Thanks for your comments. This feminism thing has been on my mind for the past two weeks. I see how modern Asian Americans define feminism, and I see how it’s usually defined in terms of how bad Asian men are, rather than how good Asian women are or could be. Something is wrong with that mindset. It’s another case of Pin the tail on the Asian male. Something tells me that that mindset is wrong.

We’ve had a few blog posts on the topic of real feminism recently from Asian women. Hopefully they’ll continue to post, and I’ll continue to learn.

That said, she made the decisions she made. Since she honestly seemed like a young woman who was ‘looking for something’ to give her life meaning, it is likely that she would’ve found a way to damage her personal relationships even if the mean internet wasn’t involved. New York City itself can easily be an isolating place (I say this as a lifelong native), and that’s not hard to believe that she felt that way. However, I think it’s important to take responsibility for the decisions one makes, and it seems like she’s done that…to an extent.

Emily’s life changed because of a number of selfish and egotistical decisions. Frankly, deciding to include her personal life in a blog- especially her ‘work’ blog- was a decision she made for, seemingly, her own desire for positive feedback. This is one thing to do on a private blog, but I find it very suspicious to do on a blog about celebrities and Manhattan. Either way, common sense would say that its unethical to expose the business of others (aka, those you’re involved with) without their permission. Honestly, these are things I did on my xanga when I was 17. It really doesn’t take a psychologist to get that looking for fulfillment through blog-responses is…not healthy.

Jaehwan, I am familiar enough with A/AA cultures to know where you’re coming from in terms of how feminism issues within the community often become gender-combative. It’s unfortunate that so much of what we perceive to be ‘feminist freedom’ often boils down to what we do with out private parts. At the same time, I find it suspicious when someone proclaims to love their own culture and people, and yet would never consider anyone from that culture as a romantic option. I date white people on occasion; I date all ethnicities. But, at the end of the day, I would like to ideally settle with someone who looks like me. If I fall for someone who doesn’t, that’s fine. But the intent, even if it isn’t necessarily fair, means alot to be.

I think a big part of this discussion boils down to- what is feminist? Is it feminist to date within your culture? To the exclusion of others (especially those who are perceived as holding social or sexual power)? Is it feminist to proudly proclaim you personal exploits on a popular blog? What is owning your identity? When we figure that out, I think everything else will fall into place.