What's in my head these days....

[kalbi]

I was actually going to call this, "Our Empty Lives in America: a quasi-outsider's perspective", but I thought a simpler title would have been more appropriate. This post is an amalgam of personal anecdotes and facts, and some commentary on our Asian American Reality.




Well to start off, I've realized that I'm about as un-original as almost every single person on the face of this planet, because I've had to rely on other sources to come to my own ideas. :? :lol: Then again, it's profoundly difficult to be 100% original (which is why those people get the praise they deserve). Anyway, here goes:


The common assumption about our lives as Asian Americans is that on the whole, we hold a philosophical/moral/spiritual 'edge' over the "natives", or those who've been here for a while longer than we have. We feel that in addition to absorbing the positive aspects of the host society (for example 'Western' assertiveness), we can come ahead of non-Asians by simultaneously retaining the positive traits of our home culture (such as close family bonds and humility). By this line of thought, we become a "hybrid super-solider". This is just partially true however, IMO. As Asian Americans mature as an AMERICAN community and the subsequent generations supplant the original immigrant generation, you will see the gradual eradication of values from the home country, including our positive ones.


This review of the movie 'Better Luck Tommorrow' struck a nerve with me:

http://www.slipcue.com/film/2003/filmblog03_10.html

A neo-nihilistic coming of age story, centering on a young Chinese-American overachiever named Ben, who turns to petty (and not so petty) crime as a way to relieve his boredom and ennui. The modern suburban California highschool setting feels about right, even if the choices the characters make may cause you to feel a bit queasy. .... the presentation of young teenage Asian-Americans, fully immersed in our lame, aimless popular culture, acting just as vacantly and shallowly as their white and latino counterparts, was refreshing, and the lead actor, Parry Shen, weighs in with a remarkable performance....


To that, I have to ask:what's so remarkable or refreshing about De-evolution? What are we trying to prove by acting as fucked up as your run of the mill white kid with no direction in life? All for what? In the name of acceptance - a chance to prove that we just as "fucked up" as crackas are, as if that is a mark of "American-ness"? I once would have enthusiastically agreed, but now I'm not so sure. However, I do actively recognize that this could be my ethnocentrism speaking out - whose to say that my Korean values and outlook are necessarily superior?



Anyway, with this question in mind, I then made a connection (loose? random? you decide... but to me it means something) with some quotes in an interview on one of my favorite rock bands, The Raveonettes of New York by way of Denmark/London (check them out - the bassist/singer Sharin Foo is a quarter Chinese and 3/4 Danish (her Chinese gramps shacked up with some Scandinavian chick way back when.... www.raveonettes.com 8)):


http://www.ravesadmin.com/images/1/20.jpg
(Sharin Foo.... look how she has the 'Scandinavian colors' but looks Chinese... LOL.)

http://www.ravesadmin.com/images/1/274.jpg


(Exerpt: http://concertshots.com/raveonettes_interview.htm )
Sharin Foo: In Denmark we are very, how do you say it? Everybodyís so well educated and everythingís just so straight and nice, you know? Itís that thing thatís so great about the U.S. Itís not nice. Itís so ugly and greasy (laughs). Then again, itís the whole vitality of the big cities like New York and L.A. Also, we like a lot of music that came from here and the literature. Weíre fascinated by it so we like to visit it, but we wouldnít want to be living in the States.


Interviewer: So why wouldnít you want to live here?


Sharin Foo: Itís really the way that the society is. There are so many second rate citizens and the whole politics of the StatesÖI donít agree with that




Sharin Foo is basically saying that while she enjoys life in the US, she only sees this country as a spectacle, as an outsider. Coming from an orderly and squeaky clean (and manageable) country like Denmark (only 6 million people), the utter chaos of America is fascinating for her. Good for her, I guess - but she has the privilige of merely being a spectator.


It's clear that America is far from perfect, even in theory. Our listlessness as a massive nation of drones is an ongoing [American] phenomenon - great creative/constructive endeavors are borne out of repression and alienation and ennui (just ask any of our famous American novelists, artists, musicians, or politicians/inventors that do some good in this country), but at the same time, the majority of us do not have the talent (or even luck of you can look at it that way) to make good of the situation. We become frozen in time, suspended in our own circumvent ramblings in our heads like an insect stuck in amber resin (like I'm doing right now, lol). In our frustration and impatience, we all resort to some pretty damn ugly behavior. :shock: Where do we go from here, as Asian Americans? Now that we've assimilated/acculturated better, have we reached the Promised Land?


As a 1.5 gen Korean (who is admittedly much much more Westernized than he is Korean), I can relate a lot on some level to what Sharin Foo said. Though I've been in this country for a long time and talk+act+think like an Asian American, yet I feel that I could pick up and leave if it became necessary, and not feel so much sadness. I've lived in several countries growing up, so I've always felt like a gypsy. And because I feel detached from this land, I don't feel a desperate compulsion to stick around here, no matter what. As a single man with no spouse or children, that impulse "to make a life here" is practically non-existent. Coz I could fuckin' make that life anywhere. That I am repusled by many aspects of America makes it even easier to diassociate myself spiritually from America. Going even further, it's a Catch-22 as an immigrant (who came over by default, not by personal choice, as a dependent of immigrants - my folks) - I feel that I should at least make an effort to love and accept my adopted country - but truthfullly told, I feel pretty darn apathetic. I just don't give a fuck. I hold permanent residency and could become a full citizen any time I want, but I don't (won't?). If you take that in context of non-Asians constantly questioning the loyalty and patriotism of Asian-Americans, I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am actually tired of feeling detached and soul-less, without any clear loyalties or purpose. All I do is work, have fun, and maybe fuck a few women every once in a while.



How's that for an intro? Fucken rambling beyond tedium. LOL. Feel free to chime in with opinions/attacks/condolences/taunts/kisses.[/img]

[DijabutiA]

This review of the movie 'Better Luck Tommorrow' struck a nerve with me:

http://www.slipcue.com/film/2003/filmblog03_10.html

A neo-nihilistic coming of age story, centering on a young Chinese-American overachiever named Ben, who turns to petty (and not so petty) crime as a way to relieve his boredom and ennui. The modern suburban California highschool setting feels about right, even if the choices the characters make may cause you to feel a bit queasy. .... the presentation of young teenage Asian-Americans, fully immersed in our lame, aimless popular culture, acting just as vacantly and shallowly as their white and latino counterparts, was refreshing, and the lead actor, Parry Shen, weighs in with a remarkable performance....


To that, I have to ask:what's so remarkable or refreshing about De-evolution? What are we trying to prove by acting as fucked up as your run of the mill white kid with no direction in life? All for what? In the name of acceptance - a chance to prove that we just as "fucked up" as crackas are, as if that is a mark of "American-ness"? I once would have enthusiastically agreed, but now I'm not so sure. However, I do actively recognize that this could be my ethnocentrism speaking out - whose to say that my Korean values and outlook are necessarily superior?


It isnt about De-evolution; for what ever reason, the majority of America thinks that we are so "different". Just look at the women; I don't remember who posted it but he said he got so pissed when some WF didnt see him as "asian". She was so convinced that AM's are so different but she didnt know how to say that, and pissed whatever guy off.

[xian]

Fascinating stuff. This contribution got me thinking.

A few musings:
1. You are right to feel suspicious about assimilation. While assimilation is supposed to be a trade-off--you give up your ancestoral culture, but gain an equal footing in a "better" society--history shows it never works that way. In general, those who assimilate get advantages over those who don't until they drop their native culture entirely, and then are expected to assume a position as second-class citizens. "Whitification" is a different story, but so far all evidence points to the fact that those who are visibly non-white will NEVER experience whitification even if that is their goal.

2. As a result, in terms of your question of where Asian America goes from here, I think we have no choice--we must destroy the value systems in this country which de-value all non-white, partriarchal cultural property. (Not just the encouragement of assimilation, but also the quasi-liberal white appropriation of non-white cultures.)

3. You say you feel an obligation to "love and accept" your adopted country. But you feel apathetic. I would think that since "loving' and "accepting" are mutually exclusive, that it is natural that you would feel apathy or even frustration at this impossible task. Thoughtful, constructive criticism IS love. I don't like the U.S. too much more than anywhere else, and I don't even believe in the sanctity of national borders, but I do consider my behavior to be ultra-patriotic for the country in that I want and work for what's best for everyone in America. The indoctrinated folks who call minority groups "whiners" and "unpatriotic" and "PC" when we criticize the layout of the society are themselves the most unpatriotic of all in that they are willfully compromising the ideals of the country to justify their own daily prejudices. (The PC reference is not meant to be a cheap shot. But I have to be honest and tell you that I believe that your reckless, poorly defined use of the term indicates one part of white indoctrination that you have swallowed.)

Anyhow, nice post. I like the way you worked explanations of how outside influence have affected your line of thinking.

[yo]

yo k,

i think one of the underlying themes in your post was the idea that you don't (can't, won't) think of the u.s. as your adopted home. i think that feelings like this are an inevitability; as population increases, transportation and communication becomes more pervasive, etc., people are going to move more and more. the traditional agrarian concept of "loving the land, the same land your mother and father and grandparents loved," is quickly becoming outdated in the modern world. in that sense, as immigrants or the children of immigrants, asian americans are ahead of the rest of the world in the sense that they've already adopted to a large extent this attitude of a "rootless existence." however, we see the greater white american masses with their concept of "home" and "belonging," and we envy that. i feel that a century from now, not only asian americans, but nearly all people will feel this "rootlessness" we now feel due to increased migration and whatnot; if anything, our status as immigrants makes us "trailblazers" in that direction. shit, in a century or so, american whites may be spread to china. to a large extent, the injustice of america is that it makes immigration to it so restrictive (in that sense, heh, land of the free my ass).

i also think some people will retain their traditional concepts, these people will be like the amish of the future or something.

[kalbi]

yo k,

i think one of the underlying themes in your post was the idea that you don't (can't, won't) think of the u.s. as your adopted home. i think that feelings like this are an inevitability; as population increases, transportation and communication becomes more pervasive, etc., people are going to move more and more. the traditional agrarian concept of "loving the land, the same land your mother and father and grandparents loved," is quickly becoming outdated in the modern world. in that sense, as immigrants or the children of immigrants, asian americans are ahead of the rest of the world in the sense that they've already adopted to a large extent this attitude of a "rootless existence." however, we see the greater white american masses with their concept of "home" and "belonging," and we envy that. i feel that a century from now, not only asian americans, but nearly all people will feel this "rootlessness" we now feel due to increased migration and whatnot; if anything, our status as immigrants makes us "trailblazers" in that direction. shit, in a century or so, american whites may be spread to china. to a large extent, the injustice of america is that it makes immigration to it so restrictive (in that sense, heh, land of the free my ass).

i also think some people will retain their traditional concepts, these people will be like the amish of the future or something.


Thanks, that was a good post... put things into perspective.


I've lived in many places around the world, and consider myself an "International Citizen" more than anything else. Right now I hold a Korean passport and have American Permanent Residency, but I don't feel that much allegiance to either country. I've grown up around a gaggle of nationalities, and I am most comfortable in a diverse setting. This is why I would have no problem living in Europe - I enjoy the culture/history/art/popular culture, find the people to be engaging and generally more respectful of my ancestral heritage than Yanks are, and just find it more hospitable. If Asia wasn't so homogenic, I would have no problem living there (in fact that would be my preference if that were the case) - but alas, Asia is not like that.


This might explain why I'm more comfortable with the concept of IRs with non-Asians than many AAs seem to be - for them, growing up in such a racially polaraized society (anyone who has lived abroad will know what I mean by this - especially in other Western nations or in melting pots like Hong Kong or Singapore or Dubai, for example) has irrevocably shaped their views - they are forced to "choose" - it's either us or them. This type of provincialism and regional small-thinking is no doubt related to the 'home and hearth' concept you discussed, yo (I also think it definately has to do with the geographic isolation of N. America). It's a shame, because Americans could become much better people by learn from other nations/cultures - Western or not.