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kimtae
Jul 13th, 2004, 01:19 AM
Just in case you see me pop up from time to time, don't be surprised. I don't post a lot but when I do, I have something to say. It might be all wrong but it still all comes from the heart.
Anger is fuel but you gotta use it like nitrous oxide, don't blow your gaskets. I'm a recovering rage-aholic. Looking for peace now but still feeling the heat. Got out of the States 9 years ago to return to Asia. I still go back to America 5/6 times a year on business but I like to get out as soon as I can. To paraphrase Langston Hughes, "Amerikkka never was America to me."
I ain't bragging but I kicked more ass and layed down more smack in my 25 years in America than a lot of you can imagine. I'm a big guy, my nickname is steamroller and I'm like cheap toilet paper; rough, tough, and I don't take shit off anyone. But in my day there was no internet, no idea about community or commonly shared pain. Just me, always fighting, always angry. I wish this kind of shit had been around when I was a young man, then I wouldn't have felt like I was the only one who had to bear the brunt of White America's hate. I'm an old man now and I don't have many fights left. I have to choose them carefully, but that doesn't mean I won't throw down for a just cause. No dog bites like an old dog.
My anger isn't gone, I just let it seethe under the surface now instead of letting it boil over all the time.

HipHopMind
Jul 13th, 2004, 01:37 AM
Your info was pimp. Whats up G.

Welcome aboard.

Dialectic
Jul 13th, 2004, 01:40 AM
Whassup Kimtae, welcome to the 44s.

Ha ha, the kids these days just don't know what a miracle the internet is.

Hope you stick around; anybody who can paraphrase Langston Hughes is definitely cool wid us.

kimtae
Jul 13th, 2004, 02:05 AM
Whassup Kimtae, welcome to the 44s.

Ha ha, the kids these days just don't know what a miracle the internet is.

Hope you stick around; anybody who can paraphrase Langston Hughes is definitely cool wid us.Thanks, and yes, the internet does bridge the loneliness. I grew up in areas that had at most one or two other Asian families if any at all so basically I always thought my fight was a solitary one. Imagine my surprise when one day, I click onto a website (it was MM.com) and there are the same stories and the same anger that I always thought were only mine to bear. It's a good feeling to know you are unique but you are not alone. Thanks for the website and all the work that goes into it.

Dialectic
Jul 13th, 2004, 02:16 AM
Almost all the Core44s grew up in places with few Asians around, so we feel you there.

I really appreciate these posts of yours. This is exactly what we want to be doing: reaching out to the folks who think they're alone.