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Dialectic
Jul 22nd, 2004, 06:23 PM
You want something to get mad about? Get mad about this.

http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com/index.pxe?ct=1090579977;ctype=Page;curloc=Cat:3;si te_id=1;objid=13;_cchk=ct-ctype-curloc-objid-site_id@2744

The Hes' letter to the public

Birth parents defending parental rights

Birth parents denied parental rights

June 12, 2004

As the birth parents of Anna Mae He, we want to tell the world about the tragedy that has happened to our family.

May 12, 2004 will forever be the day that echoes this tragedy in our family: a Memphis judge, Robert Childers, terminated our parental rights to our five-year-old daughter, Anna Mae. After years of waiting for a trial, after weeks of the trial itself, and after a long thirty-days of waiting for a ruling, we knew our time for justice was finally coming on May 12, the very last possible day of Judge Childersís 30-day time limit for a ruling. In the morning, we got up very early from a sleepless night and were very excited that, today, we might finally be reunited with our beloved daughter. We were surrounded by positive energy. Our attorney, Mr. Siegel, reassured us over and over again that he was quite optimistic that we would win the case based on the trial record. The local Chinese community had made special arrangements by reserving a hotel room close to the court where we could easily receive the judgeís verdict. The hours crawled by. We were guessing that the ruling would finally come sometime between 4:00 and 5:00 pm. So, we drove to the hotel at about 3:30 that afternoon. Mr. Siegel told us to stay in our room and not to talk to any media until he came to counsel us. In truth, the only person we wanted to talk to was our Anna Mae. We had no other words left to say that anyone else would care about. Just her. She was our miracle, born prematurely after my wife was attacked, both of them surviving a C-section delivery that risked their lives. Finally, all of our lives would be brought back together.

At about 4:30, we turned on the TV in our hotel room to watch the local news for reporting of the ruling. And at last it came, as surely as news of a tragic death. All the local networks reported ìbreaking newsî that Judge Childers had released his verdict to news media: terminate our parental rights and pronounce the Bakers news parents of Anna Mae.

We were thunderstruck, decimated to near panic. We called Mr. Siegel repeatedly, and he kept telling us to stay calm because he was supposed to receive the ruling by email before any news media. He comforted us by saying news from any other sources were just rumors. Then Mr. Cai, a local Chinese leader, arrived at our room, his face pale and his lips thin; he turned away his eyes from my wife, who knew something was wrong. A long silence blanketed the room. I tried my best to control my feelings and reassure my wife, repeating our attorneyís assurances that we were just hearing rumors, telling her that Mr. Siegel was on his way to us. It didnít matter what I said; she cried silently. The idea that it was all only a rumor was short-lived and barely breathed while we tried to entertain it. While we sat silently shattered in a hotel room that now felt like a tomb, the local stations began to cover the news of the Bakers holding a press conference to celebrate their legal victory. They said to the public and to us as we watched them stretch their arms high in the air: ìGod made it His way. Judge Childers made a right decision. Our prayers are answered and Hesí parental rights are terminated. We will take the last step of adopting Anna MaeÖî

At about 5:10, Mr. Siegel arrived at our hotel room, and we could notice, even in our stupor, that he was just murmuring. He seemed only able to repeat the same word over and over again: Incredible. Simply incredible! ìIncredibleî usually has some positive connotations, but not today. Among the judgeís reasons for taking our daughter away from us: ìThere is a ëone-child-per-familyí policy in the Peopleís Republic of China,î he said in his ruling. ìThe death rate for children of AMHís gender is fifty (50%) percent in that country [China].î We had been ruled unfit as a nation.

Some four years ago, we began asking the local courts for the return of our child from the Bakers. Our request was denied. Now, four years later, we are still asking and this time itís as if weíve been punished for asking too many timesóour parental rights have been terminated and we have been declared to be unfit parents. For four years, we have never deviated once from the path of trying to get our child back, yet, in the end, weíre found guilty of willful abandonment.

In November 1999, when we began to ask for our childís return, President Clinton was then in officeóin our desperation for help from anyone, we sent him some letters. Then in 2000, George W. Bush was elected President, and we naively thought we might get a response from a new official. So, we sent him some letters. And now, in 2004, comes yet another presidential election, and while we donít know who will be in the White House, we will again send the President letters asking for help because we are always hoping for new hope, administration after administration after administration.

In this prolonged custody war, weíve had four judges preside over this case. Four. Each time someone new began to review our case, it revived a flickering hope in us that finally, maybe, with a little luck, this judge might be the one to fix the problems in our case caused by the last judge, that with this judge we might finally receive justiceÖ and our daughter. And each time we were disappointed. One time in the hands of Judge Horne, he was about to rule in our favor when the Bakers moved the case to Chancery Court. Since then, we waited and waited, and at last in came to Judge Childers, who handed down his judgment to terminate our parental rights and declare us unfit parents. We have two other young children with us; does this mean we are no good to them, either? Will someone arrive at our door one day with a piece of paper that arbitrarily takes them away from us as well, making the devastation of our family and our lives complete? We have no way of knowing. Itís like waiting to be beaten.

After four years of exhausting battles, public shame, dashed hopes, and desperate prayers, we are now at the crossroads: to continue this hopeless fight in Tennessee or to quit fight and quit having any deceptive hope. Up to now we have utterly lost our remaining faith in Tennessee justice system and are psychologically preparing ourselves to go back to where we came from: China. What American dream do we have now? When I first came to the U.S., I was inspired by the words inscribed on the Statue of Liberty, the ones that welcome everyoneó

Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses, yearning to breathe freeÖ

But on that long May Day when Anna Mae was taken from my wife and me, I realized that these words are not honored, at least in Tennessee. Not really. The legal ordeal Iíd faced shortly after arriving in America was a horrific struggle, but nothing compared to having my child taken from me by force. Watching my wife break down at hearing the news was yet another ordeal. I understood finally that, as Chinese immigrants, we have received very little respect in America. Our words have been twisted to be viewed in the most terrible light. We have been called liars by the judge and been tricked into giving up custody of our daughter. We were told we were helping her by signing paperwork to give her health insurance when, in fact, we were signing her away. So, we came here to have our child taken away from us, it seems. We came here to be caught in a confusing maze of a legal system where weíve always been strangers, always been outsiders. Anyway, we decide to appeal. As long as there is justice, Judge Childersís ruling will be reversed.

So, now that we are down to the end of our ability to endure, we can only wish all the best for our daughter, Anna Mae, no matter where she is or where she will end up in life. Even if we are thousands of miles across the ocean in a country she may never see, we hope she will remember us, her mother and her father, whose names on her birth certificate that she may never be able to put with faces. We hope she will come to realize one day, when maybe she sees a picture of hers in our arms and all of us smiling as a family, that we were never ìunfit,î as Judge Childers said we were. We just didnít fit in, thatís all.

http://www.isthisamerica.com
http://www.parentalrightsandjustice.com
http://familyrightsassociation.com/horror_stories/he/
http://binhan.home.netcom.com/annamae/JackHe.htm

xian
Jul 22nd, 2004, 06:27 PM
Thanks for writing on this issue--I'm going to read the article now.

I wanted to stress two things I've learned from my experience in the court system in regards to children:
1. The standard for termination of parental rights is agreed to be MUCH MUCH higher than what was applied in this case.
2. The lack of understanding of cultural diversity in the court system is pretty bad and therefore is a strong explanation for what happened.

If you have the passion and want to make the time, suit up and join CASA as a volunteer. They need smart, empathetic young folks of color to help take care of the kids and families in the system since so many of them are of color. The organization does good stuff, but is plagued with the same institutional racism that is pervasive in this society. Change it!

http://www.nationalcasa.org/

HipHopMind
Jul 29th, 2004, 02:58 PM
I don't think I'm good enough for the volunteering thing at CASA, but is there any other way to help? Besides the fact of trying to spread this to other Asian Americans? I feel this is beyond our influence because it's entangled in the American justice/legal system.

I want to stand the fuck up, but I just don't know where to stand the fuck up damn it. This is an important cause.

xian
Jul 29th, 2004, 03:02 PM
I don't think I'm good enough for the volunteering thing at CASA, but is there any other way to help? Besides the fact of trying to spread this to other Asian Americans? I feel this is beyond our influence because it's entangled in the American justice/legal system.

I want to stand the fuck up, but I just don't know where to stand the fuck up damn it. This is an important cause.

I think what you are saying is a good way to stand up. I think "color-blind" explanation of the story to non-Asian acquaintances is a good move too. Just lead by talking about this family that had their daughter basically kidnapped and then the court system awarded the kid to the kidnappers. Then get into the ethnic issues.

VeryAngry
Aug 13th, 2004, 01:04 AM
Infuriating. If I were in America I would go on a rampage of vandalism.

Variance
Oct 21st, 2004, 11:46 PM
This is pure bullshit.. some other contextual evidence that may give insight to what the court did what they did was that the husband of the white couple was a "pastor".

and he had a strong desire so to say to bring christianity to this girl.

As a Christian myself. a moderate not a insane fundie.

Im completely disgusted by this. hell Im pissed off.
Its bullshit. You have no right to force your beliefs on someone like this.
Its that missionary zeal bullshit carried to the exreme.
Rescue the girl from the evil pagans.

When she gets old enough she should decide what the hell she's gonna believe.

ryu
Oct 22nd, 2004, 01:16 AM
2. The lack of understanding of cultural diversity in the court system is pretty bad and therefore is a strong explanation for what happened.

I totally agree with what xian is saying. This, I believe, this is founded upon the mainstream western society's lack of interest in mental development and expanding personal knowledge. Furthermore, it is sustain by their resistance to recognize and thus reject their discriminatory egocentric mindset. It is truly sad that in the country founded upon the ideology of freedom and equality, I am constantly force to challenge and confront a sociocultural hierarchy that places me at the bottom tier.

Dialectic
Oct 22nd, 2004, 02:48 AM
Ryu, if you haven't read it already and you're so inclined, I wrote a Feature on the life of Xiao Qiang He:

http://www.thefighting44s.com/features/stealth/hefamily/

And yes, I totally agree: the lack of emphasis on development and growth beyond baseline rationality (or even mythic-membership pseudo-rationality i.e. The American Way is the Best Way) is a very harmful and frustrating thing to deal with, especially when it comes in the wake of a supposed ideology of freedom and respect for human life and culture.

StrongBad
Oct 22nd, 2004, 05:35 AM
This is one of those types of cases that should rouse the fire from anyone's soul. The fact that these parents ever had to fight for their own baby is nauseating.
I signed a petition, but I just don't feel it's enough. I don't think it will be taken seriously enough, judging by those who already signed it.
If I had enough confidence that it would accomplish something, I would write to the designated congressman myself.

evil_FUX
Oct 22nd, 2004, 05:47 AM
Maybe we just need to keep our hopes up and keep writing like Tim Robbins' character in The Shawshank Redemption.

Variance
Oct 22nd, 2004, 03:20 PM
Maybe we should be writing the church he's a pastor of.
Have a protest outside of it with local 44s.

Dialectic
Oct 22nd, 2004, 03:22 PM
Whassup Strongbad, welcome to the 44s! Glad you're here and feelin' the need to shake things up.

If you haven't already, please check out our Declarations to learn about our vision and stance. Little Red Book offers guidance for the type of posting we want to see here, and Integral Slanted discusses the more complex aspects of Integral Theory and Practice, on which we base this site and on which I base my life.

Also, Variance, perhaps I've missed something, but who's a pastor?

Taliesin Stormheller
Oct 22nd, 2004, 06:08 PM
I want to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT for this kid's rights. How can I help? I already signed tons of petitions.