writing ability based on my skin color. So after the forum, i get a ride back to Manhattan with this guy named Jim. We stop on the way, in the middle of the forest to ask an old white lady walking her dog how to get back to Manhattan, and she replies, "What? What? Hey wait, are you guys looking for the Buddhist temple?" Although Jim is half Italian/South American, he noted that people often mistake him for Phillipino. Anyhow, he even commented on how I must draw those fuckers out of the woodwork or something. It's my fucking fate.

[Anarchrist]

All AM's need some sort of color or symbol that we all wear.

Maybe it can be a gray article of clothing, or a bandana that we wear on our belts. something that we know that we are aware of whats going on, and it will be a matter of time before we rise up and start jumping fools.

one of my hyungs beat up this white boy that was dating his older sister. it was big news all over school. him and his friends jumped him and fucked him up pretty bad. For 5 years, I never saw a WM/AF couple... hahaha. how funny...
In the deeper part of my humanity, I realize that's fucking horrible. My shallow side is laughing his ass off.

[Dialectic]

You're a Yellow_Peril in the making! You cannot resist your destiny. Join the Hopelessly Bitter Side.

[Apollyon]

Hey Anarchist, I have a suggestion, now I know this is going to come across as really shallow, but it may work... Of those 7 WM/AF couples, how many of the AFs were attractive?? And were they attractive enough for you to want to date? How about other factors? Like clothing and sense of style? Did they have that as well in the way that you would like? If you wouldn't have wanted or been interested in any of them ANYWAYS, then it doesn't matter who they are with. Or perhaps it is not specifically any of them, but more the issue of lack of success in finding an AF partner? Or any partner at all? I think it is important to know just what it is exactly that is the source of distress because sometimes I get confused myself.

[Anarchrist]

Hey Anarchist, I have a suggestion, now I know this is going to come across as really shallow, but it may work... Of those 7 WM/AF couples, how many of the AFs were attractive?? And were they attractive enough for you to want to date? How about other factors? Like clothing and sense of style? Did they have that as well in the way that you would like? If you wouldn't have wanted or been interested in any of them ANYWAYS, then it doesn't matter who they are with. Or perhaps it is not specifically any of them, but more the issue of lack of success in finding an AF partner? Or any partner at all? I think it is important to know just what it is exactly that is the source of distress because sometimes I get confused myself.
Well Apollyon,

First of all I do want to stress that a lot of the bitterness I infuse my language is is actually supposed to be jovial. Kind of, I'm a pissed Asian man, but being pissed is part of the fun. Secondly, you pose a difficult question. To me, I find almost all East Asian women attractive. Maybe it's a Freudian thing, I dunno, however I have a wonderfully beautiful Chinese-American girlfriend, henceforth, despite my preferences this bitterness really doesn't originate from anything below the abdomen (or perhaps it does, and I simply can't admit it). Anyhow, what disturbs me most is the socio-economic classist implications of the AF/WM dynamic. The fact that it happens so much more often then IR couples of any other type. The fact that 90% of the time, it's an AF with a WM. The fact that there is an incredible amount of self-racism and media idolatry involved.
In the end it falls close to what Gandhi said about poverty, that is, "Poverty is the worst form of violence." Simply because poverty is extended fom unseen hands, and dynamics that are not immediately evident. Without such an evident connection to particular social forces (ie. the upper-class or whatever,) many forms of rhetoric successfully free those responsible from blame. Simply because the dynamic is so complex, arguments exploring these dynamics are alleged as borderline conspiratoracy theory. The same goes for the AF/WM dynamic. Since I believe there are classist dynamics in tandem with racist social media forces shaping the female Asian paradigm of society and success, I suppose it could be related to Gandhi's concept, albeit offensively as "hierarchical social engineering and it's effect on the minority female population is the worst form of prostitution." In my perspective, by adhering and assimilating into a system that inherently discriminates against them (mind you, discrimination comes in many ulterior forms,) they effectively sell themselves. What is it that the DQ AF sees when she possesses the propensity for White males? The same question may be asked as to what Asian males or any male for that matter thinks of when they buy Tommy Hilfiger clothes. It's American commodification. Lifestyle obsession. Be Veblen's standards, conspisuous consumption and display of material status. What is most frightening is when this form of commidification becomes applied to huan beings. When an adopted Asian baby becomes trendy. When an Asian girlfriend becomes "exotic" and "sexy" henceforth, cultured. And most of all, when mating up with a White man becomes "right". This last concept is the most complicated. By media standards, the White male is suppopsed to be more understanding, more cultured, and undeniably higher on the social ladder. within Asian American female reasoning, by media consumption the White male becomes equated with Freedom, non-abuse, gratitude, understanding...even spirituality. The bottom line? The White male becomes more "Human." Anything else would be uncouth, uncultured, substandard and inappapropriate for an American "Lady." I hope my theorum is clear.

[AngryEthiopian]

Is it bad that I wanted to walk up those stairs wearing my "ASIANS HAVE HARDER DICKS" t-shirt?
You shittin me? :twisted: :lol:

[Makulita]

Naw dude, TOTALLY serious! I'd probably bring a stereo with me blasting yellow rage's "I'm a Woman, Not a Flavor" too. :twisted:

Or didja mean the "ASIAN MEN HAVE HARDER DICKS" t-shirt?

:oops: Nnnnno, I don't have one...yet. I just needa figure out how to silkscreen or embroider it onto a shirt. I'm thinking dark navy shirt with the kind of yellow color they use for those naval ship hats I see at Navy Exchanges. Y'know? That'd be an awesome shirt to have.

[rising7]

I just need to take a pic of my cousin and my uncle for the same thing. It's pretty heartwarming that they have a good relationship, since a lot of my AF friends get kicked around by their dads because they don't want the career path that their dads chose for them or get yelled at for having a healthy social life. My cousin has a daughter and I hope she and her husband will treat her right.