Series: Interview with an Asshole.

[generaltojo]

Here at Core 44 HQ, weíve decided to run a weekly feature that asks ten piercing, relevant, and soul-revealing questions to a Core 44, so you fuckers can get to know us a little better. Come on back each week to read a new oneÖ collect all five and weíll give you a solid boot to the head.

Anyhoo, we might even extend this interview to one of you funnier / prolific fucks on the discussion board, and post it so youíll become immortalized for the ages and shit. If you are so honoured, just mail the thing back to generaltojo@thefighting44s.com, I'll post the thing up, sit back, relax, and just let all the personal abuse come to you in good time.

[generaltojo]

Here's mine...

1. Whatís your 44 moniker, you fucker?

Tojo. ìPain will Purify. Trust in Tojo.î

2. Whyíd you choose that moniker, you fucker?

Believe it or not, for a pretty damned good reason (and if you donít believe it, you can just suck mah balls.)

http://www.thefighting44s.com/discussion/viewtopic.php?t=59&highlight=tojo+appropriate

3. Whatís your sub-ethnicity (Thai, Cambodian, Mongolian, etc.) and whatís the best thing about it, you fucker?

Actually, Iím whiter than the driven snow. And there ainít nothing good about it other than the fact that I control the world and all itís denizens with privilege and terror.

I am also a pathological liar, among other things. Trust in Tojo.

4. Whatís the issue you find most important to the Asian North American community today, and why, you fucker?

Intra-ethnicity racism and hatred. I find it disgusting how fractured the North American community is ñ if it isnít the sub-ethnicities fighting amongst each other, or misperceptions and prejudices held over from ze fatahlahnd, or Asian women dumping on and rejecting the men, or or or or orÖ well, letís just say weíd all better get our fucking shit together and forge a modern, contemporary Asian North American identity, or we will continue to deserve any and all the bullshit piled onto us by The Man. I, for one, will not stand for that, just because some stupid and selfish "Azn" isnít able to look past his or her fucking ass-crack at the bigger picture.

C'mon 44. Letís all focus on the REAL enemy.

5. Describe your ideal mate, you fucker.

Someone who buys into the same vision as I do. And someone who is able to tolerate me and my extremes ñ Iím not an evil person, really quite nice and soft inside, sort of like a burnt marshmallow at a campfire roast.

Other than that, there is no racial criteria: ìRed and yellow, black and white, theyíre all precious in my sightÖ unless they are a Cracker-Chasing Bitch, in which case they must be exterminated with extreme prejudice.î Oh yes, a love of high-calibre weapons would help also. And blowjobs (although I never know how to get that taste out of my mouthÖ)

6. Whatís favourite vice do you indulge in, you fucker?

Other that sticking super-heated coat hangars up my urethra, sticking super-heated coat hangars up some other personís urethra. Oh, and drinking heavily.

7. Do you encounter a lot of racism? If so, what do you usually do about it, you fucker?

Yup. Have, do, and will probably will encounter racism. I love Amerikka, don't you? What I do depends on my mood:

a) Ignore it if I have some other pressing matter to attend to.
b) Communicate and enlighten if I care to do so.
c) Exterminate with intellect or any available weapon, especially if I need a little pick-me-up confidence booster in the morning.
d) Drink heavily afterwards, in any case.

8. If you were to be arrested, what crime would it probably be for, you fucker?

Justifiable homicide. Tojoís anger is always righteous and just and good, so it basically means if I ever commit homicide, it will always be justified. Trust in Tojo.

(Whether I beat the rap is another issue, entirely...)

9. Whatís your weapon of choice, you fucker?

Ruger AC-556, selective-fire, .223 (5.56mm) cartridge: flat trajectory and excellent energy retention at long ranges. Add on a muzzle flash suppressor, military bayonet lug, protected front sight, selective-fire control lever, and youíre ready to light up anything worthy of your attention.

Oh, and my astounding intelligence coupled with a rapier wit.

10. You have permission to bitch-slap one person on this planet. Who would it be, you fucker?

Ex-girlfriend. Next question.

There are no other questions, asshole. Comments, though, are welcome.

44 could be the start of something big, and something good. Get on the ground floor, or prepare to face the onslaught of rough justice, rough law.

[generaltojo]

Here's one from everyone's favourite gojira, Yellow Peril.

1. Whatís your 44 moniker, you fucker?

I'm Yellow_Peril ... scourge of the fighting 44s website. I'm not actually an asshole, I just play one on T.V.

2. Whyíd you choose that moniker, you fucker?

I picked it as a reminder in what we are all seen as in North America. Okay, sure so they don't use those words anymore, but if you study the Media (like me) then you'd realize that their opinion of us hasan't really changed. we really are STILL seen as Yellow Perils.

There was also some other dude that had a similar name as mine on the forums. but I think my constant postings, (and threatening PMs) pretty much scared him away.... which is a shame. he/she seemed an okay guy.

3. Whatís your sub-ethnicity (Thai, Cambodian, Mongolian, etc.) and whatís the best thing about it, you fucker?

I'm Chinese Jamacian with 1/32 Scottish on my Mum's side. which pretty much means, I'm a shy drunk with a real big dick.

I came to Canada very young, and pretty much faced the bigotry that most Asian dudes faced. While other CJs drifted to the more black side of their heritage, I've pretty much kept in touch with my Asian heritage (mainly because my dad is 100% singaporian chinese)

I would have to say, the best thing about my mix is the good eating.. food is pretty important to the CJ household.. one day it's ox tail stew, next day it's potsticker dim sum dumplings.

4. Whatís the issue you find most important to the Asian American / Canadian community today, and why, you fucker?

The lack of empathy and the Asian in-fighting is a HUGE problem. I feel it's the biggest thing holding down Asian Male enpowerment. how are you supposed to feel like a man, when other men are putting you down. (especially ones that have identical problems?)

I think North America did a real number on the Asian Male Psyche, we are so.... far gone..

I can't begin to tell you the pain I feel when I see little asian dudes getting the same harsh treatment I got while growing up... If AMs were more united back in my day, and delt HEAD ON with some of the bullshit we faced.. maybe the little brothers wouldn't be going through the same idential bullshit. I do feel like I failed them... that seriously puts a damper on your self-worth.

5. Describe your ideal mate, you fucker.

Well, someone who talks to me, and fucks me like a whore in bed. I like sex, so she better have an appetite... (and kinky to boot).

I think some of my rage transforms into sexual energy... which maybe the reason why some women approach me (no.. no.. really..) .. call it curiousity, I guess (shrug) I've been told I have a certain mystique about me.. (or dialectic once described as... intensity? )

For example this one time, during the peak of climax, just before I came, I climbed out of bed... and punched a hole in the dry wall.. .. okay, this was a wackjob thing to do.. and maybe... to "ordinary" women.. this was a sure sign to get the hell out of there. but .. well, the woman I was with, totally got off on this.. we ended up screwing for another 12 hours!!! --- pure gold.

Anyways, screw me.. talk to me, and get off my back when I'm busy.. and we'll get along fine.

6. Whatís favourite vice do you indulge in, you fucker?

Drinking, I think i'm a border-line achoholic.. I also eat a lot, I don't think there isn't a time where you don't see me stuffing my face. But I work out, so it all balances out.

I'm not a fan of the more common Asian vices like gambling... gambling actually repulses me.. can't get within 100 yds of a casino without throwing up. I have no respect for it, or anybody that likes doing it.

7. Do you encounter a lot of racism? If so, what do you usually do about it, you fucker?

Does a bear shit in the woods? racism has, and unfortunately will, always be a part of me.. I don't think (at least these days) have I ever been outwardly called a 'chink' ... maybe because I'm a rather large guy? But I have been treated in a way, that has made me feel like a 2nd class citizen. it's a horrible feeling... I don't loose sleep when whites are racist ... but it does annoy the fuck out of me when a FOB does it.. I usually get it a lot from Indian cab drivers.

Most of my racist encoutners, usually end up in some sort of brawl..(verbal and eventually physcial) I've been lucky, my actions haven't landed me in hot water .. yet. But it's usually the same result.. the guy insults you, you insult him.. he get's scared and backs off, because in his 'idea little world' as an asian dude you're supposed to be the a coward. I'd have to say, unless he's some real big fucker with 'roid rage' .. 8 out of 10 ... he's a coward with some "i'm white.. how come my life isn't so great?" complex... and well, add in factors like 'liquid courage' by the end of the night, we both think we're bad asses.

I do feel bad that I have to resort to such actions.. but ya know.. when as an adult and you're defending yourself from the identical slurs that were hurled at you as a kid... well, something is terribly wrong.

8. If you were to be arrested, what crime would it probably be for, you fucker?

No, never been arrested, but when I was living in Toronto, my place was raided by E.T.F. (Toronto's SWAT emergency task force) ... it was a whole big misunderstanding, the white crackheads downstairs were brewing XTC, and for some reason the Intel suggested that the whole building was a big drug processing lab (I was the tenant upstairs..) when they kicked down my door, they found a rather large asian dude with his dick in his hand. and well, naturally assumed I was the ringleader. Imagine their surprise when they realized I wasan't even remotely involved.. they were actually pretty cool, even offered to have my door fixed.

Ironically, if I were to be arrested for a crime.. it would probably be for running a big drug processing lab in my house.

9. Whatís your weapon of choice, you fucker?

The Garotte. (thick piano wire with wooden handles) I like to sneak in from behind, and fuck them up.. the best part is the look on their face when you're choking the life out of them that "help me... gasp.. help me.. I.. I.. .. I'm sooo soooorry..It's getting soooo cold...." hahahaah .. the look on their face is absolutely priceless.

10. You have permission to bitch-slap one person on this planet. Who would it be, you fucker?

That's easy ... STAN KAMENSKI .. a fucking polish wanna-be wop gino that used to give me a hard time growing up. The funny thing is.. I actually did bitch-slap him (right in front of his homies) .. he didn't take it to kindly .. and got a real big mutha fuckin' wop to pound the tar out of me.. which in return, I got a real big fuckin' black guy to pound the shit out of him. pure childishness...

Interestingly enough, I've been pretty much been tracking Stan Kamenski all these years to see what's he been up to.. let's see.. highschool drop out, charged for sexual assult (did jail time) .. did rehab for minor coke use, divorced.. still greasy looking, drives a shitty 1987 car, about 50lb overweight, and pretty much nothing much going on in his life. oh.. and very very angry with hints of severe depression.

I think he may eventually kill himself. (which is no skin off my back) heck, once he does, I'll probably go to the funeral, pretending to be an "old highschool" friend, make a pass at his little sister, and raid the snack table.

[generaltojo]

One from our very own MC.

1. Whatís your 44 moniker, you fucker?

Dialectic, the Stealth M.C.

2. Whyíd you choose that moniker, you fucker?

"Dialectic" 'cause I say shit that seems to contradict other shit I say all the time. And it's ALL true from the higher plane on which I reside. "Stealth M.C." 'cause I fly under your radar and drop lyrical cluster bombs.

3. Whatís your sub-ethnicity (Thai, Cambodian, Mongolian, etc.) and whatís the best thing about it, you fucker?

Mandarin Chinese, half Anhui, half Zhejiang, born in Formosa the beautiful isle. As a result of this perfect mix, hot Korean chicks mistake me for one of their own all the time.

4. Whatís the issue you find most important to the North American Asian community today, and why, you fucker?

We got to differentiate ourselves and THEN integrate ourselves into ever wider and deeper wholes. And when I say integrate, I DO NOT mean assimilate. I mean to TRANSCEND differences by preserving the good they provide and negating the bad that they bring, thereby being more inclusive and worldcentric. This is the most important issue facing EVERYONE today. Except those dudes with no money or food.

5. Describe your ideal mate, you fucker.

Alive. Hey, you asked for ideal.

6. What favourite vice do you indulge in, you fucker?

Unemployment, going to bed when the sun rises, gettingí my eat on at Popeyeís every Tuesday, and this fuckiní website which is DESTROYING MY LIFE.

If I may, Iíd like to re-address question 5 on a serious note. In addition to alive, Iíd like to add kind, smart, and hot. The first two and the last are mutually exclusive, I know. UNLESS the chick was ugly in highschool, forced to develop a sweet personality, and THEN got hot. That would be fuckin' TIGHT.

7. Do you encounter a lot of racism? If so, what do you usually do about it, you fucker?

It's all about destroying a man physically AND psychologically. I mean Rodney Kingin' a dude is all good, but he'll stoke his hatred and come back. If you crush him inside, take away his sense of purpose, instill fear, make him doubt himself and recognize his inferiority, then you win. Either that or you kill him, his whole family, and all his friends Jiang Hu style.


8. If you were to be arrested, what crime would it probably be for, you fucker?

Walking up to my front door or doing the Rodney on some ignorant muthafucka. No joke about my door either: itís covered in graffiti and opens to an alley usually filled with bums, potheads, and a crack smoker or two. People literally piss on my doorstep during the day. In the summer we got kids regularly coming down and changing up the art on the alley walls. The only thing they donít touch is a painting of this badass Arab riding a camel with the name JAFAR carved into his sword next to my door. One night a squadcar just paused in front of me and stared as I went in my own damn house. ìAnd the only po-po we know is the pigs on the hook out by the window.î

Hey I just realized that in question 7, another answer would be to develop mutual understanding, respect, and compassion. But that gay shit never works and someone always ends up losing an eye.

9. Whatís your weapon of choice, you fucker?

Whatever bigass tank or ICBM U.S. and Israeli forces use to kill Arabs while sippin' on Starbucks. It seems to work. If something smaller, than a pair of silver Desert Eagles ëcause I like that Kanye/Luda track. If goin' old school, then either a pair of Chinese tigerhooks or Japanese tonfa. If in the bedroom, my own weapon is all I need.

10. You have permission to bitch-slap one person on this planet. Who would it be, you fucker?

Oh there are so many, this is like asking Ron Jeremy if he could choose his favorite acting partner. Iím gonna go for the unoriginal but tried-and-true answer of my boy Dubya. I believe that with all the ridiculous things he has done and tried to get away with, that he is begging me to come over there right now and not only give him the ol' 44 backhand, but the olí 44 flaming-hamster-up-his-anal-tract-while-paper-cutting-the-skin-between-his-fingers-lips-and-toes-like-in-Jackass. And I'd video tape it and sell it to Arabs, church groups, and oil tycoons all over the world.

Any other comments, you asshole?

I EVER meet ANY of you in person, I want yíall to SCREAM 44 at the top of your lungs and then buy me more beer than I can handle.

[generaltojo]

Here's one from Blockthebox, our newest 44 Assassin...

*****

1. What's your 44 moniker, you fucker?

Blockthebox: It's ripped from NYC traffic signs ñ "Don't Block the Box".

"When you block the box, you're not really getting yourself to your destination any faster. But you are preventing other people from getting to theirs. You're needlessly tying up traffic in a way that causes congestion to cascade into side streets and disrupts whole neighborhoods. You're showing a profound lack of respect for the rights of other people."

- Rudolph W. Giuliani

I think I'm pretty awesome for extracting profundity from a simple mayoral directive.

2. Why'd you choose that moniker, you fucker?

It could mean so many different things. You're free to come up with your own interpretation.

3. What's your sub-ethnicity (Thai, Cambodian, Mongolian, etc.) and what's the best thing about it, you fucker?

Ahhh, the stink of pickled Chinese cabbage.

4. What's the issue you find most important to the Asian American / Canadian community today, and why, you fucker?

Wha? There are Asian Canadians?

5. Describe your ideal mate, you fucker.

Someone with a pulse. Preferably a man.

6. What's favourite vice do you indulge in, you fucker?

Cancer sticks and a bottle of Maker's Mark.

7. Do you encounter a lot of racism? If so, what do you usually do about it, you fucker?

No, but when I do, I scream shrilly like that girl in Run Lola Run (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0130827/).

8. If you were to be arrested, what crime would it probably be for, you fucker?

Urinating on the slain body of my ex-lover.

9. What's your weapon of choice, you fucker?

The other guy's stupidity. And my lower center of gravity.

10. You have permission to bitch-slap one person on this planet. Who would it be, you fucker?

I'm not a physically violent person. I prefer inflicting psychological trauma. It's so much more damaging.

[generaltojo]

And here's one from everyone's favourite K-anarchist, AsianMilitia.

*****

1. Whatís your 44 moniker, you fucker?
AsianMilitia [Central Michigan Faction].

2. Whyíd you choose that moniker, you fucker?

Cause I hate the government, I hate society, I hate people, I hate you, I just hate, and I'm all up in arms about it.

3. Whatís your sub-ethnicity (Thai, Cambodian, Mongolian, etc.) and whatís the best thing about it, you fucker?

Korean. Nothing.

4. Whatís the issue you find most important to the Asian American / Canadian community today, and why, you fucker?
More empowerment through the media.

I strongly believe that we need to encourage more Asians to study law. That is one field where Asians have a very poor representation. This is unfortunate considering so many, if not most, people in high positions have law backgrounds: politicians, media moguls, etc.

5. Describe your ideal mate, you fucker.

Wife: Pretty face, slim, doesn't complain much, independent, successful, smart.

Mistress: Real nice round ass, slutty.

Mistress #2: Real nice round ass, slutty.

Mistress #3: Real nice round ass, slutty.

6. Whatís favourite vice do you indulge in, you fucker?

Doing drugs, gambling, shooting guns, fucking hoes [whether it be paid or not], assaulting people.

7. Do you encounter a lot of racism?

Use to when I was a youth. If so, what do you usually do about it, you fucker? Walk up to the perpetrator and punch him in the face. If I'm out-numbered, I just take it out on the next unfortunate motherfucker. Haven't been called chink in a while, which is a good thing, because I've gotten quite deranged and ornery with my advancing age. I might just shoot people up.

8. If you were to be arrested, what crime would it probably be for, you fucker?

Shooting someone.

9. Whatís your weapon of choice, you fucker?

Glock [actually any high-caliber gun that can easily mame and kill people].

10. You have permission to bitch-slap one person on this planet. Who would it be, you fucker?

Too many to list. I hate most people. Fuck em all.

[generaltojo]

Here's one from our very own PiMp:

*****

1. Whatís your 44 moniker, you fucker?

PIMP KIM CHEE, BUT PEEPS ON DA FORUMS JUST CUT IT DOWN TO PKC CAUSE I GUESS DAY JUST AS LAZY AS ME...FUCKIN LAZY ASS BITCHES. AND FUCK YOU TOO.

2. Whyíd you choose that moniker, you fucker?

I DIDNT CHOOSE SHIT. I WAS SITTIN ON MA COUCH TOKIN MAD HITS, PUMPIN LUDACRIS, AND STROKIN CRAZY DRIVER SHOTS ON TW2K4 WHEN I LOOKED UP AND SAWS DIS BRIGHT LIGHT COMIN FROM DA CEILIN. AT FIRST I THOUGHT DA SHIT I WAS SMOKIN WAS LACED WIT ACID AND WAS ABOUT TO PICK UP DA CELLY AND BITCH TYRONE DA FUCK OUT WHEN I HEARD DIS BOOMIN VOICE FROM ABOVE COMIN IN SUPER THX, DOLBY DIGITAL 6.1 OR WHATEVER. DA VOICE SAID, "DA TIME HAS COME, MUTHAFUCKA."

A LOOK OF SHOCK AND AMAZEMENT CAME TO MA SLANTY EYED FACE AND I WAS LIKE, "G? BIG G UP ABOVE? IS DAT YOU?"

AND HE WAS LIKE, "SHONUFF, MA SLANTY EYED, DEVASTATINLY HANDSOME AZN CREATION. YOU HOLDIN?"

AND I WAS LIKE, "FESHO, YOU KNOW HOW WE DO. DAMN BIG G, WHATDADEAL? WHATS IT LIKE CREATIN LIFE, MOVIN DA UNIVERSE, BATTLIN LUCIFER IN DA TRENCHES, KEEPIN DEM WINGED BITCHES IN CHECK, AND BEIN ALL SEEIN AND KNOWIN OR WHATEVER ALL AT DA SAME TIME?"

AND HE WAS LIKE, "IT AAAIGHT. BUT WHATEVER. NOW LISSEN HEEAH. DA TIME HAS COME. YO SMOOTH STYLIN, PIMP AS FUCK AZN ASS HAS BEEN COOPED UP IN YO CRAZY ASS LIFE FOR TOO LONG. IT IS TIME YOU SHARED YO CRAZY FLAVA AND MAD STYLINS WIT DA WORLD."

I WAS LIKE, "OH SHIT, G. YOU HOOKIN ME UP WIT A RECORD DEAL?"

AND HE WAS LIKE, "NAH, FOOLIO. I AINT GIVIN YOU NOTHIN OF MATERIAL VALUE. I IS GIVIN YOU SOMETHIN FAR MORE POWERFUL. I IS GIVIN YOU A NAME. A NAME FROM WHICH YO ASS CAN PREACH TO ALL DEM SLANTY EYED MUTHAFUCKAS DAT JUST DONíT KNOW WHATDADEALYO. A NAME DATLL LIVE ON LONG AFTER YO PUNK ASS IS
BURIED DOWN DEEP IN DA GROUND AND FEEDIN MAGGOTS AN SHIT. DA NAME...IS PIMP."

AND I WAS LIKE, "PIMP? DATS IT? DAT SHITS KINDA WEAK, ESPECIALLY COMIN FROM YO OMNIPOTENT HOLY ASS. EVERYBODY SAY DAY A PIMP NOWADAYS. SHIT, I BET DAY WAS EVEN A FEW SCRAWNY ASS ROMAN PUNKS NAMED "PIMP" BACK IN JCS DAY PEDDLIN DRIED FISH AND MANNA ON DA STREET CORNERS OR WHATEVER, I MEANS..."

AND HE WAS LIKE, "SHUT YO TRIPPIN ASS UP, BIATCH. DATS ONLY PART OF IT. I IS NAMIN YOU AFTER SOME SHIT DAT GOTS CRAZY FLAVA, DATS BOLD, DAT AINT AFRAID TO BE ITSELF, DAT DOMINATES NO MATTER WHO ITS WIT, AND DAT AINT FOR DA WEAK AT HEART OR MIND. FOR DA PEEPS DAT DONT APPROACH IT WIT RESPECT, IT DOES NOT HESITATE TO SEVERELY BEAT DAY BITCH ASSES TO DA GROUND. BUT FOR DA PEEPS DAT COME WIT DA RIGHT MINDSET, DA MOMENT DAT SHIT ENTERS DAY REALITY, DAY CONVERTS FOR LIFE."

AND I WAS LIKE, "AAAIGHT, SO WHATS DA REST OF DA NAME, YO?"

AND HE WAS LIKE, "ILL SHOWS YOU DA REST OF YO NAME"

AND RIGHT AT DAT MOMENT, I SAWS AN OBJECT APPEAR OUT OF DA AIR AND HOVER RIGHT ABOVE MA HEAD. I COULD SEES DAT IT WAS DIS LARGE GLASS CONTAINER DAT HAD SOME FUNKY CHUNKY SHIT INSIDE IT SOAKED IN DIS RED LIQUID. RIGHT AS I WAS ABOUT TO STAND UP AND GRAB DAT SHIT, DAT SHADY BIG G SHOUTED, "HAAAAAAAAAAAH...LOOK OUT BELOW, BIATCH!" AND DA FLOATIN CONTAINER SUDDENLY DROPPED LIKE A ROCK, LANDIN STRAIGHT ON MA HEAD AND KNOCKIN ME OUT COLD LIKE A BITCH. I EVENTUALLY CAME TO WIT DIS LARGE AS FUCK BUMP ON MA HEAD AND WHEN MY VISION STRAIGHTENED OUT, I LOOKED AROUND ME AND ON DA FLOOR, DAY IT WAS. A LARGE ASS JAR OF KIM CHEE. FROM DAT DAY ON, I WAS PIMP KIM CHEE (OR PKC, DEPENDIN ON HOW LAZY YOU IS). AND FUCK YOU TOO.

3. Whatís your sub-ethnicity (Thai, Cambodian, Mongolian, etc.) and whatís the best thing about it, you fucker?

IM 100%, PURE BRED SOUTH KOREAN, MUTHAFUCKA. PKC REPRESENTIN DA SK FOR LIFE, RIDE OR DIE. TO BE REAL, DAY AINT MUCH DATS HOT ABOUT BEIN SK ALONE. I AINT WIT DA NOREBANG OR WHATEVER, SOJU AINT ALL DAT, DA ONLY SPORTS DAY GOOD AT IS WUSSY SPORTS, I BOUGHT A SAMSUNG TV ONCE AND IT BROKE DA FUCK DOWN AFTER DA SECOND DAY, AND MOST A DEM SK FOBS AINT SHIT BUT FEMININE PUSSY WHIPPED ARROGANT BITCHES DAT JUST BE BEGGIN FOR A DEVASTATIN BEATIN BY PKC DA CHAMPION FOB FIGHTA (WELCOME TO AMERICA, BAM! NO, I AINT DOWN WIT DJ DOC, BOOM! BETTER RUN HOME TO YO OMA, POW!). BUT SKS ALWAYS MANAGE TO POP OUT OF NOWHERE AND THRIVE WHERE YOU WOULDNT ESPECT DEM TOO. WE UNDERGROUND LIKE ROACHES, ALWAYS LIVIN, NEVER DYIN. WE GOTS DA FIGHTIN SPIRIT DEEP IN OUR VEINS, AND DATS WHAT KEEPS US KEEPIN ON WHEN WE BEIN OPPRESSED BY DA MOST DAUNTIN OF ENEMIES. AND FUCK YOU TOO.

4. Whatís the issue you find most important to the Asian American /
Canadian community today, and why, you fucker?

DA BITCHIFICATION OF DA AZN MAN, FORREAL. ITS DA MUTHAFUCKIN 21ST CENTURY. ITS SAD HOW MUCH DISCRIMINATION DAY BE AGAINST AZNS TODAY, AND NONE OF DA BLACK OR WHITE PEEPS AROUND MA OPRESSED ASS SEES IT FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS.WE DA ONLY MINORITY DAT HASNT BEEN BROUGHT INTO SOCIETY PROPER LIKE AND MARK MA WORDS, MUTHAFUCKAS, DAT SHITS GONNA CHANGE WHETHER DAY LIKE IT OR NOT. FUCK ALL DEM HOES, I SAY. DA LONGER DAY PUT US DOWN, DA MORE POWERFUL OUR REVOLUTION WILL BE.AND FUCK YOU TOO.

5. Describe your ideal mate, you fucker.

18YRS OLD, 5'4", 110LBS, THAI/SK MIX, BLACK HAIR, DARK BROWN EYES, 2004 LPGA TOUR ROOKIE WIT 15 STARTS, 3 TOP FINISHES, AND $329,442 IN EARNINS (SO FAR), SPONSORED BY BEANPOLE,TITLEIST, AND FOOTJOY, NAMED 2002 AMATEUR OF THE YEAR BY GOLF DIGEST, AND HAS A TWIN SISTER NAMED NAREE. AND FUCK YOU TOO.

6. Whatís favourite vice do you indulge in, you fucker?

HAH. VICES. FUCK VICES. VICES IS DICATATED BY MORAL AND LEGAL RULES DAT EXIST OUTSIDE MY BEIN. IM MY OWN MUTHAFUCKA. I DICTATE MY OWN REALITY, FOOL. BUT I KNOWS WHAT CHOO HITTIN AT, AND MA FAVORITE "VICE" IS HERB. WEED. CANNABIS. SHIT, I GOTS TO BUST A RHYME ABOUT DAT SHIT CAUSE JUST SAYIN IT AINT ENOUGH. YALL READY? WELL FUCK YOU IF YOU NOT, I AINT STOPPIN.UHH...UHHH...UHHH....

CA...NABIS, I SMOKE YOU EVERY NIGHT
CA...NABIS, YOU NEVER LEAVE MA SIGHT
CA...NABIS, YOU ALWAYZ EASE MA PLIGHT
CA...NABIS, YOU MA HO FOR LIFE, CHECKIT

DAY NOTHIN BETTER DAN BIG. FAT. BUUUUDS.
DONíT FORGET DAT BONG AND CASE. OF. SUUUUUDS.
JUST A FEW HITS AND I CAN FEELS. DAT. RUUUUUSH.
DAT CHRO-NIC SMOKE BE SWEETER. DAN. FUUUUDGE.

I SMOKE ALL DA TIME, YOU KNOW HOW WE DO
PLEASE, FUCK AN EIGTH, I WANT A POUND OR TWO
ONCE WE FULLY STOCKED, MAD TOKES WILL INSUE
AND IF YOU DONT MATCH MA HITS, BETTER GO HOME FOO

I SMOKE EVERYWHERE, NAME DA PLACE AND TIME
AT DA PARK, IN A TRUCK, ANY HOUSE IS FINE
IVE SMOKED IN DA SLUMS AND ON DA MAG MILE
AND ALWAYS FINDA DA TIME TO PUNK A FEW A-ZN-PHILES

PEEPS BUY FROM ME CAUSE MA SHIT GOTS FLAVAAAAA.
ILL SELL TO YOU, IF YOU A THUG OR A RAVAAAAA
I SELL TO HOT CHICKS CAUSE DAY SEES ME AS A SAVIAAAA
AND IF DAY AINT GOTS DA CASH, DAY OFFER NAAAASTY FAVAAAAS (HOLLA!)

SMO-KIN CHRONIC IS DA THANG. I. DO.
I HIGH ALL DA TIME AND STASH. MAD. LOOT.
I CANT DENY DAT SHIT CAUSE ITS. DA. TRUTH.
SO DATS MA VICE, TOJ, AND FUCK. YOU. TOO.

7. Do you encounter a lot of racism? If so, what do you usually do about it, you fucker?

I DONT ENCOUNTER NO OVERT RACISM, BUT DAT SHIT AINT TOO HARD TO FIND IF I WANTED TO (LIKE IF I TRIED TO KICK IT WIT DEM IGNANT CRACKAS ON DA SOUTH SIDE OR DEM CHINANO BITCHES ON DA WEST). I LIVE IN A SOMEWHAT TOLERANT HOOD, SO MOST OF DA TIME I AINT GOT SHIT TO WORRY ABOUT. AND FUCK YOU TOO.

8. If you were to be arrested, what crime would it probably be for, you
fucker?

ASSAULT, PROBABLY FOR THROWIN A BOTTLE OF BEER SQUARELY IN DA FACE OF SOME IGNANT MUTHAFUCKA DAT BE TALKIN SHIT AT DA CLUB. I GOTS MA BAIL MONEY STASHED UP, AND IGNANT FUCKS LIKE DEM AINT GONNA LEARN SHIT WITHOUT SOMEONE DRIVIN DA POINT HOME (OR INTO DAY UGLY, BLEACHED ASS SOON TO BE CAVED IN FACES). AND FUCK YOU TOO.

9. Whatís your weapon of choice, you fucker?

KINDNESS, ACTIN LIKE A CHILLED OUT WHIPPED AZN PUSSY MUTHAFUCKA FORREAL. DAT ALLOWS ME TO SEE PEEPS FOR WHO DAY REALLY IS AND WEED OUT DA "IGNANT CAUSE I DONíT KNOW ANY BETTER" CRACKAS FROM "IGNANT CAUSE I LIKE BEIN IGNANT" CRACKA BITCHES. DEN, I BEFRIEND DA LATTER PARTY, INVITE DEM OUT TO
DA BAR, GET DEM SO FUCKIN DRUNK DAY CANT SEE STRAIGHT, AND DEN AROUND 4AM DROP HIS SOON TO BE IN OVERWELMIN PAIN ASS ON DA FRONT STEPS OF DA CABRINI GREEN PROJECTS WIT NO CLOTHES ON, HANDS TIED BEHIND DAY BACK, AND DUCT TAPE SLAPPED ACROSS HIS IGNANT REMARK SPITTIN MOUTH. AND FUCK YOU TOO.

10. You have permission to bitch-slap one person on this planet. Who would it be, you fucker?

MA POPS, AND IF DAY AINT NO ONE TO HOLD ME BACK, I AINT GONNA STOP AT JUST A SLAP. AND FUCK YOU TOO.

[bluejives]

query to generaltojo:

that 'j' in 'tojo', is it pronounced in the standard anglo sense or in the spanish/hispanic sense?

[angi]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

[bluejives]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

thank you, angi. but i was asking generaltojo.

[generaltojo]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

thank you, angi. but i was asking generaltojo.

Angi's right, but I think it'd be pretty funny to pronounce it To-ho. Maybe add Luis before it: General Luis Tojo, Shortstop, Cincinatti Reds. That's muh name, don't overuse it... ;)

[xian]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

thank you, angi. but i was asking generaltojo.

Angi's right, but I think it'd be pretty funny to pronounce it To-ho. Maybe add Luis before it: General Luis Tojo, Shortstop, Cincinatti Reds. That's muh name, don't overuse it... ;)

Why would anyone want to identify themselves with Luis Sojo?

[generaltojo]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

thank you, angi. but i was asking generaltojo.

Angi's right, but I think it'd be pretty funny to pronounce it To-ho. Maybe add Luis before it: General Luis Tojo, Shortstop, Cincinatti Reds. That's muh name, don't overuse it... ;)

Why would anyone want to identify themselves with Luis Sojo?

1990 25 TOR AL 33 80 14 18 3 0 1 9 1 1 5 5 .225 .271 .300 24 0 0 0 0 1
1991 26 CAL AL 113 364 38 94 14 1 3 20 4 2 14 26 .258 .295 .327 119 19 0 0 5 12
1992 27 CAL AL 106 368 37 100 12 3 7 43 7 11 14 24 .272 .299 .378 139 7 1 0 1 14
1993 28 TOR AL 19 47 5 8 2 0 0 6 0 0 4 2 .170 .231 .213 10 2 1 0 0 3
1994 29 SEA AL 63 213 32 59 9 2 6 22 2 1 8 25 .277 .308 .423 90 3 1 0 2 2
1995 30 SEA AL 102 339 50 98 18 2 7 39 4 2 23 19 .289 .335 .416 141 6 1 0 1 9
1996 31 SEA AL 77 247 20 52 8 1 1 16 2 2 10 13 .211 .244 .263 65 6 0 0 1 8
NYY AL 18 40 3 11 2 0 0 5 0 0 1 4 .275 .286 .325 13 2 1 0 0 2
TOT AL 95 287 23 63 10 1 1 21 2 2 11 17 .220 .250 .272 78 8 1 0 1 10
1997 32 NYY AL 77 215 27 66 6 1 2 25 3 1 16 14 .307 .355 .372 80 5 2 0 1 5
1998 33 NYY AL 54 147 16 34 3 1 0 14 1 0 4 15 .231 .250 .265 39 1 1 0 0 5
1999 34 NYY AL 49 127 20 32 6 0 2 16 1 0 4 17 .252 .275 .346 44 2 0 0 0 4
2000 35 PIT NL 61 176 14 50 11 0 5 20 1 0 11 16 .284 .328 .432 76 0 1 3 1 6
NYY AL 34 125 19 36 7 1 2 17 1 0 6 6 .288 .321 .408 51 3 0 0 0 5
TOT 95 301 33 86 18 1 7 37 2 0 17 22 .286 .325 .422 127 3 1 3 1 11
2001 36 NYY AL 39 79 5 13 2 0 0 9 1 0 4 12 .165 .214 .190 15 0 0 0 1 0
2003 38 NYY AL 3 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000 .000 .000 0 0 0 0 0 0

[angi]

Do you have the tojones?

[awong]

Sojo is a coach on the Yankees now and he played that old timer game :P

[generaltojo]

Sojo is a coach on the Yankees now and he played that old timer game :P

How appropriate.

Angi: Is a "tojone" a type of enchilada? If so, no guac in mine.

[xian]

He had a lifetime WARP3 of 16.0

That's higher than Bonds...


...has ever reached in a single season.

[bluejives]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

thank you, angi. but i was asking generaltojo.

Angi's right, but I think it'd be pretty funny to pronounce it To-ho. Maybe add Luis before it: General Luis Tojo, Shortstop, Cincinatti Reds. That's muh name, don't overuse it... ;)

actually i was more thinking of Toho as in Toho Studios of Japan, creators of the original Gojira, that radioactively-spawned, jurassic-screeching masterpiece of destruction. did you know that the original Gojira flicks were loaded with political innuendo, with subtle references to the American testing of the H-Bomb in the Pacific, along with the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? a point that is lost on most Americans because they got chopped and hacked into a level of cheesy saturday afternoon B-level flicks.

next question, when are you guys gonna bring on a General Tso, as in General Tso's Chicken, for comic relief purposes?

[xian]

Anglo. Toe-Joe, not Toe-Hoe.

thank you, angi. but i was asking generaltojo.

Angi's right, but I think it'd be pretty funny to pronounce it To-ho. Maybe add Luis before it: General Luis Tojo, Shortstop, Cincinatti Reds. That's muh name, don't overuse it... ;)

actually i was more thinking of Toho as in Toho Studios of Japan, creators of the original Gojira, that radioactively-spawned, jurassic-screeching masterpiece of destruction. did you know that the original Gojira flicks were loaded with political innuendo, with subtle references to the American testing of the H-Bomb in the Pacific, along with the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki? a point that is lost on most Americans because they got chopped and hacked into a level of cheesy saturday afternoon B-level flicks.

next question, when are you guys gonna bring on a General Tso, as in General Tso's Chicken, for comic relief purposes?

Did you know that "Insert General Tso's Chicken HERE!!" means "Beautiful Godness" in racist appropriation of Chinese characters?

[angi]

Sojo is a coach on the Yankees now and he played that old timer game :P

How appropriate.

Angi: Is a "tojone" a type of enchilada? If so, no guac in mine.

No, I was making a corny joke. You know tojones instead of cajones (cajones=balls en espanol)

[generaltojo]

Sojo is a coach on the Yankees now and he played that old timer game :P

How appropriate.

Angi: Is a "tojone" a type of enchilada? If so, no guac in mine.

No, I was making a corny joke. You know tojones instead of cajones (cajones=balls en espanol)

Yes yes, I knew that. Corn is not unique to you, my dear.

[Dialectic]

Zhaogao is supposed to be our comedian. He's not here for comedy "relief," though, so much as comedy mass-instigation. But he hasn't been participating as much as we'd hoped, the bastard. He's going through major changes in his life at the moment. He did say, though, that he's gonna give us some classic ZG words soon ....

[angi]

*slaps forehead*

doh!