Infiltrators from Iowa

[Dialectic]

So I'm chillin' on the streetcar going into Chinatown (where I live), when these two corn-fed ridiculously White dudes come in and sit at the back with me.

They start making noises to each other in what sounds to me like imitation Cantonese, and I'm gettin' a little annoyed and wanna get all up in their faces like if you keep doing this, we're gonna have a serious problem. But I notice the looks on their faces are not really mocking, and they seem to be carrying on a natural flow.

They also have a certain aura about them which I've learned to identify, but I'm not absolutely sure is there.

Then they spontaneously start talking to me in English, asking where I'm coming from, what I'm up to, small-talky shit like that which strangers in big cities never do. Then I find out they're from the US, different States, one of 'em from Iowa. Or maybe it was Idaho. Either way, he fuckin' looked like it too. They say they've visited Toronto before, and they're back to see friends and check out old haunts.

Then they tell me what they were doing here when they stayed.

Their CHURCH network SENT THEM HERE for TWO YEARS to learn fluent Cantonese because several of their churches have significant Chinese populations.

And it turned out my instinct was right: they had that aura of predatory joviality that missionary/ pseudo-missionary types have. The "I'm gonna be your friend no matter WHAT, muthafucka!" type of face I've chatted with before on subways and street corners.

I was FREAKED out. I'd never even HEARD of this kind of fuckin' training before. Sending missionaries to China is one thing, but getting members to learn this shit so they can use it here?! I asked them if they knew Mandarin too, and one dude responded quite naturally in Mandarin that he was okay. This was of course their secondary Chinese language as Cantonese was their focus. Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

[xian]

Were they Mormon? Cause the mormons are well known for their intensive language training. They believe that successful outreach begins with effective communication.

The church is also the best of the best when it comes to subjugation of women and minorities, however, so my respect doesn't extend past there.

[Dialectic]

Doubtful of the Mormonness 'cause they were dressed in normal clothes. Maybe the Iowa one was wearing A&F, too. There was just too much to take in at once. I should've asked more questions but I was mildly shocked, the ride wasn't long 'cause I live close to the main station, and I went from wanting to kick their ass (thinking they were imitating) to just what the fuck was going on in less than a minute so I wasn't particularly friendly/ unfriendly/ expressive with them.

[evil_FUX]

Fuck that shit's scary. I bet they really butchered that Cantonese too.

[Dialectic]

They didn't sound perfectly Chinese, but they had tone and flow down pretty good. I've met/ heard quite a few White folks who learn Chinese later in life, and they sounded like them: 90%-95% there.

[evil_FUX]

Heh so did they come up to you also with an attitude of them thinking you'd be totally cool and impressed with them speaking Chinese or some bullshit?

[Dialectic]

Well see, that's the thing about smiley-missionary types: they are really good at not coming across cocky or preachy. Their methods have grown much more sophisticated than what we've seen/heard in movies and books over the last few decades. They seemed like genuinely decent guys (which I'm sure they were). That's the scariest thing.

[generaltojo]

If it's idaho, they're likely mormon.

[The Ram]

I hate missionaries.
They may have good intentions, but it is WRONG to go around trying
to convince people your way is better and if they don't they are going
to hell.


If people want to listen, they'll come to you.
Besides how many times in history have we seen people /organizations
use religion as a tool to advance their own corrupt agenda?

answer: TOO many fucking times....
Many people who follow a religion are posers...

I went to a buddhist temple in Thailand where my cousins donate food and
money...what did i see?

I saw buddhist monks with pet dogs smoking cigarettes..these basturds
were just homeless fuckers who dedicated their life to the buddha in order
to be fed and taken care of ...for FREE.



:evil:

[Dialectic]

While I wouldn't generalize to all religious, certainly, there is going to be a portion who are just in it for the material benefits and/ or prestige.

They are not the dangerous ones, however, as they are pragmatic and probably fairly rational in their approach to life and communication; it's the ones who really believe, and who don't have the insight into existence to back those beliefs up, that you have to watch out for.

[toml]

Yeah, they're Mormon all right.

In order to be a full-fledged Mormon you HAVE to do missionary work and a lot of them will do it in places like Asia, Africa, etc... (read, 3 rd world countries)

And prior to doing that, they go to these training camps where they learn the native language.

I have a friend who is Mormon and she speaks perfect Mandarin. She can even read and write in Chinese!

An interesting thing is there are quite a few Asian Mormons (and a lot of the AMs are married to WFs.... :lol: )

Check out this one wedding

livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=pjammer&itemid=123967

(copy & past link)


And on another note, if they seem smarmy it's not because of white privilege, more like "religious-pious" privilege.

[Scowl]

All I can say is that it freaks me out when I see and hear white people speaking Mandarin. It's just not right.

By the way, Dialectic, were those guys dressed in short-sleeve white shirts, with black pants and dress shoes? And carrying book bags/backpacks?

[Dialectic]

Nah, I mentioned above that they were in regular clothing. One was in A&F. They may have had backpacks; they pretty much looked like slightly-odd students.

[xian]

Nah, I mentioned above that they were in regular clothing. One was in A&F. They may have had backpacks; they pretty much looked like slightly-odd students.

Did you tell them that A&F is not a great wardrobe choice for outreach? :P

[dragon]

A couple of them visited my temple during Tết (Viet/Chinese New Year)...and, boyyy...I tell ya what...that one dude spoke better Vietnamese than I do (I'm like 4th grade level). :shock: I WAS impressed!

[Justin]

The "I'm gonna be your friend no matter WHAT, muthafucka!" type of face I've chatted with before on subways and street corners

Damn I never ran into this type but it seems like they are ridiculously annoying.

[heaven's_palm]

yeah, them mormons pull off the language deal pretty good. only i've read and heard that the inner teachings of mormonism are pretty white supremacist. stuff like reincarnation into a "lower" (non white) race when you sin enough. maybe that's why out of all the white chicks that ever gave me the time of day, a good number of them were mormons. they see my darker skin and slanty eyes and figure, "he must have been a real bad boy cuz he came back a gook! i love bad boys!"
a few years back an all asian 12 member snowboard trip to park city utah kinda backed up my suspicions about their faith. "waiter, could you tell those pasty folks at the 5 tables over there to stop starin' so i can eat my food?"