Scowl, I’ll be writing a post on ethnocentrism and identity soon.

I imagine that most people don’t make any distinction between the two, which can cause problems as the goals of the two can sometimes be at odds.

Why ethnocentrism may be necessary for AAs is another discussion altogether.

For me, the key point that qualifies D’s thinking process is that he differentiates between those of us who are active in AA issues versus those of us who desire to advocate / take leadership roles in AA advocacy, and to be 100% effective in that role as a leader.

Anyway, I just posted a blurb in the latest Reappropriate thread about putting our energies into organized boycotts. That’s not to say we shove the IR issue under the rug. It’d still be on the agenda, and hopefully boycotts will whittle down the divide because we’re attacking the root cause of those stereotypes. And really, boycotts involve just you and your wallet, and it’s simple enough thing to do without constantly getting bogged down in arguments where people can’t see the other’s perspective.

I’ll mention something I encountered on another forum, and that’s people aren’t always willing to put their money where their mouth is when it comes to boycotts– especially when it comes to movies– because they don’t want to be deprived of entertainment. There’re ways to keep the money from passing hands without depriving anyone, such as volunteer-organized movie screenings in the community. I’ve seen backpackers do this with great success. Of course they didn’t do it with the intention of fighting stereotypes, but it does prove that people are willing to get off their couch and see these screenings– after all, they’re free!

Hey urbia, I read your post on Reappropriate, which, for the record, I read before these past few F44s features - it’s strange to see two of my mostly separate internet worlds collide. Yes, your comment did show up, and since no one else has responded, I guess I’ll do it.

In my opinion, it all depends on what you’re fighting for. Taking heat FOR your cause is probably the part you’re calling fun. Taking heat for other things ends up weakening your message and splintering the group into sub-groups, which ultimately ends up hurting the cause.

Maybe the difference lies in what “the cause” is?

I think that in order for AFs to truly be “free” to choose who we date/marry, we must be free of stereotypes and colonialism. Otherwise, there are already subconscious and societal points given to WMs (or maybe taken away from AMs).

AMs should also be “free” to choose who they date/marry. It is not their fault that many women won’t date them because of stereotypes. They are trapped into choosing from a much smaller pool of people who make a conscious effort to not heed those stereotypes.

First, congratulations. I hope your baby and your family are happy and healthy.

Second, and forgive me if I’m misreading the tone of your post, but I just wanted to say that it’s unnecessary to come forward in such a conciliatory or “almost-apologetic” manner. I know you’re not, of course, apologizing or conciliating, but I’m not sure what other words to use to describe the tone, which I appreciate, but again, is not necessary. From what I know of you you seem like a wonderful person, and I’m sure your husband is, too, not that you need to hear that from me.

Believe me, I thought about going into more issues, and we can talk about other hypotheticals ’til the cows come home.

I have a buddy in Toronto with a Ph.D. in sociology who studies racial stuff specifically, and he’s worked with children’s aid, the kindest Asian male, or really, human being, you’ve ever met, and he’s with a black woman who also has her Ph.D. (or is getting it, I don’t quite remember).

But I’m not going to comment on different combinations and what applies where and when, nor will I go into “ranking” the “acceptability” of different combinations.

I’m just saying this, and I’m saying it repeatedly: you say you’ll stand up for Asians, and you love Asians, and you go home with someone who’s not an Asian. That seems to be a bit ridiculous. As Maogirl said, the point is self-evident. And if it’s not to you, then I can’t talk you into it.

As Jay-Z said, it’s just my thoughts.

Anyway, I’d say that, when an AA advocate gets involved with another non-Asian, non-white minority, it is better but still not ideal in terms of the image that is presented to the world. While segments of the different minority groups are occasionally at odds, all of our interests do not necessarily have to be opposed to one another. In the case of whites, all minority interests are opposed to whtie interests by necessity.

But it gets a lot more complicated than that, which I’m sure you know, and it’s getting late. Maybe someone else can elaborate or I can get back to this tomorow.

Anansasem, the article deals exclusively with AF/WM, and the same principles do not necessarily apply to other IR pairings.

I recognize that my marriage is a symbol seen by most as a continuation of the white male power hegemony. I regretfully agree with the argument that someone with my marital status can never really be a legitimate, effective AA activist or leader. I’m not an AA activist or leader. I’m just a person who is aware of the unequal balance of power and race issues and I try to reconcile these ideas with my marriage and how I look at things in life now. Do I sometimes wished my husband was AM? Yes, once in a while even though we have a very good marriage. Sometimes I wished someone broke it down with me and I would have thought about it but ultimately, it was my decision. It’s something I have to deal with and live with, but I’m not ignoring the reality.

When my son is born in a few months, I hope I can raise him to be a proud, confident hapa AM. He’s going to go through a lot of shit I’ve been through, but even more because he is hapa and AM. People are going to project all kinds of crazy racist or judgmental ideas on to him, but I’ll be damned if his identity is going to be defined by others or ends up being some self-hating, white washed person. But his very existence again is going to be seen by some, deference to the white male power structure and no matter how awesome he might turn out, he’ll always be that to some people. But if I can do a halfway decent job raising him, then he’ll know who he is.

My point is, I’m in IR and I’m living with the consequences and knowledge that go along it. I’m not asking for a my executive AA activist bathroom key nor do I wish to rationalize my marriage for approval/acceptance. But I have an interest in AA issues but in the interest of others struggling with the IR disparity and AM stereotypes, I’ve tried to keep out it because I’ve felt it’s not my place to butt in.