Comments on: Marriage in America: The Frayed Knot http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/ Uniting the Asian Conscience Mon, 08 Sep 2008 03:01:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: The Fighting 44s » Blog Archive » The Evolution of Activism pt. 1 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-6109 The Fighting 44s » Blog Archive » The Evolution of Activism pt. 1 Fri, 16 May 2008 20:53:58 +0000 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-6109 [...] marriage with a specific emphasis on how single motherhood could hurt women; she took this to mean they were putting all the responsibility of their motherhood and life circumstances on them. I discussed how, because straight white men are at the top of the food chain, that it probably [...] […] marriage with a specific emphasis on how single motherhood could hurt women; she took this to mean they were putting all the responsibility of their motherhood and life circumstances on them. I discussed how, because straight white men are at the top of the food chain, that it probably […]

]]> By: Dialectic http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1528 Dialectic Wed, 13 Jun 2007 17:09:43 +0000 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1528 I don't think the author of the article is, consciously or unconsciously, encouraging or enabling a diminished role for men at all. I think that it approaches the topic with a focus on the impact of marriage on young women because things like marriage and childbirth and child-rearing have a larger impact on young women than it does on young men. We need only look at trends in single-motherhood vs. single-fatherhood to see that. This is, in my view, a practical, and indeed feminist article, in the same vein as targeting women moreso than men for birth control education, because women are generally more impacted by having children (not just biologically, but also socially, emotionally, and economically) than men. I don’t think the author of the article is, consciously or unconsciously, encouraging or enabling a diminished role for men at all. I think that it approaches the topic with a focus on the impact of marriage on young women because things like marriage and childbirth and child-rearing have a larger impact on young women than it does on young men. We need only look at trends in single-motherhood vs. single-fatherhood to see that. This is, in my view, a practical, and indeed feminist article, in the same vein as targeting women moreso than men for birth control education, because women are generally more impacted by having children (not just biologically, but also socially, emotionally, and economically) than men.

]]> By: atlasien http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1443 atlasien Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:54:10 +0000 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1443 A discussion at Racialicious recently popped up on this same topic: <a href="http://www.racialicious.com/2007/06/06/know-your-place-woman-bets-meet-the-faith-on-black-marriage" rel="nofollow">Know Your Place, Woman: BET’s Meet the Faith on Black Marriage</a>. A discussion at Racialicious recently popped up on this same topic:

Know Your Place, Woman: BET’s Meet the Faith on Black Marriage.

]]> By: Cattygurl http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1436 Cattygurl Tue, 05 Jun 2007 21:17:29 +0000 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1436 D, I think you're spot-on for the most part. [quote]In my opinion, they focus on women because women are generally more relationship-oriented and marriage-minded than men (for social, patriarchal, and biological reasons), and tracking the opinion of various women makes for an interesting and impactful snapshot of modern trends in the state of marriage in America.[/quote] ^^ Good point. At the same time, the role of marriage for men seems to be diminished by not looking into male perspectives, since men reap a lot of benefits from marriage, and research often points to men benefiting more than women in many cases. By getting only female voices, there's an implication that marriage is a "female" topic- when it's really a topic that should be important to both genders. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_12_99/ai_71704809 D, I think you’re spot-on for the most part.

[quote]In my opinion, they focus on women because women are generally more relationship-oriented and marriage-minded than men (for social, patriarchal, and biological reasons), and tracking the opinion of various women makes for an interesting and impactful snapshot of modern trends in the state of marriage in America.[/quote]

^^ Good point. At the same time, the role of marriage for men seems to be diminished by not looking into male perspectives, since men reap a lot of benefits from marriage, and research often points to men benefiting more than women in many cases. By getting only female voices, there’s an implication that marriage is a “female” topic- when it’s really a topic that should be important to both genders.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_12_99/ai_71704809

]]> By: Dialectic http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1386 Dialectic Sun, 03 Jun 2007 08:17:25 +0000 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1386 I don't disagree with your conclusion about commitment, permanence, mutual support, etc. at all. And to be honest, I don't propose that marriage is any sort of "magic bullet," and the Economist isn't saying that either. The author of the article demonstrates, I think, a pretty good awareness of the state of marriage in the U.S. and how getting married isn't supposed to be considered a trivial thing or a cure-all. Also, I don't think the tone of the article is at all implying that only women should change their ways. They don't, for example, pin the "collapse" of the black family on black females, nor do they state or imply that it's up to the woman to stably commit or be primarily responsible for a good marriage. In my opinion, they focus on women because women are generally more relationship-oriented and marriage-minded than men (for social, patriarchal, and biological reasons), and tracking the opinion of various women makes for an interesting and impactful snapshot of modern trends in the state of marriage in America. I don’t disagree with your conclusion about commitment, permanence, mutual support, etc. at all. And to be honest, I don’t propose that marriage is any sort of “magic bullet,” and the Economist isn’t saying that either. The author of the article demonstrates, I think, a pretty good awareness of the state of marriage in the U.S. and how getting married isn’t supposed to be considered a trivial thing or a cure-all. Also, I don’t think the tone of the article is at all implying that only women should change their ways. They don’t, for example, pin the “collapse” of the black family on black females, nor do they state or imply that it’s up to the woman to stably commit or be primarily responsible for a good marriage. In my opinion, they focus on women because women are generally more relationship-oriented and marriage-minded than men (for social, patriarchal, and biological reasons), and tracking the opinion of various women makes for an interesting and impactful snapshot of modern trends in the state of marriage in America.

]]> By: atlasien http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1384 atlasien Sat, 02 Jun 2007 19:18:56 +0000 http://www.thefighting44s.com/archives/2007/06/02/marriage-in-america-the-frayed-knot/#comment-1384 I have little faith in marriage promotion. There are so many financial incentives and tax breaks that you get when married, so I'm really not sure what the "tax penalty" for marriage is. Plus, the tone of the article makes it clear that it's only the women who need to change their ways; there's not one single interview with a father. I think this is totally unrealistic. I recently went to a training seminar with a really intense discussion of fatherhood in the African-American community, and the seminar leaders (all African-American fathers themselves) were clear that real change has to involve men redefining their own roles as fathers, resisting negative media pressure and setting high standards for themselves. There are a lot of ways to make positive change in any family's life by focusing on committment, permanency, mutual support, self-esteem, education, community... marriage is not the magic bullet that carries along all of that. I have little faith in marriage promotion. There are so many financial incentives and tax breaks that you get when married, so I’m really not sure what the “tax penalty” for marriage is. Plus, the tone of the article makes it clear that it’s only the women who need to change their ways; there’s not one single interview with a father. I think this is totally unrealistic. I recently went to a training seminar with a really intense discussion of fatherhood in the African-American community, and the seminar leaders (all African-American fathers themselves) were clear that real change has to involve men redefining their own roles as fathers, resisting negative media pressure and setting high standards for themselves. There are a lot of ways to make positive change in any family’s life by focusing on committment, permanency, mutual support, self-esteem, education, community… marriage is not the magic bullet that carries along all of that.

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